Do you think putting one’s wellbeing over your own desires is a sign of True Love?

[Anonymous]

Imagine: you are a player and wanted to use him/her for your own egoistic purposes, but then you found out the person is caring, sincere, kind-hearted and means well for you. After that despite your enormous desire and you COULD use them, you decide NOT to play their feelings and stop torturing them, saying they deserve better. Is it the act of placing their well-being over your ego, care for them means you acknowledged the True love and left to make them live happy life?

[NathanDavis]

if I were a player and also a selfish douchebag... then I would not care at all about her vulnerability, I would just take advantage of her and see her as an easy target to get my ways, because I would be a selfish player and a douchebag, and these are the true marks of people who do this


now, personally... i am not like that, i never use people like that nor play with their feelings at all... and while I am very caring and considerate over the wellbeing of others, and especially my partners, they do become my priority, however... I also aim for balance because is just not a good idea at all to give up on yourself just to please others entirely, this, can be a really bad thing for relationships

so, I prefer balance in a couple/relationship... both people should care for each other and see for one another, should be about reciprocation and not just one sacrificing for the other constantly

[Asker]

You’re absolutely right. I wonder to hear answers of people who use others often and see how the guilt would change them
Also, do you think cheating can’t be justified and it’s a sign of disrespect and lack of love to your partner?

[NathanDavis]

I do not believe there is any justification for cheating, no... cheating is always bad, no matter what

even if you cheat on someone because they cheated on you first, or because they neglected you/were really bad to you... those are excuses but no justification and cheating is always wrong either way, to me anyway... this is a very personal take and point of view

now... I do think that it is possible and I have actually seen cases in which players who use people... they kind of decide to refrain and use certain people... I do remember some of them saying "she was too innocent or too good" so they just decided to stay away and not do something

but they did not do it out of love or care, they just didn't want to get involved with them because they would have done a lot of damage and way too easily but these were some... some others just go ahead and used people that are very vulnerable because well... that's their thing, they just use people with a lot less or no remorse at all

[Asker]

I’m so happy to see not all men think it’s their nature and entitlement to cheat.
Well, as you said they didn’t want to cause the damage to the “good person”, I think it’s a form of ultimate love, a saint one, when you don’t want to cause suffering and leave them for the best. Of course it’s not “traditional love” like going in vacation together, moving in etc, but when you admit you’re a bad influence, isn’t it the only best way to set them free? It’s a sense of God arose in even corrupted people

[NathanDavis]

well... I do not think it comes out of love

it is more like convenience for them, they don't want it but that's still for selfish reasons, and they are still going to ruin someone else... which is not what God would want

[Asker]

If you don’t mind, I message you just to give a real example

[NathanDavis]

alright

[Berethor]

"I want my beloved to be happy" trope? though it more likely "even evil has standards" trope. I don't think that it's that much of a sacrifice for a player, he could still find a lot of hos to use, why use an innocent?

[Anonymous]

yeah it is