She fucked some other guy after me?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I have been together since about November 2020. And not till now almost two years later she tells me in the heat of an argument that she fucked some guy after me. And I know who he is, he’s always popped up since before she told me that. And I feel lost as to what I should do, she says forget about it and continue how we are now, like damn bitch I’m processing everything rn, it’s been a week or two and I don’t know how to feel, I can forgive her but she gets away with it. And I can continue as if nothing happened. But literally after her and I met the next day she fucked that dude. And what hurts the most is that I had to find out now after a baby, after planning our futures after all of that. Smh any advise on what I should do next?

[OlderAndWiser]

Ask her if it's okay for you to go fuck another girl now, just so you won't feel that she got ahead of you on the score. (I'm not suggesting that you actually do that; I'm just saying to put it out there as an idea.) I'll bet it's not okay.

Then you ask her, "How's that suggestion sound? Horrible just to hear it? Awful to imagine me doing that? Now imagine how you'd feel if I actually went and did that! That's what you did to me!"

So you let that sink in, then you ask "What do you think you could ever do for me that would ever re-establish the level of trust that we had before?"

[Asker]

That a perfect answer, and I know it wouldn’t be okay, Ik it wouldn’t. But I’ll try that.

[OlderAndWiser]

Good luck!

[ChiTown33]

While I kind of agree with you @OlderAndWiser I feel like she said it just to hurt him. I mean why would she bring it up now otherwise. I'm not saying you're wrong in this. But someone has to be the adult. I think he needs to let her know she hurt him deeply without a challenge. And like you say kind of let that marinate with her for a bit. Because if you claim to love someone you don't go out of your way to hurt them. That's not healthy.

[OlderAndWiser]

@ChiTown33 I understand your point. My take was that she said this because she was feeling guilty and wanted to get it out in the open. They've been together for two years, maybe she thinks he is getting ready to propose, and she doesn't want this hanging over her head.

[Asker]

Sad part is that I did want to take things to a new step and make her my wife, but now I don’t know how to feel, she says she doesn’t care what happens if we stay together or break up so i guess I know what I have to do now. Thank you guys ! I appreciate your though and good words

[OlderAndWiser]

If she says she doesn't care. . .! Sounds like she was hoping to precipitate a breakup.

[Anonymous]

Im not sure what 'he’s always popped up since before she told me that' is supposed to mean but it sounds to me as though you were not in a relationship when she fucked that guy so she hasn't cheated on you and therefore hasn't actually done anything wrong.

I get it though, its hard to hear shit like that but the long and the short of it is that she chose to be with you, she didn't have to do that, she could have been riding around on cock carousel this entire time had she wanted to.

The part that bothers me about this actually is that she told you this in the heat of an argument.

That doesn't sound particularly healthy to me, perhaps the 2 of you could work on communicating more effectively with each other?

And or dealing with whatever shit you really have going on because this guy doesn't seem to be anything to do with it.

[Aerissa_Jade]

When you say " literally after her and I met the next day she fucked that dude."

She had sex with someone else the day after you met? so you weren't together yet, if you just met the day before?

Context here matters.

If you weren't together, you were just dating then does it matter?

It would be different, if you two got in an argument and she ran out and did it to get revenge on you... for payback.

You'll have to decide if you can trust her or move on.

You may want to stay for the babies sake, but consider this. Two people together who aren't a good match trying to raise a child is worse for the child, than if they split up.

[KrakenAttackin]

@aerissa_jade "If you weren't together, you were just dating then does it matter?". Female bullshit.

[Aerissa_Jade]

@KrakenAttackin Dating means I'm not involved yet, he is not my boyfriend and we aren't exclusive... if we decide to make the change to a relationship then all the others stop. I can date 7 or more guys at a time with no issue, but soon as one of them takes the lead and relationship starts, the others are all done, no more.

Guys can and do the same thing all the time.

[KrakenAttackin]

@aerissa_jade "I can date 7 or more guys at a time with no issue,". This is called the Cock Carousel.

[Aerissa_Jade]

@KrakenAttackin Dating does not equal sex.

[tonamimargaux]

Damn!! That's disturbing & so confusing I can comprehend very well but if you think she's worth giving a chance you should try or else if it still bothers you just break up. For the baby 👶 is what I am worried I hope he/she grows up well even if you guys decide to part ways.

[Anonymous]

I would tell her. Either you said this deliberately to hurt me. Or you never loved me. I ASSUME since you had a child together and it sounds like you've been together a bit. That she does love you. But I'd tell her "I'll NEVER see you the same way again, congratulations". Make sure she knows she can't unfire that bullet. Then I'd be done talking to her for however long it took me to come to terms with it.

Sorry she did this to you man. I really hope you two get past it. If not for you two for your child.

[Asker]

I agree, because I look at her and i don’t see her the same, also Ik it’s pridefull of me to cut ties with her but I have a feeling our baby is going to see things differently and it’s going to suck more if we are Apart and not united like we are now. Thank you for being neutral about this situation

[bamesjond0069]

Just leave. Letting a woman treat you like that the rest of your life will turn you into a little mousey wimp of a man eventually with all the life sucked out of him.

Don't whine or cry or try this or that. Just say "I don't accept you as someone worth a relationship because a girl worth my time wouldn't do that. Goodbye"

It's on her to beg and plead and offer you a free pass and apologize if she wants you back. If she doesn't do it then she really doesn't want you back and that's that. Move on.

[WellEndowedinNJ]

In my opinion, with all due respect, when he pops up again, act 100% normal, say what's up dude and then BAM kick his FU (KING A$$. Don't kill him, not comas but beat the living $hit out of him. Send him home is crazy shock, in crazy fear, with a fat lip, swollen face, black yes, bloodied up to where everyone that sees him for at least a week looks at him and says, "Holy $hit man, what happened to you?". The thought will no longer be what he did but they will now be about hot he got his F-ing A$$ kicked and now he's just a little bit (h.

[Guffrus]

You are a fucking moron and belong in a prison.

Or preferably go and kill yourself.

[Anonymous]

Sadly, there are also issues where the couple could no longer resolve, thus leading to the end of their relationship. Does she deserve you? Do breakup.

[KrakenAttackin]

You have a baby with her? Fuck. First, get a paternity test NOW, they are inexpensive and over the counter..

If she cheats once she will cheat again. Fact.

Focus on being a good Dad (assuming the child is yours). Do NOT marry this woman under any. Circumstances.

[AviatorTom]

You can't change the past. Either accept it or move on from it.

Only you can decide which one to do.

[dustybiker]

Why are you still calling her your girlfriend. I would move on.

[Guy13]

Nasty…sorry but 🤢

[Steamnir]

Leave that girl, she's too weirdo for you

[worldscolide]

She cheated on you. Tell her to fuck off.