What would you choose: Freedom or Love?

Question

"I demand unconditional love and complete freedom. That is why I am terrible" I was scrolling on Pinterest (don't judge) and I found this quote by Tomaz Salamun. I've noticed that a lot of ambitious characters, maybe even people in real life, end up neglecting their relationships in the pursuit of their goals. I'm not sure if the two things are mutually exclusive, if you have to sacrifice one to wholeheartedly pursue the other. In person, I've also heard of people (usually young) saying they want to chase their goals before settling down. This is my interpretation of the quote at least. People can love and be free in other ways too, I know.  If you had to choose: Freedom or love?

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

At a young age I choose love, but in order to ensure the freedom you want in life you have to set goals and work super hard to achieve them. I am talking about finacial freedom, retirement, lifelong security. At times it can be super hard to have both. But then again if they support you and you support them, and they truly love you and you love them then you should be able to work together.

"I demand unconditional love and complete freedom. That is why I am terrible"

The person that says this doesn't really know or understand what love is. They are just self-centered and selfish. Which is why they end with saying they are terrible... because they are incapable of loving anyone more then they love themselves. Love and Freedom are to interchangeable things, you can have both, but you have to place equal value on each of them... or the ONE will always outweigh the other.

It also alludes to the fact there is nothing unconditional about love, or freedom. Love like Freedom is transactional... there is always a price to be paid for each. So maybe he is saying he is not willing to pay any price for love, but he would pay any price for complete freedom... Because unconditional love is as conceptual as complete Freedom... meaning it doesn't really exist and in knowing that he is a terrible person.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

fortunately... I never had to choose between the two, and I was very selective and also very clear with my partners, I only go with exclusive and committed relationships

but these were not chains, these were no limitations, and these were not conditional demands from one another...

these were our free choices, we wanted to belong in a pair, a couple... that is also freedom, freedom of choice, of conviction, of commitment and dedication, it is something you from the heart, genuinely too

another big factor in my relationships were, individualism... and completeness, I do like partners with strong personalities, that can stand and be happy on their own too, that they do feel complete without me, so while they do complement me in a relationship they do not need me to complete them, and this is a GREAT thing to have because we will not become codependent... and then again, there is that freedom of choice, we do choose to give to other all of what we can, as much as we can, in the many ways we can give and also share, this is also love, the freedom of loving and giving genuinely was never ever taken away from us

Haha456 · Accepted Answer

sweetie, if you think finding romance is the secret to happiness. You are wrong. There are a lot of people who think marriage is some sort of blissful fairytale. Very few marriages end up that way. Its really not uncommon for married people to get lonely, vicious fights all the time, get yelled by their spouses, deal with improper spending behavior, dealing with their partner's flaws. Most people settle in marriage. They enjoy being with the person they're with at the end of the day, but it does not mean its anywhere close to being a fairytale.

And secondly, there is likely nobody that will ever give you unconditional love unless they're your parents.

swettannie · Accepted Answer

love of course

Guy13 · Answer

Without Agape, there is no freedom.

RavVid · Answer

I think it is rather mutually exclusive because fame and success requires a person to be driven. If you are driven to really good at something and spend as much time on becoming better then you simply won't have as much time to spend on a relationship.

You also won't have a balanced life if you are that driven nor a very enjoyable one

To demand unconditional love without giving the same back is egotistical and not likely to work out.

I'd go love and a balanced enjoyable life.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I am a bit selfish, hence freedom is what I choose.

As you question it, I believe very very few people are able to bring together the things that are so much different from each other. Your professional and personal life. Your career and family.

I would always get my own business right before helping others. I believe it to be the natural survival instinct, hence nothing wrong in it, from my perspective.

Hence securing my freedom is my top most priority at the moment.

SnowedIn · Answer

I would choose (and, in fact, did choose) love. You phrased this beautifully: " I'm not sure if the two things are mutually exclusive, if you have to sacrifice one to wholeheartedly pursue the other. " You're right: they're not mutually exclusive but, I don't believe they're ever in balance. It's a little like the rest of life. I love my wife and family and wouldn't trade them for anything but, yes, there were some freedoms that reverted to second place.

mobiusforniner · Answer

Interesting question, and philosophically provoking. Im impressed.

A friend and I fell in love with one another. For many reasons it could not be. At one point she said she felt "trapped".

I learned the painful life lesson that true love is letting go. Love is freedom, even if someone doesn't want it

xJeremyx · Answer

You cannot have complete "freedom" while having romantic love.

Romance and relationships require dedication and commitment. You cannot do what you did when you were single, because your life and body is not your own anymore, it also belongs to your partner. Decisions have to be made together with them, and not based on your own whim anymore.

I choose love because I want and need companionship. Although I have no idea who would choose me in the first place.

Anonymous · Answer

Do you know what is the opposite of freedom? It's slavery, confinement, captivity, being a hostage, opression, dictatorship. I fought my way out of these and paid a very high price for it and I'm not going to go back there to forfeit my hard earned most basic human right.

Dana223 · Answer

pursuing big goals in my opinion are often mutually exclusive with family life. Depends. Always set your goals rationally and timebox. I would choose freedom though.

Agape93 · Answer

Freedom. I can live without love, but life is not worth living with a boot on your neck

melanieeeB · Answer

Freedom, I want to be free as a human, I want to be financially free and I want to be free in my relationships

Adaeva · Answer

Of course freedom should come first. You can always find love but once lost, freedom is gone forever.

YourFavoriteFriend · Answer

If you don't feel more free when you are in love, then you are doing something wrong... μία σχέση

Sixgunsound · Answer

I find that I am motivated by my relationship and children to do things I wouldn't do for myself alone.

pewter_moon · Answer

Can’t take freedom with you. So the choice is simple for me.

exitseven · Answer

I am a big fan of love but I will choose freedom.

fonduegirl · Answer

You can have both, as long as your partner values the same freedom as you.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I would choose LOVE!! 😍 I just wouldn't get into a relationship with someone who makes me feel caged.

Heolurt · Answer

Love doesn't exist, never been shown it in any way in my life, but I've had freedom and I'm content with keeping the freedom.

Anonymous · Answer

They are not a logical dichotomy no matter how you try to contort it.

PainusNdeeAnus · Answer

Freedom because as a man we handle loneliness much better than women

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Freedom. Without freedom life seems no point to live.

Nominal · Answer

Freedom. But, girls are not equal, girls are not same.

lovevengeance · Answer

Let's be honest: love is all I care about now that my crush has been stolen

eagle1951 · Answer

freedom. because without freedom it's hard to find love

CA4444 · Answer

Yeah I want both two…

Nikki1989 · Answer

Love always wins for me.

Noahzaid · Answer

You just loco.

USLegionary · Answer

Define freedom. Freedom to f other people?

Anonymous · Answer

They are the same, one, thing.

lilyanony1 · Answer

Love

Bre_0611 · Answer

Freedom

MissMam · Answer

FREEDOM!

Anonymous · Answer

I choose freedom, I can find love later.

Jennz6 · Answer

Love

Alex8736 · Answer

freedom

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Freedom!

In_Trance · Answer

Freedom

What would you choose: Freedom or Love?

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