How would you feel if your ex died?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

My wife's first long-term boyfriend died exactly nine years. It's something that hit me very much because he was one of my few male friends and kind of a "big brother" to me, and although my wife wasn't too keen on it I keep his picture in the memorial corner in the living room.

Nonetheless she still agreed to accompany me to his grave like we do every year on the anniversary of his disappearance.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have had relationships with a few women who were older than me; one of them was 18 years older than me. I don't maintain contact with any exes so I don't know if they are still alive, but I expect that at least one them could be dead by now.

If I learned that one of them had died, I would feel some sadness, some regret, some nostalgia for my past. . . but life would go on!

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

"Life goes on" is the same thing my wife says. She says I worry too much about the past and people who aren't there anymore, although she doesn't say it as often to me or my mother after recent events.

[lightbulb27]

"disappearance"? Sounds like you had more compassion/empathy for him than your wife. Maybe you are the sensitive one.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

@lightbulb27 perhaps, but she has this philosophy of not caring too much about deceased people, she says the living are the ones that really need her.

[lightbulb27]

I see that. So her mind works in the present existence. She has her reasons for feeling that way either in experiences or personality. You have your reasons. It's ok both ways, as long as you aren't holding onto the past and regrets.
I can relate to you and how you think/reflect. your wife sounds like my wife. I don't know you well enough to know the patterns are the same.

[TenderFantasy]

I don't know. I used to feel bad if the hypothetical ever happend but that last time I gave him another chance and he fucked it up, I'm not quite sure how I'd feel to be honest.

Sometimes, I'd wonder how HE would feel if I kicked the bucket... However, considering how he treated me that last time we were together, I don't know if I'd feel too positively about him missing me or feeling bad about it sadly.

I feel I was too optimistic that last time, hence why I gave him another chance, despite the fact that he's insulted me, physically hurt me plenty of times (abused me), AND psychologically harmed me as well. It's something I'd rather put in the past because it's not healthy to be thinking about someone who treated me badly and took me forgranted!

[Anonymous]

My ex did die. He went on a solo vacation, didn't know how to swim, and ended up drowning in the hotel pool. It was a deep cut to our friend group as all of us had known each other since high school. I was more sad for our friends and his mom (he was an only child). They hung out with him far more than I ever did after we broke up which was like four years prior. It was crazy walking into this reunion of all the high school and college friends under such a bad circumstance, but it felt good to know he was loved. Our friend group always says I love you when we leave, so before his trip, everyone said it, so there were no regrets.

[Twalli]

I can kill them anytime I wish, they all have the last name. jpg or. png. Fairly easy to kill them and nobody misses you. If you mean people who tried to date me that I turned down. I don't know who they are at all. I think one lives in West Virginia, based on her phone's area code, but I never talked to her once she made it clear she was looking for a boyfriend. Another is (I think) in Chicago, but besides asking me to cheat on my girlfriend, and for over $100, I know nothing else about her.

[AviatorTom]

I feel sad. A woman I dated for a few months died... about a year after we broke up. I was sad, but knew that we brought each other some happiness during the months we dated.

[Summeroflove]

Someone dying is always sad no matter who it is.

[melanieeeB]

Pretty sad! At some point they were a part of my life for a reason and we parted for a reason too but I don't hate them and I don't wish them any bad🙏🏼

I think it's pretty cool that your wife and you visit his grave every year🙏🏼

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thanks.
We try to do it with all out friends and relatives that passed on.

[Agape93]

I would desecrate the remains and ensure he's damned. Then, I'm going to go home, drink, cry and hope I feel some peace at last.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

He must have hurt you pretty bad...

[Agape93]

He's why I'm like how I am. My anger, my depression, my anxiety, all of it. He broke me.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I'm really sorry about that. He must be a real piece of work.

[Agape93]

That's putting it mildly.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

At least you are with good people now.

[libsaretards]

Depends on which one.

If it was my first ex, it would hit me pretty hard. She was my first true love and I'd be lying if I said I got completely over her. I don't know where she is now, but I always imagine and hope she is doing well. Given how we lived life, I expect I'll die before she does.

My second ex I could care less about. She cheated on me and almost cost me a career I loved. If I went to her funeral it would be to cheer because the world is better without her.

[smartasschick]

I know how you feel and I have been through something like this as well. My ( now Ex) passed away on August 28,2020.
We were together for 10 years when he suddenly passed right on front of my face and no matter what I did I could not save him.. I also celebrate the day he went to heaven. It's still hard to deal somedays with the loss of someone who was such a huge part of my life. I know now that it wasn't my fault he could not be saved and I spent years beating myself up with all the what if's and such.. but I know I have a angel watching over me and all I can do to make it easier is doing something everyday to make him and myself proud. I will forever miss him and no one could take his place but I know he would want me to be happy and have love on my life.. I am so thankful I had him as long as I did that's for sure...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I would feel terrible. I still love him and he’s so young and full of life.

Plus, It hurts knowing there won’t be his grave to go to cause he’ll be cremated according to the traditions of his country.

I hope he will live long enough to realize he made a very big mistake. Because he really did.

[Sour-rose]

May he be at peace... aaand it was likely anyways. He did stay out late and came to school with black circles around his eyes.

[NathanDavis]

just the thought at reading the question is awful enough

they're my friends, though

[Anonymous]

Same as anyone, it's tragic. But knowing what I know of her my first assumption would be it was alcohol related. So while I feel bad it happened, it's not like we didn't see it coming. You can't save people from themselves when they're bent on destruction.

[Sorrento-Sun]

I'd feel nothing for him, because he was very abusive. But my heart would go out to his family, because they love him. So I'd feel sad for their sake, but not for my own

[FunkyMonkee]

Probably a bit sad but, for the most part, I don't know that I'd care very much.

[Anonymous]

Respect for you man, that is really nice. I am not sure how I would feel depends on the ex'es some were total shit.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thanks. He was a good friend and a cool guy and I still miss him.

[Opinion Owner]

I feel sorry for you. Hmm I won't be ever able to grasp the concept of dead, I am so used to the people around me that if someone died I just imagine they went in a really nice vacation somewhere very far away.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Sometimes I think that too, but other times I get a bit depressed.
Last year I also lost my father and my sister in quick succession, and it's something I'm still metabolizing.
I find strenght in taking care of my wife, my children and my family.

[Chazmatazz269]

I’d feel bad about any of them. I’d feel deeply for the family and friends of them all. I’d mourn a few.

[DizzyDesii]

It would hurt a little since I can't just forget the good moments with each guy. But im not gonna ball my eyes out nor attend the funeral

[SweetTwistedSatanist]

"A toast for the dead already, and hurrah for the first to die."

[CallmeTheKnight]

The past is the past. I'm not gonna be moved by them dying unless they had a significant positive impact on my life or if someone murdered them then that would make me very uneasy and grief stricken

[Andres77]

Which one?

im friends with the first one again, at a distance. I’d be sad.

2nd one, I wish no harm on her but the world would be more peaceful without her existence.

[Juxtapose]

Sad, none of them were monsters that deserve death.

[exitseven]

I don;t really know. I suppose I would be sad. A female friend of mine was murdered 30 years ago and it still haunts me.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Even for the ones that did me bad, I think I'd feel upset about their death.

[Phoenix98]

I don't really think I'd feel anything to be honest.

[alcorriher]

dont have an ex, but would go pay respects to the family etc. and get on with my life

[Anonymous]

I'm not feeling sad for a lying gold digger passing away...

Anyway, what's next on my schedule? Ah, it's late already. Gotta go to bed. Night, night.

[Caramelpie]

I wouldn’t care because he is not worth remembering or feeling sad for. I’m sure his other victims would agree with me too on that too.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I would feel very saddened. I love all of my romantic ex-partners.

[LiamJHayden]

I've had two pass, both in car accidents. It is sad. They were both great girls.

[Hardworkingguy]

I honestly wouldn't care. She was a horrible person so it would make no difference to me

[TrueConfection]

I'd feel sad because he's still young.

[LemiaOfThunder]

Which ex first or second?

[LimitedBenefits101]

Everyone dies.

[jamesgoldman]

Bereft

[Jmmmfi4]

Sorry... that I didn't get to watch

[TJones96t]

don't wanna happen that way

[Anonymous]

I might show some sympathy.

[Anonymous]

I would dance a jig.

[Danny_dan92]

Oh well

[LavLavLuv]

Sadness!☹️