Would you keep talking to a person who has demoted you?

[libraboy]

Would you keep talking to a person from whom you aren't getting what you want?

Who isn't making you feel the way she initially did?

Who was once so warm in her replies, and now she's so cold?

Who once said her sorry every now and then, whenever she felt that she ignored you or delayed her replies, but now she doesn't bother to say her sorry even once even if she replies to you after 2-3 days?

Who once understood your silence and cared for it and asked you if you were mad at her, but now she doesn't bother asking you even once?

Would you still talk to them?

P. S. this question is for both genders.

[kylee2437]

I think it depends. I’m currently in that boat with someone however he’s been sick and went on vacay the week before, but we are getting into the time period where we have kind of just been texting with no set plans , which is annoying. He mentioned Wednesday we can do something but if things go unplanned/ plans cancel , I’m going to move on as I’m not getting what I would like and a person acting hot and cold is a sign that they aren’t ready for a serious relationship. Even then if I meet with him on Wednesday , I am going to mention that I am looking for something serious

[Chaddi]

There are two basic avenues of approach, the best might be to ignore it completely and then subtly hint that you should do something together or talk about something from the early days before you became a punished corporal. This will probably re-anchor the previous state and you'll run fine. This is especially good in the first tack to handle something wrong with you I'm willingly committed if it's your fault. If you don't know and you're introspective enough to ask in a forum like this it's probably something that's happened in their lives that you didn't learn about. It's their increased self-esteem auto leveraging. It is also not necessarily a good thing it could be that a parent or favorite relative has passed. In this case play the therapist just say you know there's something a little different about you is something happened is there something I should know or is there anything I can do? But unfriending them is ridiculous it's hard enough to find good help these days :-)

[libraboy]

Thanks for the detailed reply. And no I haven't unfriended her. I just haven't replied to her 2-3 cold messages which she sent me after 3 days of waiting. The message I sent was a complaint to her for ignoring my previous messages. I have communicated so much. Actually, she deactivated her social media accounts and I don't have her WhatsApp, I somehow got her email address and asked her what went wrong, to which she replied: "don't worry I'll be back, something happened, and I'll share with you after deactivating my accounts after 2-3 days."

So when she came back, she acted kinda busy, she was uploading stories, and meeting her female friend who arrived from a different city, and she was also in a different (nearby) city, but still, everything was going fine as I could see her stories and Facebook posts. She just replied me very coldly that she will talk to me later.

Then I sent her a message which she saw and ignored the whole day. That's when I complained to her and said that you're uploading your stories, doing everything, meeting friends, and yet haven't replied the whole day to my message despite knowing that it's already been 3 days, and I'll be waiting for your message.

Guess what? She again saw that message, didn't reply to me, and half an hour later again uploaded a story. Then she replied after 3 days, "hey I've been very busy, just returned to my city yesterday".

I was so upset after seeing her cold replies that I didn't talk to her. Then after 3 more days, she again messaged me (after seeing my photos on my Facebook story): " Can we talk?"

I still haven't replied to her. And it's been almost two weeks, and she hasn't bothered to ask me why I'm silent, why I'm not replying to her.

So that was the reason of my question on GaG.

[Chaddi]

Always watch your tone with a woman what you say matters sometimes even less than how you say it

[Chaddi]

The table of tremendous forgiveness is theirs not ours almost anything you do. But that doesn't apply to what you say.

[mobiusforniner]

Your first statement already says more about yourself then about any other person. You shouldn't approach a relationship as a trade- as a hope of getting what you want from another person. People are free agents; their actions and behaviors deeply rooted within their own psychology. To simply dismiss a person because you can't "get what you want from them" demonstrates a contemptible lack of understanding.

The better question to be asked is "why is this person behaving differently around me and what can I do to help them".

Recognize, in some cases, your best way in helping them is letting go.

[libraboy]

A relationship is always a trade of emotions. There are therapists and psychiatrists to help you out, the only help you may get from a person you're in a relationship with is reciprocation. The core purpose of a relationship is to have intimacy with each other. Intimacy here means both emotional and physical comfort.

[Assi2k]

Write a letter to her explaining how you feel. Don’t give it to her. Burn it.

In it, explain in detail how you feel and don’t hold back. Then, explain how you want things to be.

Now write a second letter responding to the first letter as if you were her. Acknowledge the pain she caused you and apologize and make amends.

Once you’re done, let go of the hurt and ask her for what you need. Don’t forget to burn the letters!

[libraboy]

WoW! Nice idea. But what if instead of the letters, I say those things over Tiktok?

[Assi2k]

@libraboy The burning of the letters is a very important part of the method

[mobiusforniner]

I did that. Except I gave her the letter.

[Pegases]

Women that want you, reciprocate energy. Don't waste your time with women that have gone cold with you. A lot of women have a hard time telling men they are no longer interested, and instead of being upfront about it, will simply pull back their affection and hope you remove yourself from the picture. That's often how women avoid conflict. So do yourself a favor, and keep it moving. Doesn't mean you have to hate her or anything, but dont overlook the signs of a woman that is no longer interested. Time to move on.

[libraboy]

That's such a wise thing you said. I think the same about women. That they don't tell you that they're no longer interested no matter how many times you ask them to be brutally honest.

And yeah, again very rightly said, we don't have to hate them. Just understand it's a human thing.

[SexyRedd1966]

Yes I would move on... I'm not going to be with someone who doesn't reply for two or three days, come on it only takes 5 seconds to send a text... I used to have this guy like that and I would say, you aren't the president, you're not that busy... if they really like you, they will make you the priority

[libraboy]

Thanks, I guess that's what I needed to hear. Past few days have been so fucking hard. I guess I'll have to choose to suffer alone and heal on my own no matter if it takes years.

[SexyRedd1966]

Yes heal yourself don't jump into anything right now because you're not ready I took a two-year hiatus after a toxic relationship and let me tell you it was very enlightening

[libraboy]

Alright, thank you so much!

[XHopelessRomanticX]

I think, at some point, I would eventually give up. There’s nothing there anymore. If I keep giving everything, and there’s nothing given in return, pretty soon they’ll be nothing left for me to give.

[libraboy]

Yeah so fucking true!

[Anonymous]

I show people the respect they show me. I do my best to take ego out of relationships with people and respond off substance. I don't get offended, I just respond accordingly.

[driven159]

when people act like that time to cut them loose no time for that BS

[Fuentes]

Lol no never they would be dumped

[serious_miss419]

There’s always two sides.

[libraboy]

What do you mean? Could you please explain?

[serious_miss419]

Yes, you’re only saying one side of this of how she is behaving. Women don’t just check out for nothing.

[libraboy]

Well, there's nothing wrong from my side. If there was, I could have mentioned that in detail. There's no reason to hide your faults here in this app as you come here to seek some sort of help.

[WhitneySnow]

Probably not

[Anonymous]

Nope.

[libraboy]

Thanks for the reply. Tell me what would you do if you still miss them terribly? If you feel their absence and feel like not doing anything? If their thoughts ruin your day and your work is also suffering?

[jeremynicols]

Nahh