Help needed desperately?

[Anonymous]

Awhile back, I dm’ed a guy from school that I thought he was cute and I asked if we could be friends and he said sure. I’ve only talked to him twice (the other time he complimented me on my drumming after a pep rally.)

My problem is that I’m really shy and quiet around people I don’t know well or people that I like and I’m trying to fix it. We do have one thing in common and that’s music, but regardless I still kind of just walk past him instead of saying hi. (I tried once but he didn’t see me)

Are there any ways I can find something to talk about or how I can find a different approach rather than being bold ig? (We r also in the same grade)

[SnowedIn]

You've already nailed the really difficult one: connecting with him. He's already noticed your drumming at the pep rally.

I'd encourage you also to continue saying hi to him. And, even easier? Make eye contact. That doesn't require you to walk right up to him and you can even do it from across the room.

Then, you've already nailed another difficult one: you have his DM. Just ask him how his day was and take the conversation from there. Initially, that saves you from having to walk up to him but it builds a connection with him.

As for ideas of what to talk about, talk about drumming or your grade or any classes you share or the silly principal of your school. But, I'm going to paste below an answer I gave to someone else. In it you may find some helpful hints.

Finally, @guy13 answer is great!

"I'll talk specific and then I'll talk general. And, yes, my profile age is correct so if you ask my sons, I'm an old man and don't know anything. But I'm not as dumb as they think I am. I think.

What I'm about to write covers lots of guys. But not all. I'll get to that point later. Guys like sports. Cars. School. Music. YouTube. TV. Movies. FOOD! Games. But most also like animals (cats, dogs, hamsters, etc.). Camping. Ice skating. American Football. Soccer. Others like drawing, theatre, or books. Still others are band/orchestra or chorus.

So, the key to talking to them is twofold: show them you're interested and ask them questions. People want other people to be interested in them. Always (that'll be true throughout life). Ask them questions. But don't make them "yes" or "no" questions. Make them ones that he can answer easily and build upon what he tells you. "What do you think of math?" "Math sucks!" "So what do you like?" "history?" "Do you read a lot?" "No, reading sucks too. I'd rather skateboard." "I've never done that. What's it like?" And go from there. You don't have to know all about the topics -- the goal is to build a connection. But if you do know, then all the better. Maybe you both go to church together or you both draw or whatever.

Another way/idea is to talk about you and make HIM ask questions. Make him want to learn about you. "I'm scared of sailing." "Why?" "When I was 8 my dad threw me off a dock to learn to swim." "So, like, are you scared of the water or something?" "I guess so. But it's more around boats." "Well, do you like to swim anyway?" "I do like to swim!" "Yeah, me too; I'm on the swim team." And then you're back to being able to ask him questions and make a connection.

The classic "What do you like" connected to anything is always a good conversation starter or rejuvenator.

"Have you seen this video?" is another and then show them whatever it is. The conversation will take off, generally, and follow down the rabbit hole of YouTube.

Bottom line, be interested (and interesting) and ask questions that require answers that aren't yes or no."

[SnowedIn]

Thank you for MHO!

(And, please ignore all the disagrees/dislikes... they are a cute fan club. smh)

[Guy13]

Stay in his vision. Be 30 feet away. Smile at him. He’ll notice you seem to be around a lot.