Am I bad for doing this?

[Anonymous]

So this girl I've been seeing for a little while now has caught feelings for me. She told me she's in love and has begun to use terms of endearment like "baby" and "my love".

I honestly don't feel the same way yet, but I didn't want to humiliate her so I've kinda been going along with it, hoping I'll catch feelings eventually too.

Am I stringing her along? I know I screwed up. Maybe I should just be honest. I don't wanna break her heart though.

[Anonymous]

Yes you are stringing her along.
It's a pretty common theme for females to develop deep attraction first while guys typically take longer to develop that same level of attraction. It also depends on how long you've been talking/together. If its been months (6+) I'd probably say it's safe to assume you're never going to feel that with her. If it's only been days or weeks then give it a bit more time.
If you're not feeling it, you should have an honest conversation with her and tell her exactly what you told us. That you care about her and you are attracted to her (I assume) but you dont feel confident enough in the relationship yet to commit on a deeper level. You need a bit more time to get to know her on a more personal level or to process your own emotions/feelings. Let her know that you're not comfortable YET with pet names and you'd like to get to know her better as a person first. Tell her you'd like to go out with her more or spend more quality time with her. Also actively try to have deeper conversations with her so you can really figure out who she is and if that fits well with who you are and who you want in a partner. Be as honest but as gentle as possible with this. Most importantly, write out what you want to say beforehand and NEVER go back on what you said otherwise it will create confusion which will probably lead to an argument. Be firm in your boundaries.
Telling someone that you don't feel the same way they do can always be tricky and painful. It's not so much that she'd feel humiliated but moreso she'd feel a bit rejected. You should fully expect her to be upset about it but if she genuinely cares and wants to further the relationship she will get over it and understand that you're trying to communicate honestly with her. If she's mature she will realize that you're trying to create a genuine relationship with her and she will respect you more for that in the end. Let her know that if she needs a bit of space or time to process that then you will give her what she needs and let her take the lead after the conversation. Give her a few days and try reaching out again. Respect whatever decision she makes. And again, if it goes past about 6 months and you're still not sure, you should probably just tell her that and end it. We all deal with heart break in life, it's normal. She'll get over it.

[Asker]

You're right. That's fantastic advice, and some genuine wisdom. I appreciate you taking the time to think about this and write all that. Thank you 🙏

[midnightcavern01]

At least you recognise that you're not in the relationship the same way she wants. In my opinion, if you're not in it then you have to end it. Your feelings may end up feeling forced or you may grow resentment for the relationship going on so long. Don't worry, she'll cry and scream for a while but you'll both be better off

[Asker]

You got a point there