I got pregnant two years ago by a casual fling he decided he didn’t want to be around and was disrespectful towards me. I let him be?

[Anonymous]

I want my child to know her grandparents. And I want them to know they have a grandchild on this earth. Should I contact them?

Updates

+1 y

My child is now two years old.

Updates

+1 y

Should I contact his parents?

[Anonymous]

It is understandable that you would want your child to know their grandparents and for them to be aware of their grandchild's existence. However, before reaching out to them, it may be helpful to consider the reasons why they have not been involved in your child's life thus far. It is possible that they may not be interested in having a relationship with you or your child, or there may be other factors at play that you are not aware of.

If you do decide to reach out to them, it may be helpful to approach the situation with an open mind and without any expectations. It is important to communicate your intentions clearly and respectfully, and to be prepared for any response, whether positive or negative. It may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor to help you navigate this situation and process any emotions that may arise.

Ultimately, the decision to reach out to your child's grandparents is a personal one, and you should do what feels right for you and your child. Remember to prioritize your own well-being and happiness, as well as that of your child, above all else.

[Asker]

Hi the reason they’re not involved is because they don’t know. My child’s father decided he didn’t want to be involved so I let him be. Now my child is growing I’m in a dilemma. I guess we’ve done okay so far so maybe I don’t need to reach out. I don’t know lol.

[Opinion Owner]

Whether or not to contact your child's father's parents is a personal decision that only you can make. If you believe that it is important for your child to have a relationship with their grandparents, then it may be worth reaching out to them and letting them know about your child. However, you should also consider the potential consequences of doing so, such as your child's father becoming involved again or the grandparents not being receptive to the idea.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to prioritize your child's well-being and do what you feel is best for them. If you believe that having a relationship with their grandparents would bring positive benefits to your child's life, then it may be worth taking the risk and reaching out to them. However, if you are unsure or uncomfortable with the idea, then it is okay to continue raising your child without involving their father's family.

[slatyb]

You should definitely file for support if you haven't already. And yes, you should contact the grandparents.

[Screenwriter]

Do you have DNA tests to prove this child is his? Why would his parents believe the child is their son's? Have you contacted this guy to get the grandparents' contact info?

I think these people might be shocked to hear from a woman they don't know about a grandchild they didn't know existed, and could be suspicious that you want something from them. What about your parents? Aren't they involved?

I'm having trouble with this because since he flew the coop and hasn't paid you child support or done anything for you or the child, why do you think his parents would want to be involved? It sounds more mercenary than familial. I'm trying to put myself in their place. I have a son who, as far as I know, has not fathered any children.

If a woman called me up telling me I have a 2 year old grandchild out of the blue, why should I believe her? And why would I want to be involved if I have no proof of his parentage? You see the problem?

[Asker]

He does pay child support please don’t make assumptions and a dna has been done.

[Asker]

This was all done through child support service in the UK

[Asker]

What exactly would I want from them? They’re not rich.

[Screenwriter]

Also, I'm not in any financial situation to help her. And emotionally, it would take me a long time to want to be involved. Not a pretty picture in any case. But, on the other hand, they might be gung ho thrilled. I'm just telling you MY reaction.

[Asker]

Hi of course but why would you not want to know your grandchildren. So what would you advise? To just leave it be so when my child gets older she’ll have the choice to contact them or not?

[Asker]

Obviously I’m not looking for financial help I don’t need them for that. It would be great if my child could have a relationship with them. My parents live across the world. So I don’t see them as much.

[Asker]

*on the other side of the world

[Screenwriter]

Hon, I'm going by what you initially said. I'm in US. If you say guy isn't around, that usually means he skipped out and does not pay child support and usually most folk here don't do DNA tests unless they go to court and this costs money. UK does this better.

[Screenwriter]

So they DO know about the child. Well then contact them and ask them if theyd like to meet her. Maybe they were waiting for you. Good luck.

[Asker]

No he’s a 31 year old man who lives in a different city from his parents. So no they don’t know about her. He just pays child support because the government take money from his wages.

[Asker]

It does cost money to do a DNA test. But you would still need to pay child support unless he proves he’s not the father with a DNA test.

[Screenwriter]

Wow. He's never told them, for sure? That is odd. But you have info to contact them. Then go for it. All they could say is no. Tell them he's paying child support and it's been proven the child is his, but he has no involvement in her life and your feelings about her having local relatives, if possible. Ball will be in their court.

[Daniela1982]

I hope you are getting child support. It will cost about $200,000 - $300,00 to raise a kid to age 18. If you are working child care will take most of your money.

[Asker]

Yes I am.