Relationship and Tinder problems. Should I talk or should I just leave?

[Leticia001]

Hello everyone, so recently I found a message to my boyfriend from Tinder which says: Thank you for your Gold Tinder purchase ( it was a date, price, confirmation code, expiration date)... I still did not say anything and it's been a while. Should I start to talk before I will leave or just should I pack my things and go? Thank you for answers

Updates

1 y

If I will talk I know already what he gonna say. In the beggining he will be defensive. After one day he will say that it's a spam. Before me he had Tinder and they still sending advertising messages or emails. But it was Gold membership purchase. 13 days ago...

Updates

1 y

If anybody interested how this story ended up... So I told him that I know everything, of course he became very defensive ( from his reaction I actually understood that he might knew that I know everything. Probably noticed my weird behaviour and noticed that he forgot to delete those emails from tinder). And of course he said that he purchased this not for himself, but for somebody else. And like he said: it's none of my bussiness what he is buying for his friend :)

[PrettyPriya]

Well, it does seem like you have made up your mind to leave him. That is a wise decision because it seems as if it was certain he was going to at least put himself out there to see what he could get. I would leave too.

Now, as to whether to talk or not? That is really a personal decision and not right answer. I think that is just going to lead to an argument and nothing constructive will come of it. If it were me, I would just pack my stuff when he was not around and leave, along with leaving a note or something saying you know about the Tinder and that is why you decided to move on.

Talking is not going to solve anything in my opinion. It will either be some argument or him trying to talk his way out of it. If the latter, it will likely be a bunch of lies that just further proves you should leave him. I suppose there would be some closure from it, but honestly not worth it in my opinion. Good luck to you.

[Leticia001]

Just day after I found out he was acting very weird. I came back from work veeery tired and of course sad. And said let's go to bed. So I was just laying on the side and trying to sleep and he was sweet and nice like never before. Saying I love you bla bla bla, my love will never go away. Like he felt that I found our everything. Because mostly even for small things I am getting very mad and starting to tell , never waiting.. this time I am very silent

[PrettyPriya]

I am sure the silence is because of not knowing what to say. I mean, really... what can you say about this? You were betrayed by someone that is supposed to protect you. I totally understand how hard this must be.

[Leticia001]

Yes that's true. All I can say is: I know you have Tinder. And that's it. I have nothing to say or I don't have any questions to ask. Only maybe one question : how long it's like this ( because this membership was for one month) and should I check for venereal diseases because who knows with who he was hooking up...

[PrettyPriya]

Gosh, that isn't the worst idea to get checked since he could be hooking up. I probably would too. This situation sucks. I feel for you.

[Leticia001]

Yes it really sucks...

[PrettyPriya]

Well, if you need to vent, you can vent away to me. I totally understand. 😞

[Leticia001]

Plus I don't think actually I will be able to stay silent till I leave. Because he just called me, coming back from work and talking nicely, saying I love you, I miss you, I am in hurry, I had a very bad day at work... and I have nothing to say to him to that also

[MzAsh]

You know you can’t trust him. However, when he asks what you’re doing, I wouldn’t hold back. He needs to live with the consequences of his actions and understand that it’s his fault.

[noohair]

I would ask him what he is looking for on Tinder that he can't find with you.
Then you know what to do.

[Leticia001]

Thank you for oppinion

[D_Bone_Steak]

Ouch... sorry for your loss. That is one shitastic way to find out the true intentions of a partner.

[Leticia001]

Thank you. It's okay now. I am sad but I need to move on. Just "funny" thing is, first boyfriend which I had for 3 years , also cheated on me with Tinder.
Now this one after 5 years...

[D_Bone_Steak]

I couldn't respond when you first wrote this because my account got frozen...

What I would like to say is to look for patterns. Stuff that keeps repeating. Sometimes it is best to not look outward for reasons things happen to us but maybe look inward.

With that said, if this cheating on you with Tinder is such a thing... start asking yourself questions. Did you meet them on Tinder or other online sites? What kind of men are you giving access to you... what kind are you denying access? That kind of stuff.

MHO's are picked so I'm not trying to win anything by saying this. Just my honest advice.

[Leticia001]

Hey, thanks for oppinion. Yes I understand your point of view and I kinda agree with you. I am not 15 years old to make all the time wrong choices when choosing people. We didn't meet on Tinder or any other dating site. About the signs. Yes you right. I was thinking about that and I don't need to go somewhere years back, in the past 5 months some very very small signs was showing for me that something is wrong. This is how I ended up finding out about Tinder. I told him if he is unhappy with me - it's sad, but it's fine. Maybe someone else out there can make him happy, but he just needs to be honest with me and leave me. I don't understand the point of being him with me if he is clearly unhappy and started to use Tinder...

[FreyaRed]

There is nothing to talk about anymore. He wants to cheat you accept it or you go separate way. Talking will look like "please don't cheat on me" and it will change anything.

[DaKnow1]

In my eyes, you can do whatever you feel in this situation. Honestly, if I was you I wouldn't say anything cause he didn't either and cause u know he's gonna be defensive, lie, and ultimately, waste more time.

[Leticia001]

Yes. 100% first he will defend himself that it's just in my head. Second option will be he will say it's a spam emails which he is getting. Third option is that he will say he registered because he was assuming I am cheating so he was looking for me on Tinder :D

[Leticia001]

And it will just cause a huge drama and extra stress for me

[JamesDiaz11]

Tinder needs to work on their discretion for the guys who cheat...

[MzAsh]

And girls who cheat?

[JamesDiaz11]

@MzAsh The comment was tongue in cheek.

[Anonymous]

You're his girlfriend n he buying dates on tinder...
Are you dumb or don't have mind to understand situation?

[Leticia001]

Don't need to call dumb. I am leaving him. I am leaving the country on Friday to visit my relatives. My question was should I say to him anything or should I just leave and never come back

[DaKnow1]

U saying this this makes you sound dumb not her

[Anonymous]

Get out. The only reason to have a premium account is so that you don't miss anyone who likes your profile.

[Leticia001]

Thanks :(

[Opinion Owner]

You're welcome. I hope you find someone who is loyal.

[In_Trance]

Leave

[Leticia001]

If anybody interested how this story ended up... So I told him that I know everything, of course he became very defensive ( from his reaction I actually understood that he might knew that I know everything. Probably noticed my weird behaviour and noticed that he forgot to delete those emails from tinder). And of course he said that he purchased this not for himself, but for somebody else. And like he said: it's none of my bussiness what he is buying for his friend :)