Girls bisexual, in a monogamous relationship with a guy, don't you miss having a girl partner? Is it cheating to hook up with another female?

[OlderAndWiser]

I married a woman who told me that she had been bisexual earlier in her life, but then settled down with a guy for a marriage that lasted about 14 years. That ended in divorce and she said she was celibate until I came into her life. After dating and living together for 2 years, we got married, and everything was great. . . until she took a trip to visit friends 1,000 miles away at a time when I had to stay at home. She had a female "friend" who was travelling to the same general area, so they decided to travel together "for safety." My wife had a phobia of flying, so they traveled by train. And it was an overnight train trip so she asked for me to get "her" a sleeper cabin.

Ironic. The sleeper cabin that I was duped into paying for is the cabin where they fucked each other silly. She never told me about it but the other female blabbed to a mutual friend and I was then informed. Divorce ensued very quickly. So. . . you can guess that I have a bias about this situation and I dont need anyone to tell me what I should think or how I should feel about it. Don't do it!

The question is: if you are bisexual, sometimes you want a guy and sometimes you want a girl, so how do you deal with settling down with a guy and the idea that you will never be with another female? And if you start missing another female, do you think it is cheating to hook up with another girl while you are in a committed relationship with the guy?

[meetkitty123]

STRAIGHT FEMALE

Regardless of gender it would be cheating. I wouldn't be forgiving If I was with a man who had an affair with another man.

I can't speak for desiring another woman but I can speak for being a hypersexual. The condition can leave me rather sexually starved. This is rough If my fellow is not around. So what keeps me grounded and keeps me from eyeing other guys?

Simple I think of all the wonderful reasons I am with the man and I imagine the pain which would be caused or I think about how I'd feel if it was I who was cheated on.

[meetkitty123]

I have read many of the responses. And I AM sticking with my answer
IT'S CHEATING
Because the question clearly states
MONOGAMOUS
In a monogamous relationship there are no buts or what ifs the word clearly states in it's Definition

•involving marriage to one person at a time.
•having a sexual relationship with only one partner at a time.
•having only one mate at a time.

And I guarantee you when it states "one at a time" it does not mean HAVE AS MANY SEXUAL PARTNERS AS YOU WANT AS LONG AS ITS: one person in the bed at a time 🙄

As as the question is being asked then YES ITS CHEATING!

Now what I believe is tripping up other people is the idea of whether or not it was CLEARLY ESTABLISHED AND SPOKEN AND DECIDED (despite vows taken) amongst the two of you that this PARTICULAR marriage was closed not open but indeed monogamous...

I recall a wise man once said his online dating would not could not be considered cheating because he never verbally agreed to go steady with a pretty little lady he had a mild thing with... it was a subject never spoken about so therefore not cheating

So you being a wise man yourself @OlderAndWiser I'd trust you had this conversation with your ex wife before marrying her to ensure both you and she were on the same page in understanding you WERE expecting no less than a closed relationship and to be fully monogamous?

... ITs a bit EXCESSIVE I know... AND I DONT AGREE WITH IT... The idea of because one or neither person never said it wasn't an open relationship or because one or neither person never said they were going steady... therefore by default creates a loophole or an escape path to search for attention elsewhere... That's an uncool leverage.

But in this case or at least in a case of marriage were vows are taken it really should be more than obvious it was meant to be closed.

[Boomchakalaca]

Bisexual here, in a relationship with a guy of 5 years. U are right, some days i might be interested in tits then dick 😂. Sometimes i do feel like im missing out but if im with a girl id miss out on the man! It is a confusing situation but i am reminded of the things my partner does for me.
im gonna get into graphic details but i do like my tits sucked and any man or woman can do that so i rlly have no need for a woman to destroy what i have.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for the response!

[Boomchakalaca]

Np u got any more questions i hoped that cleared things up. Also it is cheating to be with another person than ur designated partner. I used to think differently in our early stage of relationship. I thought that my partner would love for me to be with another girl and kissing her cuz its hot. But even tho they think girl on girl is hot that isn't the case when they want to be in a committed loving relationship

[OlderAndWiser]

Exactly. Nobody wants to think that they are inadequate to satisfy their partner.

[Sophiagracie]

Firstly, it's important to recognize that everyone's experiences and desires are unique, and there is no one "right" way to experience attraction or be in a relationship. Some individuals may identify as bisexual, but still feel fulfilled and committed in a monogamous relationship with a person of a different gender than their other attractions. Others may feel that they need to explore relationships with multiple genders to feel fulfilled.

Regarding cheating, it's important to define what is considered acceptable behavior within the relationship. For some couples, engaging in sexual or romantic activities with people outside the relationship may be acceptable, as long as it's discussed and agreed upon beforehand. For others, any non-monogamous activity may be considered cheating. It's important for partners to have open and honest communication about their boundaries and expectations.

In any case, it's important to prioritize consent and respect for all parties involved. It's never okay to engage in sexual or romantic activity without clear and enthusiastic consent from all parties involved. Additionally, it's important to consider the emotional impact that these activities may have on all parties involved, and to communicate openly and honestly about any concerns or issues that arise.

Overall, there is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, and it ultimately depends on the individuals involved and the specific boundaries and expectations within their relationship. It's important to prioritize communication, consent, and respect for all parties involved.

[OlderAndWiser]

So, if you are bisexual, the question is "how do you deal with settling down with a guy and the idea that you will never be with another female?"

[Screenwriter]

Cheating means having relations, either emotional, sexual or both, with another person. It does not matter what sex the person is. You are depriving your relationship of the time and effort it takes to keep it healthy by being with someone who is not IN the relationship, and by doing it behind your SO's back. That is all cheating is about. Hence the word "cheat."

If someone is in love with someone else and decides to stay with that person monogamously because that person satisfies them sexually, emotionally and intellectually, most people don't miss being with someone else. Again, it doesn't matter what sex the SO is. Or what sexual orientation the first person is.

You can ask this same question of a straight woman: "Don't you miss being with other men?" The answer would be "No. You've made a choice to be faithful to one person because of love and loyalty."

For those who don't choose to live this way there is open marriage or polyamory.

[OlderAndWiser]

You didn't say whether you are bisexual.

[Screenwriter]

No, I didn't say, but my answer covers all bases.

[Koneko911]

I get a lot of people's idea with that. But I think it depends on the individual who's bisexual. Your wife unfortunately was just a cheater... her bisexuality had nothing to do with it. I'm bisexual but one partner is enough. I don't feel the need to have a female partner unless me and my boyfriend agreed on it and we both dated her. Just because a person likes both genders does not mean we need both at the same time. Any bisexual who tells you they need both just wants to cheat or have the best of both worlds and use their sexually as an excuse

[OlderAndWiser]

But maybe some bisexuals just have a high drive to have both men and women in their lfe and in their bed.

[Koneko911]

I disagree. Those people are just cheaters and use bisexuality as a way to do what they want

[CubsterShura]

All people are different, so are all bisexual people. I know a couple who are living together and have kids, and they are in a pretty happy marriage. The wife, however, does go out in the weekends and hooks up with girls. The husband is okay with it because "I can give her everything except that".

Of course it doesn't mean that all bisexual relationships have to be open. If you haven't agreed to be open then of course it is cheating to sleep with anyone else, guy or girl.

[KBird]

It depends on the discussed ‘parameters’ of the relationship I think. But personally, my boyfriend is bi, and if he were to see anyone, even if it was a guy, behind my back, then I would consider that cheating. I would be more lenient if he were to say “but I just wanted to try it. Or, I was craving it.” But I would still be pissed. He and I discussed this, but if he wants to try something with someone all he has to do is bring it up with me. I’d be open to it. Just keep me in the loop.

[DevikaButts95]

Well for me personally, although I guess it's worth noting my relationship is poly and also open Lmao, but like, I don't need attention from a guy ever again. I don't think I could ever be in a serious relationship with a dude again, so it'd be very easy for me to stay away from dudes if I settled for a non-open relationship.
As for whether its cheating, that depends solely if your partner is okay with it or not and if you go behind their back or not, and in your case, you clearly were not okay with it and they clearly went behind your back.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I only realized I was bisexual while in my current relationship. So I have never been with a woman. Of course if I was to go experiment while in a relationship that would be cheating.

Straight people, gay people, and bisexual people all have the same opportunity to cheat. You're in a relationship with someone, you agreed to be faithful to that person.

[Anonymous]

Um I don’t think my husband would see it as cheating if I got with another woman I mean he has watched me do that before but I can see that the lying about it in your situation made it much worse. I really prefer men just really enjoy being with a woman if it happens although it’s not something I look hard for I’m basically straight lol.

[Agape93]

When I was in one, I didn't miss it because I hadn't yet had a real one. But unless you're both ok with being non monogamous, it is cheating to hook up with anyone outside the relationship

[Kelly6]

I’m bi in relationship with guy, but on side I still meet girls

[OlderAndWiser]

Does he know you are hooking up with other women?

[Kelly6]

Yes he knows

[skyloves05]

Personally, yes. I do miss it. I have an open relationship with my current boyfriend since he's the exact same way and misses having sex with guys.

[OlderAndWiser]

I appreciate your honesty. Some bisexual users insist that being bisexual doesn't cause any extra challenges for them when they are in an opposite-sex relationship.

[Anonymous]

I have both and have done for years.