Ex friends with benefits asking me if I still like him?

[girlthatasks]

So I used to go out just as friends with benefits with a guy and now he is my friend only. He's asking me if I still like him, but the thing is, I have another pseudo/quasi relationship sort of similar to friends with benefits with another guy, and I want to keep it secret.

I still kind of like the 1st guy but a bit more as friends. He probably wants something since he is asking, but I feel like it's downright mean to just 'lead' him on and stop him from having new encounters and I'm clearly a hindrance and his unclarity about our relationship which I want to be just friends as of now (since I don't feel right having more than 1 friends with benefits/guy, obviously).

Please give me advice on how should I put this to him, even though I still like him, but I can't be selfish. Should I avoid telling him I like him, so that I don't get in his way of his love life? Please help.

[PrettyPriya]

I am a bit confused by what is really going on. I see you mention friends with benefits and now friend only. What is the other guy? Is he just a friend or is there sexual stuff going on? That is where my confusion lies. You can update using the update box if you so choose.

I will try to answer based on what I am assuming is happening, which is that you had a guy you used to sleep with and now he is just your friend. You have a new friends with benefits relationship with guy number two (involves sex) and you are having trouble finding a way to tell guy number one? Is that the scope of it?

If that is the situation, you do not have to tell your friend (guy one) as it is none of his business, friend or not. That is your personal business and whether you share things like that to friends is up to you. I honestly would not tell him about the guy you are sleeping with.

Now, if you are sleeping with both of them, then yeah he has a right to know because of STDs and such. You should all make sure you are sexually healthy before going further.

[girlthatasks]

I'm currently not sleeping with Guy1, only guy2. we have something casual going on and its like a friendship on the outside, the inside is secret to the public. When I cut off with guy1 it was clear to stay friends and THEN after that ended I happened to hook up with Guy2. I am not sleeping with both, since also, yes STDs too, but morally too I wouldn't want to have more than 1 guy, casual, or not. So I do have trouble telling guy1 since he came back after 3 months asking me if I still like him

[PrettyPriya]

Thanks for the extra info! So, I had it pretty much right it looks like. First, you are still under no obligation to tell guy one that you are sleeping with guy two. That is your private intimate life.

If he is asking if you still like him, you can simply say 'Yes, but only as friends'. You can follow that up with telling him that you really do enjoy the friendship with him.

[girlthatasks]

I do also like him as more than friends, but guy2 is a lot more fitting to me. I don't want to mess around with 2 at once though it feels wrong. and if I said yes, i like you but as friends only would be a lie. the truth is i like him as more than friends, but id rather and would choose to stay friends. and I saying I don't like you as more would be a blatant lie since he can tell i really do like him. Well?

[PrettyPriya]

Okay, so couple of things. You have to make a choice. As they say, you can't have your cake and eat it too. So, what is worse? Saying that you like him as just friends? Or say you like him more than friends and lead him to believe there is something there?

I think really you are not lying. You admit that while you like him, it can only be as friends right now. Just say that if you must. "I do have feelings for you, but at this moment, I think it is best we remain friends."

I still don't think telling him about guy 2 makes any sense as that is simply not his business when all you have is friendship, right? You will just be complicating things. Plus, it is obvious guy 1 likes you if he is asking if you have feelings for him. He wants validation.

Last thing is you are definitely doing the right thing by not sleeping with both of them. I think that would get awfully complicated.

[girlthatasks]

Yes, I agree with this. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your answers and replies. <3

[PrettyPriya]

You are most welcome! Enjoy your weekend. 🙂

[GreekLorrd]

It's important to be honest with your friend and let him know how you feel. It's understandable that you want to keep your other relationship secret, but leading him on or hiding your true feelings will only create more confusion and hurt in the long run.

You can let him know that you enjoy spending time with him and value his friendship, but that you don't see a romantic relationship between you two right now. You can also reassure him that he's free to pursue other relationships and that you don't want to hold him back in any way.

It's important to communicate clearly and respectfully, while also being mindful of his feelings. Ultimately, it's up to him to decide how he wants to proceed, but being open and honest is the best way to approach the situation.

[girlthatasks]

Thank you so much, mister. I appreciate your reply!

[Wise4myage]

Their is nothing with sleeping with both guys, if that idea appeals to you. But I say go with the new guy.

[Iron_Man]

That’s not the proper way to have a relationship

[Anonymous]

Distance yourself