My best friend said my boyfriend is a horrible person, and my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum?

[Anonymous]

I don’t know what to do. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 7 months so it’s still fresh and we spend all our time together. Him and my best friend got into a huge fight over something he did, and my best friend said he’s a horrible person. My other friend also doesn’t like him, I don’t know why though.

My boyfriend said that if I keep this group of friends and don’t cut them off, he’s going to leave me. He said they’re jealous of our relationship and that I’m dating him/ spending a lot of time with him, and want to split us up.

What should I do? I don’t want to lose him, but I love my friends as well and don’t want to lose them. I don’t want them to speak to my boyfriend in that way though.

[BrookeAZ90]

A 7-month relationship is not that long. If your friends have been around for many more years those are the people I'd prioritize. You should probably have a lengthy convo with your friends about what's horrible about him. The boyfriend giving you an ultimatum is pretty wrong though. If he's forcing you to choose him over all your friends, there's nothing stopping him from forcing you to cut out all sorts of other people/activities from your life in favor of him and it's controlling behavior. I would never let him have that kind of power. No guy's worth that. I'd tell him the friends stay and if he'd break up with you over that, he'll likely just break up with you over something else petty too. He seems like he's giving you an escape and it sounds like you ought to take it but by telling him you won't choose and then leave it to him to be the one who chooses to end it.

[arodriguez664]

I don't know. My ex was HATED by everyone close to me. I did my best to keep them all separate, but when you start to compartmentalize your life to that degree, it starts to mess with your sense of self/mental health. In the end they were all right, my ex was: possessive, jealous, abusive, and narcissistic. He tore every shred of confidence I had down, had me entirely convinced that he was the only person who would ever love me. I was with him for 12 years, he was all I knew. Leaving him was one of the scariest, hardest things I ever did. Sometimes I wish I would've recognized the signs earlier or listened to my sister, mom, and friends. They saw what I couldn't. Maybe your guy is different, But I will say a person who truly loves you shouldn't ask you to choose between people that you love and them. Ultimatums are never really healthy in a relationship

[DownInTheDumps]

How long have you been friends with those people for? Sometimes they can see certain things about someone that we cannot see in that person who were are in a relationship with.

[brandon1122]

You've been with him for seven months and spend all of your time with him. So trust him. That's what I would do in your situation.

[Luckycharms12]

If you're friends don't like him a sign to get ride

[In_Trance]

This is a gong show. move on