Is trust given or earned with a girl?

[ManHater]

Do girls give men trust? Is trust earned over time? I have told that trust is earned but trust has to be given to you.

So how do you gain trust with a girl? Trust is very important foundation to anything but why is trust so hard for some people and how do you get a girl to trust you?

[CaptainOverthink]

Someone gives you trust and then it's up to you to prove that you can live up to that trust, you can earn after you recieve. It's like what Adam1978 said.

Because if you don't get trust to start off with then all you have is mistrust and anything built upon that will be corrupted by it.
It can still be fixed though, but it's often far more work than it's worth because if you have recieved no trust from the get-go, that usually means the would-be giver have trust-issues which are internal to them and that's not your fault.
Which means they must adjust their mindset but if they don't or can't then even if you work your ass off to prove you're not like the previous guys it won't make a difference. It's an unfair situation, but it's very real.

I think a good way to prove your trustworthy to someone that has given you trust is:
- Give your trust.
- Be consistent and reliable in your routines.
- Be open and don't lie about anything.
- Include her in your decision-making, even if your mind is already made-up.
- Explain to her your inner workings, how you function in thought (if she don't understand you).
- Look out for her.
- Think ahead, the small things add up, share in her burdens.


As for the reasons to why this is common, it's because of hook-up culture and the way both genders have set up their goals to use eachother as steppingstones to the next thing.
It's just commonplace to not settle, meanwhile our use of technology has made us worse at confrontations which partially leads to cheating and ghosting rather than being open. These, among other factors, makes betrayal and trust-issues common.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you make this into poll?

You can argue that the vast majority of human beings are naturally selfish. Even people who do good things for others expecting nothing in return are arguably selfish because they enjoy the good feeling they get from it. But I guess that’s the best way you can be selfish is being selfless.

Anyway only a complete naive fool would “give” trust to a woman he’s attractive to (and I was that fool years ago). However women don’t “earn” your trust either. No you have to determine if the woman finds you valuable and if she does what exactly about you she values (is it looks, money, social status, social “optics” she gets from dating you, etc.) That is what determines if she leaves or stays.

Let me explain. There was a time in history women HAD to be more selfish than men in relationships because her very self preservation depended on it. She had very limited options to survive her own. She usually didn’t have the physical strength to provide for herself and her children. She could be easily overpowered, raped and/or murdered by feral men. The only thing she did have was her feminine wiles to seduce a man who could provide and protect her. If she determined the man couldn’t do one or neither then he was expendable. Mother Nature gave her the ability to be more callous relationally so she could find a mate that ensured her survival.

[Opinion Owner]

So women today will only associate with me that can provide them some sort of benefit. If he’s rich and/or attractive and/or high social status then she finds relational and sexual benefits from him. If he’s nice yet unattractive and/or not financially well off then she finds benefit of using him via friéndzone bs. Even if she seems like she is being selfless by helping him somehow she is often doing it for social óptics or to make herself feel better about something else she feels guilty about.

Anyway bottom line from this rant is woman deep down care about men who can benefit them somehow. That’s why you can’t “trust” them because once they determine you are no longer valuable it’s easy for them to move on fast.

They don’t feel the same guilt the same way as many men do. Evolution stereotypically makes men aggressive. But it also makes men sympathetic and caring towards women whether the woman could benefit the man or not (chivalry came from this). If it wasn’t for that then humanity would have ended very prematurely. Prehistoric men wouldn’t have cared about helping women survive just their immediate gratifications.

[catiecatie]

Depends. I’d say it’s earned like everyone else. You can’t just trust a girl right away. They can be the biggest red flag but you trust her so she wouldn’t hurt you.

[TheSimFans]

is should be earn and not given since when most people going to used the trust .

[shades777]

Social proof works with women because she sees that other women trust you and concludes your trust worthy, if your listen to what they're eluding too you willl see it everywhere, its literally like feeding a deer in the wild.


They say stuff like, you must be a player,
you must have all the ladies going wild


social proof

[thatshydork]

I like to think it’s a bit of a mix. That’s how it is for me at least. I give a little bit of trust in the beginning and if that trust grows, it’s because the other person has earned my trust.

[CallmeTheKnight]

You have to give trust no matter the circumstances. Employers do that with people applying and we do that with people we start getting acquainted with. However it becomes earned once you prove yourself trustworthy

[Adam1978]

It's always both, you can't earn trust if none is given.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Girls have to earn my trust... those lying she-beasts lie too much.

[SolitarySolace]

Trust is earned no matter who a person is. You can't just give trust and expect it.

[Shamalien]

yeah I don't know. I guess I always give trust, even when I shouldn’t, but never full trust….

[Sparkie460]

Trust is always earned. I never trusted anyone right out of the gate

[Anonymous]

Trust should ALWAYS be earned - girl or guy!!!

[Puppystarfish23]

It has to be earned 100%

[Miristheiss]

A little of both.

[Agape93]

Earned, same as anyone else

[fonduegirl]

Depends on the individual.

[Anonymous]

Everything is earned. Not given not taken.

[serious_miss419]

Depends on the female and what she’s been through

[jennafish]

Earned