Keeping your spouse interested?

[Anonymous]

What (if any) active steps do you take to keep your long term spouse or partner interested in and satisfied by you (emotionally, mentally, or sexually)?

[RavVid]

This is a good question.

Everybody will have experienced meeting someone new and being sexually excited over them. Typically guys and girls go through a 6-12 month honeymoon period of bonding. Lots of sexual and emotional bonding. Then it starts to tone down. Most typically the girl starts shutting down the frequency of sex to two or three times a week that is more to her preference.

In my own experience, a girl started shutting up shop after six months. She wanted me to re-seduce her every night and whisper sweet nothings. OK re-affirmations of love - get it. The problem was she demanded new sweet nothings every goddamned night. "Oh you said that last night".

It is extremely difficult to find new seductive phrases every night. On my side I just wanted her to plump up the pillows and open her legs after a reasonable amount of foreplay. It was not as if she didn't know she was going to be orgasmed each and every time. She was.

On the girl side, keeping your spouse interested has the basic component of putting out reliably without fuss. Your whole objective needs to be to remain a sex object to him and not to become a defacto sister. Some refusal doesn't hurt because it gives more value to when you do spread'em. It wouldn't hurt to be be flirtatious with him. Maybe you go to bed naked some nights and in a neck to ankle night gown other nights.

On the guy side, I'm not so sure. Girls don't seem to value orgasms the same way we value ejaculations. The phrase 'boring husband' might mean a guy who regularly delivers orgasms but without the passion of when the couple first met. Back then the guy would have been more 'sex and sex now'.

Maybe girls want more passion from their spouse. I really don't know. Maybe a girl could tell us here.

[strateguy632]

take walks in new locations

[Asker]

Great idea!

[_Maya_]

If it is a solid relationship then it shouldn't require effort to keep them interested. I have only been in one long term relationship in my life and never married. I just imagine when I do get married and meet that guy of my dreams, he won't have to work hard to keep me interested in any way that you listed. I could be wrong of course. Trying new things that are within your boundaries in the bedroom would be one way to keep the sex life interesting. Travel and experiencing new things could satisfy the emotional part meaning sharing experiences.

[Asker]

I agree in sentiment. I don't really mean a lack of overall connection, but more of just life getting in the way - kids, work etc. And how to get back to 'dating' again, taking proactive steps to prioritize 'us' time, and keeping things new and fresh before it could potentially lead to a lack of interest.
I love your idea of trying new things together and I will do that. Thank you

[_Maya_]

You are very weclome. I can understand how life can get in the way. I am sure it will be that way when i get married someday. I was just thinking like plan a spontaneous surprise night out or something new thing both of you have never done. Good luck!

[In_Trance]

open communication without judgement

[Iron_Man]

Take her on a nice, lovely vacation

[BaoBao1]

Always spice things up