Why do women that want kids stress about fertility decreases after their 20s?

[MementoMori777]

according to my 2 minute research on the internet it says that women can still have kids past their 40s its just very low, it says the chances are a bit over 20% which means its still somewhat possible, i always thought they lost their full ability to reproduce after a certain age so i understood their stress but doesn't it being 20% just mean more sexual intimacy with their SO? is it really a bad thing? or am i missing something my male brain lacks the knowledge on? 🙂👂

[provokeesmokee]

No, mean, you can produce kids until menopause.

But after 35 years old, women and the fetus experience exponential risk increases. Birth defects and problems occur more frequently.

Men also are affected but since they aren't carrying the fetus, it's less severe. Still predisposes the baby to health issues though.

I don't know why people freak out, though. You can always adopt and there's a big need for adoptive families.

Breeders obsessed with "passing on genetics" just seem like egotistical tyrants to me. Your genes don't matter that much and we're all made of the same stardust. Adoption is perfectly valid for late in life childrearing.

[MementoMori777]

i think its more on letting the family tree die out, mostly if you had a big amount but i do understand their stress to a certain point tho lol

[provokeesmokee]

Adopt a kid and give him the family name - boom, tree continues.

"Family tree"? Wtf is the real world, Game of Thrones? They trying to be the next Sacklers or Koches? Why?

That seems like a weird ego trip and the worst reason to bring a new life into the world.

"I want to preserve my name. I'm not going to do anything noteworthy with my life, though. I'm just gonna raw dog my wife! That'll do it! Ah, family name immortalized."

Like what? 🤣

[MementoMori777]

not everyone wants to adopt tho, some want to spread their genes and want kids to actually be theirs lol

[Anonymous]

It’s already not a very easy task. You have fertile windows, but you only ovulate for one day. Sperm can survive for up to five days, however that doesn’t mean they will make it to the egg. You can look up all the ways the body tries to prevent sperm from getting to the egg including the females own immune system. Yes, you can get pregnant till menopause, but you have a higher risk of a baby that is not healthy whether mentally or physically as well as miscarriage or still borns any age after 35. Pregnancy is way more complicated than just have more s*x.

[MementoMori777]

well thanks for clearing that up, that is enough knowledge to answer the question to my male brain 🤗

[Berethor]

The chances of woman getting pregnant at 40 are low, so many men prefer younger women.

https://www.yourfertility.org.au/everyone/age

[California_Poppy]

Women have a certain number of eggs. That number does not increase. It only goes down with each ovulation cycle. Once they hit menopause they have less than 1,000.
So, over time the quality and quantity of the eggs just continues to go down - decreasing the likelihood of conceiving a healthy child.

As a women, if children are something that you really really want, it's just risky to wait until right before you can't anymore.

Also, children are tiring af. You gotta be young enough to keep up! 🤣

[ByCureChris9669]

@California_Poppy Hey! do you give advice or support? I need someone to talk with.. follow me if its okay :)

[MementoMori777]

i had no idea of this process til today, makes a lot of sense, now i see the stress, its more of the stress for the health of the child, and for some reason i didn't think about the youth being important to being a parent oof 😂

[LostandFound__x]

Figures aside it can be really hard as you get older. Especially if you want your kids to have siblings.

I HATE that I am 25 and I have a biological clock. I’m not ready to settle down completely emotionally and financially, and I haven’t met the right man for me yet.

However I feel this constant pressure that I should be because I do want to have a few kids.

[MementoMori777]

yes i understand that, and im sure its pretty difficult to find someone that wants the best for you and has the best intentions in mind but dont let it unmotivate you or even push you to rush in it, you know rushing into things in never the answer nor does it ever bring good results 🙂💯

[LostandFound__x]

Totally! It’s also not the best to have a child with the wrong person

[MementoMori777]

ooh yea most definitely ha

[DizzyDesii]

For me, its not necessarily about fertility though i thought it was 34+ when it gets harder. I just personally always wanted to have kids before my 30s, preferably in my early 20s. So far it hasn't happened but yea. I don’t want to be na “old” parent. I mean 30+ year olds still run around with their kids and stuff but i still consider 30+ years old pretty old for a guy/girl to have kids 🤷‍♀️ Thats just my opinion

[DizzyDesii]

I want at least one BIO kid but the goal is of course to adopt at least one kid sometime in my 30s. I just didn't want to give birth 30+

[MementoMori777]

thats understandable, got 2 more years, im routing for you whoo 😅

and its fway that you wanna adopt, not many people are doing it apparently

[DizzyDesii]

I need to suck it up and just get a sperm donor. I keep putting it off hoping for love first lmao. But i dont even know if i want love half the time. But i 100% know i want a kid

[MementoMori777]

do whatever you gotta do i guess but i know you gonna teach them kids how to caress the slot machines 😂

[DizzyDesii]

Soon as they turn 21


Lol funny thing is, when kids played uno, goldfish, and other card games, i was calling them over to my table to play some childhood version of i guess poker lmao! I had the deck of bicycle cards and used to act like i was a table dealer at a casino 🤣

[MementoMori777]

teaching them young, finesse, you used the cards that will get in their little brains and was like "this is gonna help you later on in life, you'll see" 😂

them kids gonna be playing poker for the first time and have flashbacks to your childish poker game win big bricks lol

[DizzyDesii]

I’m going to teach them not to go as much and to just go on holidays and birthdays. When the pandemic hit, we went every weekend 😭🤣

[MementoMori777]

you do know it can become addictive and if they do, they will probably stop listening to your rules 😂

[DizzyDesii]

You have to break the addiction early. The pandemic hit when i was 25. From 21-24 i wasn't addicted. 26+ I haven't been addicted. Gotta have self control. But 25 was hard because there was nothing else to do for the year in 2020

[MementoMori777]

yea but not everyone has the self control you do Dizzy, they can go one day and then say one more won't hurt, then say it again and then eventually they live there 😆

[DizzyDesii]

I won't let then go down the wrong path unless they legit move away

[MementoMori777]

i know i was joking 😂