What behaviors do you continue, even knowing they will always lead to negative results?

[caring__1]

When was the last time you went 24 hours without accusing, assuming, blaming, complaining, criticizing, demanding, rationalizing, raising your voice, or telling others what they should or shouldn’t do? Find out whether others concur with your perception. Have any of the stated actions led to a positive result for all involved?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am rebellious to authorities, I lack responsibility, I am quick to anger.

I fight with these characteristics but they are part of me.

I am also very lucky, because thanks to my charms I easily get away with the flaws I mentioned earlier.

[caring__1]

It can be hard to change old patterns, and the more established they are, the more challenging they are to eliminate, especially when we find it easy to legitimize our pattern. Everything we do is done to meet a need. Telling yourself to stop doing it won't eliminate the need. Look for alternatives you can do that would meet that need as well, if not better. We're more likely to succeed if we replace rather than eliminate. To raise the likelihood of being effective in our attempt to change, it is very helpful to associate a consequence to the action. Effective consequences are closely related to the action and time limited. Consequences aren't designed to create great pain and discomfort... just enough to slow us down and get us to think before we act. If you'd like greater understanding of your challenges, feel free to ask.

We're less likely to eliminate characteristics we label as part of us. For example, one of the most common labels parents put on their kids is "lazy." The parents are labeling the person, not the behavior. The more kids hear it, the more the label sticks, and then these kids start using the label as an excuse for not changing, as it is them and not something within their control. How can they expect themselves to accomplish anything, when people who are older and wiser continuously tell them they are lazy and incapable?

[jeffend888]

You will not be able to get away with your "charms" in 10 years. Those flaws will catch up to you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@jeffend888 We’ll see that. You, though, will never get away with it, not today, not tomorrow, not 10 years later ;)

Also, what does this comment serve, other than indirectly implying that men are silly unprofessionals who forgive unforgivable behavior and have no mind of their own? Why’d you disgrace your own male hood by stating this?

It might be hard to believe but most of my bosses have been females and I got away :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you for such nice suggestions and your wise opinions. They are much appreciated and thought provoking. @caring__1

[caring__1]

You're welcome.

[jeffend888]

This might be the most self-serving, narcissistic comment I have ever seen.

And that's saying something.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@jeffend888 I might sound rude, but I don’t like when people try to make you feel bad when you are just there honestly sharing your thoughts without hurting anyone.

It’s like saying “I feel so happy today!”

And then someone will hop in to say “You’ll still die, like the rest of us, why are you happy?”

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@jeffend888 Okay, let’s say my comment is narcissistic.

Now, describe your own comment. What was the purpose of writing that? You wanted me to feel bad. Let’s dig deeper. Why’d you waste your time trying to make strangers feel bad online. What does it say about you?

Think about that.

[Nikki1989]

I thrive on positivity as much as possible, but I am only human.

[caring__1]

Being human means we'll never be perfect, but that doesn't mean we can't be observant to see our dysfunctional patterns and find more functional alternatives. I'm sure you wouldn't want your partner to legitimize and maintain dysfunctional patterns.

[Subflics]

I say a lot of borderline offensive things at work. a lot of my coworkers know that I'm not a hateful person so they understand I'm just very blunt.

[caring__1]

We can legitimize patterns by saying "That's just who I am," or we can take time to consider how our words might impact others before impulsively blurting out. Some people may accept your behavior, while you may be closing the door on other opportunities without even being aware of what you may have lost.

[Subflics]

I'm sure this affects my dating and forming friendships because i give off strong judgmental vibes

[caring__1]

Everyone is entitled to their own personal preferences, but minimizing others by pushing your agenda onto them and implying only your preferences have any value is inconsiderate. You're unlikely to get more consideration than you give.

Good, bad, right and wrong are just judgmental terms people use to imply they are better than others. Rather than using these terms, help others see whether their choices are functional for them or dysfunctional.

Before saying or doing anything, ask yourself whether you'd truly appreciate (not just tolerate) being on the receiving end of what you plan to dish out. If not, come up with an alternative.

[Senator754]

I’d tell you, but you can’t handle the truth?

[Reem12345reem]

most addictions are like that

[b_lova]

Watching Porn

[Lokiion]

Here’s a good one if you wanna stop I can help you with that just tell me

[magiusX26]

living