My mom told me I may never have a wife. How do I deal with this?

[Anonymous]

She said a wife may never be in the cards for me and that I am too immature.

It breaks my heart because ever since I was a little kid I always wanted a girlfriend. I have never had a real girlfriend and I am almost 29.

I only want a woman without a romantic past, which may have doomed me already.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about the past too much and soon your life will shift.ﾠ

[Oliverlogan263]

Your mother's comment was hurtful and incorrect. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• You are still young at 29 and have plenty of time to find the right partner. Many people don't find lasting love until their 30s or later.

• Maturity comes with time and experience. Focus on personal growth, building confidence and putting yourself out there to meet new people.

• Not having a romantic past does not "doom" you. There are many kind, caring women with limited experience as well.

• Having "always wanted a girlfriend" since childhood is normal, but an unhealthy foundation for a true partnership as an adult. Focus now on the right qualities you seek in a partner, not just wanting a girlfriend for its own sake.

• Your worth and ability to find love has nothing to do with your mother's opinion. Her comment likely stems from her own concerns, not an accurate reflection of you.

• Seeking therapy could help build self-esteem, resilience and social skills to form meaningful connections. Don't let your mom's words hold you back from investing in yourself.

• Put yourself out there by joining clubs, social groups, online communities, etc. focused on your interests. Build friendships first that could blossom into something more.

Most importantly, challenge any negative self-talk or limiting beliefs. You are worthy of love and connection - don't let anyone, even your parents, convince you otherwise. Focus on personal growth, building confidence and putting yourself out there. The right partner will come along when you least expect it.

[_Maya_]

I agree with her because of the whole romantic past. Dude just give it up. You sound like a broken record ffs. If you are not going to learn that people at your age have typically been with multiple people your mom is totally correct. What is your damn hangup on it anyway. Who gives af if she loved someone before. If she is single she doesn't fucking love him anymore. I think you may be bound for the single life until you face reality.

@snowedin this guy again. He just doesn't get it.

[Asker]

It is because when me and a woman meet, we can never say we have those "roots" or knew each other when we were young. Meanwhile, she has most likely experienced young love when she was younger with other guys that did have those roots with her. I cannot have that.

[Lenanolena]

There are women like him. I seen it first hand so you are wrong in saying his mentality is wrong that he wants a woman like him.

[_Maya_]

The majority are not.

[Lenanolena]

But there are still some lol.

It doesn't matter that most aren't.

[_Maya_]

So your best advice is severely restrict your dating pool at almost the age of 30 and possibly pass up on the perfect match because she was in love say five years ago? Yeah... good luck to the asker then. Take that advice. 😆

[msc545]

@Lenanolena He has never even had a girlfriend. What does that tell you?

[Lenanolena]

That's not my advice? Where did I say he should restrict all other women?

You are just stuff up now

[Lenanolena]

@msc545 so? He has his own issues. Do you know why? I bet you don't

[msc545]

@Lenanolena telling him to keep looking is useless until he changes his standards to something realistic.

[Asker]

@Lenanolena Thank you for your kind words

[_Maya_]

@lenanolena That is exaclty what you are asking him to do if you suggest he stick to his standards. If you don't know that most women have at one point at the very least dated and had a romantic past with SOMEONE you are delusional. So yeah that would severly restrict the dating pool at 28. Good lord some people are dense.

[Anonymous]

Wow. That was so rude of your mom. I only hope she didn't ruin your childhood. ﾠ ﾠ ﾠ

[menina]

Your mother's words were hurtful, but I think she might be right. If you're looking for a woman who is your age, there a 99% chance that she has a romantic past. Either you change your standards or you will end up single.

[Asker]

What happened to your encouraging words about finding what I was looking for?

[menina]

I still encourage you to find what you're looking for. I just think it will be really hard to find a 28 year old woman who has no romantic past. It's not impossible, but it's hard.

[menina]

*there is

[Asker]

What about a woman that is 20? What about 23?

[menina]

You might have better chances with someone who is 20 or 23. But still, there are many women from this age group who have a romantic past as well.

[sheikalana]

Ouch that's not very nice of your mom to say that. You should keep looking for your dream girl but also be realistic and accept that finding someone without a romantic past at 29 is barely possible but good luck!

[JackCarter]

You need to start ignoring such comments..
I know it hurts hearing it from someone you love , but you can never expect anyone to be perfect you know...

[msc545]

I think your mother is right unless you revise your totally unreasonable standards.

[anna180]

you will get a wife your mum can't predict the future

[Jamie05rhs]

Tell her to go fuck herself. You don't need that negativity in your life. You need to cut your mom off.

[gothbxtch]

i sympathized wih you up until that last sentence yikes

[Jamie05rhs]

@gothbxtch Why does that offend you?

[gothbxtch]

@Jamie05rhs just like. the reason op doesn’t have a girlfriend is because he’s holding women up to ridiculously high standards

[Jamie05rhs]

@gothbxtch Well, tell him that, then. Lol

[Anonymous]

There are women like you. My friend got a wife who got her first boyfriend at 28.

Just keep looking.

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah your mom is right.

[Anonymous]

Never having parasites is a very good thing.

[LazerBean]

She's just trying to bring you back to reality.