If you had to choose a partner but one mental red flag behaviour was mandatory to come in them (to happen to you), which one would it be?

[Beautyblossom2]

From the list given below. Suggest more if I wasn't able to come up with them

Being gaslighted

Being patronized over

Being ignored/dismissed regularly without info

Boundaries being violated

Being manipulated so you change yourself

Being openly disrespected without them realising

No communication/ no deep-personal talks

A total of 32 votes were cast: 14 girls and 18 guys. See detailed results

[DaveJord]

No communication/ no deep-personal talks are what I voted for; I choose that one because for me it's the least harmful of all the others. I mean all the others are various forms of manipulation, but someone that just doesn't want to have deep talks I could deal with... and maybe eventually work together with to get to a point that talks could happen. So, I voted on No Communication because to me it would be the lesser of all the other evils and it offers the highest odds for potential improvement.

Honestly you put together a very good list. Anyone that has dated for more than a day has run across all these types, and we all know it's never just one or the other. Where there is smoke there is fire, and when you find one of these things all the other things on the list will soon follow. But hey, if she wants to date and not have deep convos then great, that usually means that she is aware of the things about her she needs to improve upon... or at least keep under wraps. So that means you could date and have fun and really enjoy yourself for a time and hope for the best until the truth comes out.

[Beautyblossom2]

Thank you for giving your time writing this answer, assessing these options well & for giving the explanation👍. Based on my own experience, I agree with that 'when you find one of these things, all others will soon follow'. If you came earlier & gave this opinion, I could've selected you for the "most helpful guy" tag😅😂

[DaveJord]

No worries, MHO is not important to me... but thank you.

[Anonymous]

Being patronized over. Because she's a woman so the odds are pretty good she'll do that anyway.

[sheenagwapa]

i wanna chanfe my andwrt i love being patronize to this i mean my ex WAS my #1 fan and i loke it. second to that is boundaries being violated because i'm a forgiving person.
what i hate the most is not sharing or no deep talks. i feel lome i maybe immature at times with my behavior but intellectually/phychologicaly i'm very mature.
i want deep talks because i want to feel depper connection loke our relationship is not shallow i want a meaningful relationship

[Beautyblossom2]

Yeah.. I feel 'no communication' is a more serious red flag for women as compared to men (based on the responses I've received)

[Anemone978]

I fell in love with a guy that did all of these things.. but I was the bad guy because I wanted to leave, I was hurting him when he wouldn't even be exclusive with me lol

[Beautyblossom2]

Good!! If he did all of these things, you just gave him a taste of his own medicine

[Anemone978]

I doubt I actually even hurt him, he was just a liar.. I don't know why he was holding on to me.. we never even had sex..

[ShellyB]

Well I had a relationship that had ALL of these issues!! But I hated it. Today I do not think I would stay in a relationship w any of these behaviors, unless maybe it was minor or a matter of opinion, no relationship is perfect but the way these are worded, they sound pretty extreme. I guess being patronized would be the least upsetting to me. JMO!

[Beautyblossom2]

Yeah😅, sorry for wording them like that😆😓
Hope you're doing better after that relationship😊 keep going..

[magiusX26]

yeah, nope. every one of those are relationship enders and if seen before starting a relationship, ends even looking at her beyond an object to walk around so that you dont bump into it level of other person.

[Beautyblossom2]

It was an 'if/suppose' question😅 but ok, your ans is fine😊

[MissBoogus]

I chose boundaries being violated because, well, I had to pick one but also I feel like it’s not always necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes being uncomfortable is ok you may learn something new about yourself.

[Beautyblossom2]

Yes. That's one good reason to choose that!

[RavVid]

I think being manipulated into changes comes with a relationship i. e. rewards for good behavior. It is fairly intrinsic and even institutionalized. On valentines and anniversaries the guy is expected to go to some effort and most often will be rewarded with some good sex.

So of the list red flags I think manipulation is the least harmful. Often you do know you are being manipulated but play along with it.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Either red flag will do :( it's not going to last anyway...

[Beautyblossom2]

☠️☠️😶

[Killsey]

Those are some nightmare options. Gaslighted. I've had people try that. It's annoying, but not as bad as the others in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

I can't remember ever having a genuinely "deep" conversation with any woman.

[Beautyblossom2]

😟☹️

[Opinion Owner]

For most women "deep" is who the Chad is on the show "The Bachelor". I'll pass.

[provokeesmokee]

Any and all of these are dealbreakers for me.

[Beautyblossom2]

Yes😂 even I hate all of these signs.. But that's y for fun I asked this.. It's just an "if/suppose" question.. But ofc your reply is still fine😊

[provokeesmokee]

I mean, my answer is "none of the above" , lol. But that's not a poll option, so reply is all I can do.

[Beautyblossom2]

Yeah that's fine😂😊

[msc545]

Boundary violations leave the door open for everything else listed and more.

[ProbablyClueless]

I'd take be patronized.

[FinalFantasyBro]

Being lazy I just leave her to be honest.

[Grovermint]

I'll take being patronized for 500.

[Anonymous]

none

[Anonymous]

Option E