How someone can have feelings for you and at the same time destroy you?

[Mdavila]

[caring__1]

The opposite of love is not hate... it is apathy or indifference (strong feelings vs no feelings). When we care about someone, we develop expectations of them. When those expectations aren't met, we get frustrated and disappointed and often project those feelings out as hatred. There's a fine line between love and hate. If you don't care about a person, you won't have expectations of that person. If you don't have expectations, you won't be disappointed and feel hatred.

Actively seek out an understanding of the other person's expectations of you. Determine if they are realistic or not. Let the other know when what is being sought isn't who you are. Show an interest in seeing things through the other person's eyes, and consider the other person's feelings before saying or doing anything. By being considerate, we're more likely to get consideration from the other person.

[ArrowheadSW]

They would have to be a very toxic person to do that, but it could happen.

[Anonymous]

That was me. I had deep feelings for this guy but I was too scared of my own feelings so I left him. I had commitment and trust issues, went to therapy for it, did a lot of self reflection and now I’m in a much better place. We’ve been together for a couple of years now.

[BLP11520]

Yes, but they need a shrink! head case