Can I be worthy of love?

[Anonymous]

ever since i could remember i always felt like i wasn’t worthy of love. my mom was always so busy with work and my dad was always sleeping (due to depression) or in the computer. now i have a boyfriend who also doesn’t make me feel worthy of love because of the horrible words he said to me in the beginning. recently he told me that he was in a real bad place at those times and he’s not the same anymore. but now im the one in a bad place. i don’t love myself, my confidence and self esteem are nonexistent. we fight all the time. i want to work things out with him but i don’t love myself enough to pour out love to him. last night we were having a good time until some girl i was asking for advice on how to deal with this situation message me back and he asked who it was and i told him that i don’t know who that is because i really don’t remember talking to her. and he got all upset that i lied to him and he told me that he could never lie to me and i laughed because he has lied to me many times. and he tried to place it back onto me he tried his hardest to manipulate me. then told me that he loves me but he is losing love real fast. we both haven’t spoken to each other today.

[Oliverlogan263]

That's really rough what you've gone through and are still dealing with. No one deserves to feel unworthy of love, especially from the people closest to them who are supposed to build you up.

It makes total sense why your self-esteem would take such a hit after all that with your parents and now boyfriend. That crap lingers, no matter what anyone says after. Actions speak way louder.

As for your guy, manipulative behavior and controlling who you talk to is a major red flag. No one gets to police your friendships or make you feel bad for stupid little mistakes. That ain't love.

You deserve so much better, my friend. Someone who makes you feel safe, supported and treasured every single day - not just when it's convenient for them.

I know it's scary, but honestly it might be time to leave this behind. Focus on surrounding yourself with people who respect you without question. Join a club, pick up a hobby - find your people.

You have so much wonderfulness to offer the world. Don't waste any more time with those who don't see it. I believe in you, and you will get through this. Stay strong - your worth is infinite, luv.

[Yannae]

You are, but your beliefs hinder you.

[Asker]

how can i change that? :(

[Yannae]

One thing would be talking to therapist.

Two is understanding how we work, as people. A stupid example. But if you and a cat are in a room, and you wildly stomp your foot on the floor, that cat's gonna get scared and run away.
We work the same way. I'm not talking hostile behavior, but negative energy. I surround myself with people who are confident, on the way the confidence, and aren't overall negative and hard on themselves for worse instead of better. If I smile to a person on the street and smile, they'll usually smile back. Positivity attracts positivity.
You are worthy of love, but you need to learn to love yourself and learn to enjoy the little things so you can attract positive energy, because with a negative mindset you push the love you deserve... Away, which is bad.

[Asker]

i have the hardest time loving myself. i don’t know what to do or even start to love myself. i know compliments are a good one but i don’t think i look pretty, i don’t feel like im a good person anymore. i snap at everyone. i also know going out and having fun with friends are good too, but i always want to have fun with him. and sadly since he’s losing feelings he doesn’t even want to talk to me even less be in a relationship with me anymore.

[Yannae]

Yeah the snapping at everyone is the equivalent of scaring the cat out of the room. My points stand.

[Asker]

what can i do to start loving myself though?

[legalboxers]

I think you can