How do I forget about a girl?

[Anonymous]

We've been acquaintances for a long period... usually hang out in the same group of friends and we've been knowing each others for years. Only lately, I realized how much i like her as a person. I was really afraid about confessing my feelings to her and, in fact, she found another guy and they're actually dating.

I'm almost 21 yo and I've never had a relationship, so it hurts when someone close to me tells me about what it feels like to be in a relationship. i just want to forget about her, but i noticed i always associate people to places and songs, so every time I go out and see the places we usually go to, it feels terrible. I want to forget about her but it's so difficult.

Updates

1 y

This attachment also influences my view of other girls... of course i see more beutiful girls every day, but she's simply unique and i can't find anyone like her

[Yesdarlingmoon]

She's unique? That's your problem you are labeling her that way; To start moving on you must see her as everyone else.

[Asker]

I know... that's right.

But i've noticed i generally start feeling attraction towards people i've been knowing for a long period of time... and this often makes it difficult to express my feelings cause girls i like (not as crushes, but on a more serious level) often move on after a short period of time.

It's almost like my concept of "dates" is simply getting to know each other through years. I find dates to be a rush of time so that "we can get to know quicker and date sooner". Getting to know someone by dates would be very difficult for me, cause i'm looking for someone who can be my friend first...

I'll try with therapy... thanks for the comment anyway!

[DextroShade]

You need to ghost her and move on. Never be in the friend-zone again; value yourself enough to not give your time, attention, and resources to a woman who you aren't romantically involved with.

[bededazzle]

accept that it takes time. you’ll get over here though. don’t waste your time on people who aren’t into you.

[Tharithi]

what’s unique about her

[Asker]

On a physical level, she's very similar to an italian actress called Alessandra Mastronardi. Not tall, slightly dark skin (kind of typical of sothern italy), incredible smile. She's definitely my type considering Mastronardi is the most attractive woman i've ever seen. Maybe her height is not ideal for me cause i'm 6'3 and looking for tall girls... but a pretty smile is what turns me on in most of the cases. As i've said, tho, i see tons of more attractive girls...

But personality is what really makes her unique to me. I don't know how to say it, but she's very cheerful... very dreamy. I also like little details about her, like her always untidy clothes in her baggages (when we used to travel) and her passion for photography. As i've said, we've been to various places and when i think about her i generally think about summer and about certain cities.

[Tharithi]

Ohhh what does she wear

[Tharithi]

How tall is she? And what clothes does she wear? What’s her personality? What makes her dreamy

[Asker]

she usually wears very particular clothes... i've never seen her wearing a t-shirt, except when we were at her place or at the gym. She usually wears elegant clothes that fit her physique very well. It kind of seems like she really puts effort in what she wears.

She's around 5'6/5'7... this is probably her only flaw cause i'd rather be with a girl who's around 5'9/6'0... but to be honest all these numbers don't REALLY matter to me. She's very extroverted and has lots of friends. I also value her desire for a serious relationship (which is what i look for too). She's dreamy regarding her approach to life, and she's the kind of person that gets interested in anything if you're willing to tell her more. She'd probably even find interesting a conversation about lawnmowers.

I gotta be honest... I just realized something important. Given my very low self esteem, i always fall in love with people i want to be like... and in fact i often wonder where she's at, or what she'd do in a certain situation... it's so sad to type this but i really feel like a shadow very often.

[Tharithi]

U told she dresses untidy. What does she wear. Some Tips to spare?

[Tharithi]

What’s her physique

[Asker]

no... her clothes in her suitcase are very untidy but once she chooses what she wears she looks incredible. She's slim... that's probably another thing i don't really like about her. I mean, she's got the dream body of lots of girls, but i honestly don't like that kind of body. Now, we both go to the gym and she wants to gain a bit of muscle in the legs/glutes.

[bededazzle]

carl jung wrote about a shadow self. to be a complete man, you have to incorporate the feminine aspects you admire. personally, i’m still working on it, but i think it’s true