Girlfriend embarrassed/ashamed of me in public?

[sevenfourtwo]

Hi all.

So this is my frist relationship since my ex-wife and I divorced. Everything has been perfect - we never fight, we love the same activities, have the same life goals etc...

However when she drinks she blacks out. I don't have a problem with this because I always take care of her. But the issue is that when it is just the two of us without any friends around, she often disappears and finds a group of other blokes to hang around with. I'm not generally a jealous type at all - however when she is attaching to this group, she doesn't even look at me when we speak. Her affection drops from 100 to 0. She won't even introduce me as her boyfriend, but as someone 'she came here with'.

Other than this our relationship has been perfect, but I just cannot get over this hurdle. It makes me feel so humiliated.

What do I do?
Thanks.

Updates

4 mo

Edit: We have gotten into several fights - not because of her behaviour (because I won't bring it up) but because when I go out with my mates, she expects me to message her when I get home at night. If I don't, she goes ballistic. From my long history of being cheated on, this feels like projection.

[sunflower00]

Yikes!! Please don’t allow yourself to be treated like this!


Definitely try to have a conversation with her when she is sober explaining what is happening and how it makes you feel and try to come to some sort of compromise. Surely she doesn’t want to make you feel that way, so she may realise getting black out drunk is a bad idea/unfair and will limit it to a few drinks. However, don’t go in and tell her she’s not allowed to drink as this will be met with resistance

[sevenfourtwo]

Thank you for your reply. I would never restrict her drinking or any other activity as I don't believe any healthy relationship should have such restrictions. We spoke about this a bit the other night and she said she will 'try her best' not to do this anymore. However I have since lost all interest in going out with her, because I feel so humiliated.

I don't believe alcohol changes a person, it just lowers their inhibition, so she clearly has a deep seeded issue with me as her partner..

[RageBabe]

So you recognise the warning sign and still choose to stay? To be really honest, you don't need someone who is embarrassed to be around you. You have two options: stay and let it bother you, or go on and find someone who truly wants you and doesn't just want to be with you when it suits them. You deserve someone who is happy to be by your side, and I doubt your current relationship will change. Warmest regards

[BadApple69]

I feel your pain!
There is only one thing I can suggest. Sit her down and tell her what you told us. Tell her it’s an awesome relationship. That you really enjoy being with her, but you have this concern with her actions.
As for you projection? Maybe but don’t think of it like that. Think of it as concern. If my girlfriend was going out late with my friends I too would want to know she is home safe.
Communications is key.

[exitseven]

She is clearly an alcoholic and acts differently when she is drunk. She has a problem and it is up to her to deal with it. It will not get better. You can tell yourself she is perfect except for this, but this is who she is. Don't be in denial about it.

[sevenfourtwo]

She is - but so am I. The difference is I could not even imagine treating her like that - especially not in public. I try so hard to be the best partner I can be, and then this happens every time we go out... my patience has worn out and I just can't handle it anymore.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That doesn’t sound like a woman who respects or has feelings for you…

[Billlewis]

How do you feel about her being embarrassed to be seen with you in public?

[sevenfourtwo]

Words cannot describe how horrible it feels.