I’m embarrassed of her?

[Anonymous]

I met this girl on bumble, she looked chunky but when I met her today she looked even chunkier, she didn’t catfish me, I think she just got creative with her angles, I wasn’t blown away and she’s not like 300lbs, my brother and his friends gave me a “oh my god” look when she turned away. She’s a great girl and has a really pretty face, I personally don’t really care about her weight, im not really looking for perfection, but I noticed when I was being seen with her that I was pretty embarrassed, and at one point kinda hoped that people would think she’s my sister or something. And after thinking more into it I would be pretty ashamed to show her to my family, I can tell she’s an amazing girl, she’s definitely deserving of a guy who doesn’t have the feelings I do, I want to break it off, but I don’t want her to feel any sadness at all, I really had no idea she was as big as she is. and even though I don’t care about her size, the fact that I feel shame, I feel as if she deserves better than me truly. Any tips on how to Sabatoge this to where she doesn’t have to feel bad?

[XHopelessRomanticX]

Just tell her the truth. Don’t say that you’re embarrassed of her, but that you’re just not attracted to her. You can’t control how she reacts and it’s not your responsibility to make her feel good about herself.
I’m an obese woman. I’m not 300lbs, but I am 267. While genetics, insulin resistance, and other factors have contributed to my weight, the majority of it is my own fault. No man on earth is obligated to be attracted to me, and it’s completely understandable for a man to prefer a healthier body and lifestyle.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"don’t really care about her weight" "an amazing girl" "great girl" "really pretty face"VS
"I would be pretty ashamed to show her to my family"

I think you found a huge contradiction within yourself to look at, no? So, have you considered stopping your sabotage activities and looking within? You may very well discover that you're enslaved by societal shame you feel, you may also discover want to be freed from it... In all cases, I think you should investigate!

Happy investigation xD

[Lliam]

Don't say anything about her size and definitely don't say you are embarrassed.

[Caroline91]

Just tell her it isn't working for you inspite of all the wonderful things about her and that you feel it would be better not to continue to see each other. You can't avoid her being hurt, so just get it over with.

[loladevine]

tbh keep her looks out of it just don’t let it get serious

[noohair]

The only person you have any chance of changing is yourself. So if you ashamed, you can change that.

[Anonymous]

at least understand she deserves better