Does being with a controlling person in a relationship ever work?

[blunty]

[guitar]

From what I've seen and heard, relationships where one partner is overly controlling can be really challenging and, honestly, often unhealthy.

Here's the deal: relationships are supposed to be about mutual respect, trust, and support. When one person is trying to control the other, it disrupts this balance big time. Here are a few things to consider:

Loss of Independence: Being with a controlling partner can lead to a loss of personal freedom and independence.

Impact on Self-Esteem: Over time, if you're always being controlled or criticized, it can really start to eat away at your self-esteem. You might start doubting your own judgment, which can lead to a dependency on the controlling partner for validation and decisions.

Trust Issues: Trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. If someone's controlling, it often means they don't trust you, and that can create a whole host of issues.

Emotional and Mental Health: Being in a controlling relationship can be incredibly stressful and can take a toll on your emotional and mental well-being.

Isolation: Controlling partners often try to isolate their significant others from friends, family, and other support systems. This isolation can make it even harder to maintain a sense of self and to eventually leave the relationship if that becomes necessary.

But here's the thing: Can it ever work? Well, relationships are complex, and people can change, but it takes a lot of work and often professional help. If the controlling person recognizes their behavior and is genuinely committed to changing, seeking therapy and working towards building a healthier relationship dynamic, there's a possibility for improvement. However, the other partner needs to set clear boundaries and stand by them.

It's super important for both individuals to be honest with themselves about the situation. If the controlling behavior is abusive or leads to fear, it's a serious issue that needs to be addressed immediately, potentially with the help of professionals or support networks.

So, in a nutshell, while people can change and relationships can evolve, being with a controlling person is often more draining and damaging than it is beneficial.

[love_conquers_lust]

That’s how dominant/submissive relationships work. Foreign to those who haven’t tried it. Not everyone’s cup of tea regardless.

Other relationships are more egalitarian where control is shared.

They both require large amounts of trust to achieve harmony.

[Maxiebleu]

Speaking from experience it does not work. It will only escalate if it hasn’t already. I had a ex boyfriend who was super control, he deleted all of my guy friends on both my phone and Snapchat, always took my phone from me and viewed all of my messages, told me I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere without him, not even to see my best girl friends. Obsessing over where I was at 24/7 and if I didn’t answer the phone he would blow up my phone and when I finally answered he would scream at me. He became like physically and mentally Abusive. He made me feel ugly, stupid and worthless and i believed what He told me unfortunately. He was psychotic, only breakup on his terms.. I was trapped.
In a nut shell don’t date anyone who is controlling, there are much better people out there for you. Who will treat like a queen that you are and will respect you. Don’t waste your precious life on someone who doesn’t deserve you.

[HawkPerception]

Made YOU feel ugly? How can that be possible? 😐 But yeah that dude sounds highly toxic. I always wonder how girls even end up with dudes like that 😅

[BarryLiverstone]

Do you still feel trapped?

[Maxiebleu]

@HawkPerception it was back when when I graduated high school and I gotta say I wasn’t the prettiest then lol I wore no makeup and but also didn’t have a huge sense of fashion lmao but yeah it is unfortunately true.
Somehow I was easy bait I guess, I felt used in a way.

@BarryLiverstone no I do not. I am in a much healthier relationship of almost 3 years. There are things that my ex said that still sticks with me today.. and I still have ptsd from the trauma of being physically and emotionally abused.. I’m seeing a counselor and learning to cope with ptsd.

[BarryLiverstone]

Seems like lots of people on gag have been abused in their past. Has the counselor helped you work through all that? And how does your fiancé support you?

[AutumnSerenity]

No, that never works. It causes resentment and it’s overall exhausting. It’s the best way to push someone away. People who do this have a few screws loose, in my opinion.

[paledreams]

Hmm depends if it's consensual controlling or not. Aka some men want their woman to be the pants wearer. Some women want their man to lead the relationship - positively and literally positively lead the relationship. . it ain't always the doom gloom of either scenarios of man metaphorically whipped by his woman or a woman who obeys her husband like a king 👑🍔

[systemsareyo]

It probably works with an agreeable-to-it submissive partner, dominant partner. If it's mutual and agreed upon prior to beginning said relationship. Otherwise they'd probably be like that clash of personalities like The Break Up. Such a modern classic. an example of two folks who just deep down aren't suited lol 😂

[systemsareyo]

And if it's safe dominant (e. g. not some psycho or wife beater lol (. Anyways cya 😉👋🏻

[Anonymous]

No. Controlling behaviour is negative. Contrary to what’s been written here, a submissive person would not like this.
A submissive likes a dominant partner.



It’s quite different than having a dominant partner, which people se

[ProbablyClueless]

It probably could, if you're a naturally submissive, easy going person who likes/agrees with how the controlling person does things.

I personally wouldn't go for that.

[LazerBean]

Depends on how you define "working".

They can be functioning and efficient, but they will probably never be happy.

[pickles77]

A controlling person is a fearful person and as he controls you his fear will be instilled in you. It’s a miserable existence, really don’t let someone pull you into that.

[Paul09]

Only if you are submissive or like to be walked all over.

[rosemilk]

nope don't even go there

[Billlewis]

A controlling woman? Sure.

[Altheavas]

I can only speak for myself. No!

[sheikalana]

Only if you like to be controlled.

[dudeinohio]

Maybe for a while; but it will end, eventually.

[Yannae]

Not for me

[austinbooth]

Not at all

[jimmy2]

No makes it toxic