Who has the most control in your relationship?

Question

Do you have more control or does your partner? And I'm not talking about a relationship where one controls literally everything.

PinkAcid · Accepted Answer

i do although when I try to make it equal he just responds with "whatever you want to do" "its up to you" "i don't mind you decide" etc etc which can be annoying sometimes as it feels like I'm dating a yes man, he says he genuinely doesn't mind though as I always pick something he finds fun or likes and he's promised to speak up and say something if he doesn't agree

i do tend to override his decision on some things only because he's naive and too trusting; for example he was going to lend his car to a work colleague he barely talks (and generally shunned his attempts at friendship at work unless he wanted something or wanted to shove some work on him) to for the weekend because the guy has no car and wanted to go camping just because it was the polite thing to do and I told him no because he doesn't know the guy or what he's like (trustworthy?) which could potentially leave him without a car or a damaged car especially if he's putting a disassembled tent in it. turns out the reason the work colleague didn't have a car was because he didn't have a licence and couldn't drive well enough to get one!

SunshineLelek · Accepted Answer

Fortunately for me, neither me or my partner have a desire for control.

It's never been about who can control the other. We are secure enough in our abilities to be assertive yet respectful of each others' feelings so that eliminates any "control struggle".

I don't want to be with a man who seeks to control and I have no desire to control a man. I can't handle someone trying to boss me around, pressure me, or constantly control things. It's annoying and I find it very disrespectful. Especially seeing as I'm so generous to a fault that there's no reason for them to have a controlling approach with me. Being able to control a man is emasculating. I don't want a man who is not assertive enough in himself to stand up for himself. It can come off as weakness like what if there's a situation where I need him to take control, does he have it in him?

So yeah, neither of us control anything. We are two respectful partners with assertive personalities and no desire to control the other.

onemoreplease · Accepted Answer

I like to think that we have equal control...  there are some things that are more important to him, and areas where he's more knowledgeable, and in those cases I am happy to give him full control.  And vice versa.  When we argue about something, we generally give each other the chance to say what we need to say and be respectful even if we're angry.  It isn't always equal though, I think I have more "social" control than him (I'm more outgoing and make friends easily, I'm usually the one who keeps in touch with friends and makes our social plans,) while he has more financial control (he makes much more than I do and so he makes most decisions about money.)

moviedude714 · Accepted Answer

I'm surprised by the girls responses because normally girls expect guys to be the dominant one in the relationship, to lead the relationship

greyhorse · Accepted Answer

In bed, it should be men. lol.. :P Otherwise, respect each other and respect differences. :)

Moonrisekitten · Answer

I'd say me. And I think my boyfriend would agree. There is definitely lots of compromise and we are always doing things for each other and not just for ourselves. But I also think I ask for more out of the relationship. We both usually get what we ask for from each other... But since I ask the most, like romance, attention, small acts of kindness, I probably have more control. That makes me feel kind of bad saying that but I honestly think we both like it that way.  It's a close call though. Because if he says to get him a sandwich, I would happily do so. And if I asked him to rub my feet, he'd ask if I wanted lotion with that. But I only say I "wear the pants" or whatever because it kind of feels that way. Things actually do tend to go more my way if I honestly think about it. Good question. I'll definitely want to keep an eye on that. I want things to be fair.

Winteredrose5162 · Answer

I do, for the most part. My boyfriend doesn't really like taking charge but I've tried getting him to take charge more since it gets tiring to be the only one.

maferotaku · Answer

I think if both girl and guy, respect each other the control of the relationships is going to be equal 50% and 50% most of the relation ships were the guy or the girl are the controlling one doesn't work.

snowangle · Answer

It's pretty even, although I would say that he does.

aly-marie · Answer

I do. I know it should be equal, and I'm aware of my problems.

Anonymous · Answer

i think I do because he always asks what I want to do, and I tell him. he mostly goes along with what I want to do, but I ask for his opinion the same amount.

Anonymous · Answer

I think we're pretty equal but I might just have a tiny bit more than him.

Anonymous · Answer

I definitely do. I think its because he's more in love with me than I am with him.

Anonymous · Answer

Women should never be in control. These hoes can't control their emotions

whitneyalexandra · Answer

I do because he's not well with decision making.

bellabionda · Answer

Its team work. No one controls anything.

COCOCHANEL · Answer

we take turns

tiredofwaiting · Answer

It is about even

Anonymous · Answer

I do.

Anonymous · Answer

It looks about even

Who has the most control in your relationship?

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Who has the most control in your relationship?

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