Is one tiny slap really enough reason to break up?

Question

My boyfriend and I had a fight the other day, about my younger sister who has managed to get pregnant at 17 and he had ZERO sympathy, said she did it to herself because she sleeps around and I didn't think I immediately slapped him across the face for speaking that way, and he immediately told me to get my stuff, get out, and never contact him again.

I told him we can talk in a few days when he calms down but he told me that we are over, and called me abusive, but I think this is a massive overreaction.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

So having a different opinion [about your irresponsible little sister] is a reason to physically assault him?

What if he slapped you if you shared an opinion he didn't agree with? You would probably scream bloody murder, blackmail him, or call the cops.

You slapped him with the knowledge that he wasn't allowed to slap you back because you are a girl. If a guy slapped him, he would be justified in punching his lights out.

It cracks me up that you tried to minimize your behavior by referring to it as a "tiny" slap, insinuating that he is being a pussy. He wasn't harmed by the slap. The issue is, you totally disrespected him as if he was a bitch. You further disrespect him by implying that he is overreacting and being a little pussy.

I don't know if it is your parents or the people you hang out with, but you are messed up.

Now that he knows what you truly are, he's taking the only reasonable path. He's not a lowlife who will lower himself to your level. He's doing the smart thing by leaving you out with the garbage. I would do the same exact thing because I would never be able to respect you again.

I hope you learn a lesson and don't repeat this ghetto crap with the next man in your life.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I'll be honest. I'm definitely no feminist and I've read all the comments against you, but while he was just being honest, he was a bit out of line with his comment and it's related to your family, which you would obviously be defensive about if you love your family, which most people do.

And while I don't agree with abusive relationships, one slap out of impulse hardly counts as an abusive relationship, especially as a girl hitting a man. We're built differently. If it became a normal scenario I'd say yes... he should leave. But my opinion is, if he truly loved you and wanted to try to understand you, he would've given it another shot and told you to try and control your emotions in the future because if you slap him again, he's gone.

People are soft nowadays. Anything physical is immediately "red flag", when in reality it isn't always that simple.

Anyways, it's best not to dwell on it and move on. He clearly has. You know how to handle situations better in the future now. Take it as a learning experience.

petitedollbabee · Accepted Answer

Yes. He is not the one who overreacted. You slapped him due to disagreeing with what he said. You couldn’t act rationally or like an adult by trying to talk it through with him. Physical abuse of any kind should not be tolerated, especially over something as harmless as words. He’s done the right thing by breaking it off between you two. I hope that you learn from this.

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

He is right. Period.

Any action which ends with violating someone's rights should be punished. You are lucky he didn't call the police.

Assault and assault and battery are technically violent crimes. Generally speaking, an assault and battery charge will be a misdemeanor. The accused may face up to 93 days in jail and a $500.00 fine.

Finchie40 · Answer

Putting your hands on anyone is crossing a line , if someone can put their hands on you and you do nothing about it , they will do it again and again because you accepted it and they know they can get away with it , it’s actually abuse , just because you don’t like what someone says it doesn’t give ya a right to hit them period ,

AviatorTom · Answer

You and he obviously disagree. He sets the rules on what happens when someone hits him, not you, and he's done that.

Treat this as a learning experience. Don't go around slapping people just because they disagree with you.

Summeroflove · Answer

Yes. There assault you’re lucky you aren’t in jail. He’s right. If she didn’t sleep around she wouldn’t be pregnant.

NathanDavis · Answer

impulsive aggression is not a "tiny" thing, no...

if he says stupid things.. and you strike first and then tell them they are the ones who need to calm down, well... you two are not a good match at all, and you're better off apart, yes

Whitewulf · Answer

No he’s right and probably saving himself from going to jail in the future. If you are so quick to slap and bring things physical. It might be worse the next time.
Let me ask you this as a female. When you put hands on a man are you fully prepared to absorb the repercussions. Because if you keep that shit up you will find a man that believes in equality and equal rights. It would take all the strength I have to walk away the first time this happened. But assure you as the sun will rise in the morning, the second time would not only be the last time but you my dear are going to fkn sleep. Because if I’m going to jail I’m going to make it worth it. And I would never raise my hand to a female. But if you pull that shit I’m telling you better be prepared to take one on the chin.

TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff · Answer

If you said something he didn't like and he slapped you across the face, you and every woman under the sun would scream murder. You'd either leave him and/or have every female under the Sun tell you to leave him.

Men are no longer expected to accept the misandry of abusive female partners. What you did was wrong and in future you should refrain from physically abusing others. That you're female and he male is no excuse. He recognises that he deserves better and it is best not to blame the victim or try and justify yourself in this situation.

Truthatanycost · Answer

He was correct in his response. The fact that you thought he was overacting is a major redflag. Someone that physically abuses another is likely to try to undermine (gaslight) the receivers perception of that abuse. I recommend any person to respond in the same way. Eject all toxicity from your life as quickly and thoroughly as possible and never look back.

Vesuvius87 · Answer

Is he your ex boyfriend by now? You need to learn to handle different opinions without resorting to slapping. Like other pósters already mentioned, if he had a younger sister that got pregnant and it was him slapping you after saying a similar comment, he would be a scumbag.

If anything it's really you that needs to calm down, not him. He's removing himself from someone without self-control.

Levin · Answer

Fair play to your boyfriend.

Just the way you have worded your post is riddled with a lack of responsibility, anger and an inability to respect other people's opinions.

There is never any justification for violence in any relationship since the purpose of a relationship in my opinion is to feel safe against the insanity of the world.

You got slapped back in the sense that he won't put up with your bullshit.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

You're lucky you didn't get charged. You're even luckier he didn't punch you straight in the mouth. You lay hands on another person expect them to lay hands back. Your female privilege is why you aren't going to the dentist right now. He's right to leave you. Do better next time.

Staximus · Answer

If you have no control over yourself and get violent when he calls a spade a spade, then what are you going to do to him if he really pisses you off? Probably hit him over the head with something. It's not his fault your sister is a skeezer and not smart enough to avoid getting pregnant. Get a hold of yourself, you're lucky he's a good guy and didn't hit you back.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm guessing your attitude about it would be very different if he was the one who slapped you. What you did was digusting and he did the right thing by dumping you.

Anonymous · Answer

Of course it is. I can't stand women who think it's no big deal to physically assault men and then hide behind their gender. If I were him I would have done you the favor of teaching you a lesson by immediately slapping you back. And then I would have broken up with you.

AmeerX · Answer

He knows if he let this one slap slide, you will slap him again sooner or later thinking that he deserves it. Sorry but I think he is not coming back to you.
I think you overreacted too much over this.

linka_pat307 · Answer

You both are being unreasonable, I mean I would feel bad if someone speaks about my sis that way but you should have controlled your anger what if he was being truthful about things you weren't aware about and true be told men hate women who try to be violent with them to the point of violently touching him , that kills their ego

MsBell2018 · Answer

Yes, I'd break up & tell you to leave as well. Physical violence is never excusable. Even if it was a "tiny slap " to you, it's a huge disrespect to him.

Anonymous · Answer

You physically abused him, and that makes you a domestic abuser. Would you cunsel a woman to stay in an abusive relationship? Or, do you think it's ok for women to physically abuse men but not vice versa?

I would have dumped your ass too. Hopefully you'll learn to not assault men in teh futire.

spartan55 · Answer

Welcome to being accountable for your actions! You don't get to put your hands on someone and then just act like it's no big deal. Maybe next time you will think before hitting someone.

exitseven · Answer

Okay, if a guy ever hit a girl everyone would say kick him out and never see him again. I guess he feels the same way

admles · Answer

Yep. I don't care if you're female, you don't get a free pass to ASSAULT someone. Had he slapped you, would you be asking the same question? Of course not.  Hit someone, expect to get hit back.

9in_Serpent · Answer

Honestly be thankful and get away from him asap! If that's his attitude towards women calling them "sluts" and has zero empathy or compassion and not only that but says that about your sister to your face and thinks that a slap is not a proper response? And is willing to immediately break up and kick you out like that? Than you definitely don't want to be with that misogynistic narcissistic toxic asshole!

ItsMariusz · Answer

Let me just join the chain of people here answering to your question...  yes

Yoursweetgirl · Answer

I thought that he hit you and my answer was immediate yes but then I read it and my answer is still yes.  You should have used your words.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Sorry, but an intention blow, however light, out of anger is enough for me to dump a girl, too.

DextroShade · Answer

Imagine the roles were reversed: his sister got pregnant at 17, you called her a slut, and then he slapped you. What would you do?

douride2 · Answer

Sorry about it girl but I would put you out the door to. He is right you way over reacted.

DreamLife7 · Answer

He should've slapped your dumb ass back. Glad he kicked u out. Grow tf up

Charliefretz329 · Answer

Hitting is abuse. How would you have felt if he slapped you? It sounds toxic AF. I should’ve left many relationships at the first sign of abuse because it’s a harbinger of things to come.

You should get some therapy and work on yourself

Paul09 · Answer

Do you know how many people if love to slsp or punch? It's called self control. Once you go off it can end up bad, like it did. Like other people said, what if he slapped you, how would you have reacted?

Cutegirl06 · Answer

He's right! It is abusive. If he slapped you I bet you wouldn't be saying he overreacted.

James_Likes_PPL · Answer

U could be in jail right now. That’s illegal.

zagor · Answer

Maybe he pictured you behaving that way with potential future children rather than with an adult male and didn't want any part of it.

sheikalana · Answer

Violence is unacceptable. Imagine if it was the other way around, him spalling you? Best thing you can do for now is stay away from him.

Anonymous · Answer

So, I'm going to break from the others here and say he overreacted unless it's his red line. Overreacted only if it was the first time and he didn't explain that's not acceptable. Some guys like most women won't put up with any violence.

Anonymous · Answer

He’s fine, you’re an absolute red flag anyway

msc545 · Answer

I wonder what your reaction would have been if he had hit you...

Nerdvana · Answer

If a guy slapped your sister, would you be ok with it?

OddBeMe · Answer

Your sister obvi missed her sex ed course along with her periods. But if you’re that sensitive to truth, maybe get a new boyfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

Flip the genders, you'd have called your male figure to put him out of commission permanently So kicking you out was mild by comparison

Twalli · Answer

If that is really the only time you hit him, it's an overreaction. I have feeling it's not though.

Anonymous · Answer

So not only are you abusive but you're emotionally abusive as well minimizing his feelings.

Anonymous · Answer

Would you stay with him if he slapped you because you said something he didn't like?

jjj101010 · Answer

Learn from it and move on.

Is one tiny slap really enough reason to break up?

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Is one tiny slap really enough reason to break up?

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