How to make my girlfriend stay?

[eli2233]

I cheated on my girlfriend and she said she doesn’t want to be in a relationship because she’s scared of getting hurt again because it has happened multiple times before but I am making an effort so that it doesn’t happen again therapy, counseling, meditation and everything I can to prevent it any help would appreciated and I know I’ve messed up and don’t deserve it but I want to show her the love she deserves

[Anonymous]

By letting her go. Don’t try to even get her back before you get your ducks in a row. Actually commit to better yourself, you’ve fucked up multiple times as you said so if you love her (which I don’t think you do bcs you cheated on her multiple times but hey maybe now you realized that you do love her and wants to make it work) you’ll let her go until you’re 110% sure that you won’t make the same mistake again. If you don’t want to hurt her, then just let her go.

[eli2233]

I was going to try letting her go and no contact but she isn’t okay like mentally and constantly like makes it seem like she wants to end her life and she has no one else there for her so I am but then I can’t give her, her space

[Opinion Owner]

Oh no… well you still gotta let her go romantically, but you can still be there to support her as a friend! Try to hold off on trying to get back together with her until you’re absolutely certain that you have changed, otherwise it’ll only break her even more

[Opinion Owner]

Have you thought about why you cheated tho? Was there anything missing in your relationship or are you just having trouble resisting the temptations from other girls?

[eli2233]

Nothing was missing in the relationship, I cheated because i lacked communication in the relationship and this left me feeling un validated in the things i desired or when I needed support or reassurance I wasn’t able to voice this and it left me feeling like oh she doesn’t care but in reality it was my fault, but I am getting therapy to help with this

[eli2233]

She has said she doesn’t want to get back together multiple times so I am confused on if I should still be here for me or take my space

[Opinion Owner]

Ah okay, well no matter what your reasoning is behind the cheating it’s still not right nevertheless but I’m glad you’re at least working on yourself to get better!

I think it’s best to just give her space then, you’ve already hurt her too much and she probably needs time to process everything without having you near her.

[Anonymous]

Was it just once? With one person? Or were you the one that cheated multiple times on her? If you’ve cheated repeatedly then she's clearly not enough for you and she deserves better. My man and I were only able to forgive eachother for stupid shit because we werent official at the time. But we did agree to be exclusive and when he broke that, I could not believe I took him back. I think I only did because what he did was something dumb online. Had it been physical and in person, I wouldn’t still be with him. Now it does not matter if he does something online or in person. because both are ground for breaking up. I wouldn't stick around again. I have forgiven him but I don’t trust him like before and this second chance will be his last. Do better.

[chanty305]

Let her go. Even if she talks about wanting to kill herself. She is just bluffing because she has not been able to adjust being alone yet and coming to terms with the relationship being over. You need to be the stronger one because obviously you are by your choices meaning you were not that into her in the first place, and just ignore her now and do not contact her ever again or let her come back. That is the best gift you can give her and years from now she will be relieved for you not letting her come back to this toxic relationship.

[HelpfulWoman]

😂😂😂😂😂
The time to "make the effort' was the first time.