How to be unselfish? What the cause of it?

[Anonymous]

Im so selfish

[StarWarGirl]

With my life experience now I feel, being selfish is the best thing. It means we do love ourselves we care for ourselves. And in this world no body is really going to care about you in real for ever but you yourself only. So you don't need to feel guilty about it.

[Asker]

Im so selfish but then in the past I used to be nice. But then people hurt me I've been burned so many times people are cruel they only love like you if you can offer them something or they can use you I learned it the hard way people are selfish around me so why be selfish but then I wonder what happened to the old me? I always thought what happened I used to be so giving kind now I always doubt the intentions of people and I've become selfish

[StarWarGirl]

It's totally alright. There is nothing wrong with you. You have got hurt so just your heart is being tough that's it. And there is nothing wrong in it. You still are feeling guilty about it and doubting you and wants to change yourself that shows your heart is still good. You are a good person.

You don't need to fit into society by their decided rules. "Telling lie is bad thing" or "Being selfish is bad" these are lessons for small kid not for the real world. Grow up this is the true reality of this world and your life your heart is teaching you how to protect yourself there is nothing wrong about it.

Stop feeling guilty. You are very much normal. You are very much nice person.

[StarWarGirl]

Imagine yourself again when you again get back to your old self sacrificing yourself for others. Doing things what you don't like just because others wants it and you don't want to look "selfish".

[StarWarGirl]

This is not that you are being bad or selfish but you have just learnt to take your side, you have learnt to speak for yourself, you have learnt to take stand for what you want to do or what not no matter what others thinks about you what others say about it. Believe me it's THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON. You are growing into adult. Embrace this growth. You are strong and you are nice person. I believe you. Take my words.

[Asker]

Thanks I sometimes hurt my parents too but I felt bad afterwards its like I regret saying mean things to them unintentionally. This morning when I was walking in park there's little voice inside me saying that I have to change to be nicer again and forgive the people who hurt me I guess thats why Im still angry because of what I've experienced in the past and not letting go of it. I regret what I did but I always shoot myself

[StarWarGirl]

No no no, No dear. It's totally fine. YOU ARE HURT SO IT'S TOTALLY FINE YOU TO EXPRESS OUT YOUR PAIN. With time you would definitely learn the art of let go and the art of forgiveness too. Till you have your pain inside you, you would be keep being rude and hurtful sometimes. It's totally fine. If you would bottle up these emotions again it would be there forever inside you and you may get some mental health issues later on because of it. Try to let it out try to make yourself free from your those pain. Try to forgive those people who hurt you in past in your heart.

And about the hurt you are giving to others, you can be little bit careful and conscious about it. But see if you are hurting them being right, telling truth, standing for yourself then IT'S TOTALLY FINE. You can't please everyone. You only and only can be truthful and honest towards yourself what you should be.

[StarWarGirl]

Talk to people express out anger if you feel to. It's totally fine. Try writing diary. Talk to as many people as you can. Or there is one best way. Write down all your emotions in a page whenever you feel angry frustrated. And after you calm down read that and see what's bothering you, see what's hurting you see where are you being right ir where you are being mean. Repeat it whenever you get angry or such kind. It would definitely help you to calm yourself down and to understand yourself and to handle yourself.

[StarWarGirl]

All the best dear, get well soon. Get free from all your pains sooner and move ahead on your path to future. Leaving all your hurtful past behind. Be thankful to your past for making you stronger as you are now try to see good in all happened bad to you. Get yourself free from your own pain.

[Asker]

Thanks girl I will. 🙂 Wish me luck for healing and for the better me

[StarWarGirl]

No luck. I wish you with full buckets of inner strengths and positivity. 😊 Take care of yourself and Shine Brighter!!! World is waiting for your beam of lights. 😊

[StarWarGirl]

Because luck is like lift, it can fail sometimes, but you and your inner strength would definitely take you to your destination. So don't misunderstand and get sad that I didn't wish you with luck 😊

[StarWarGirl]

Your strength your hardwork is stairs and luck is lift. Believe in yourself. When luck would be in favour it would support you definitely but even if it is against you yourself would be supporting yourself to be moving ahead. 😊

[Asker]

Hehe thanks girl you're so inspiring

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, although I respect your desire to become less selfish, if I were there, I'd be honored if you were extremely selfish in your dealings with me -- especially if you're not letting me have anything in return, but that's just me ❤️

[ProbablyClueless]

I found that it's easiest to be unselfish when you know that you have what you need.

[Anonymous]

Start caring for others. Being spoiled is one reason why that happens.

[Starssmile]

Read books to improve your empathy