How to become a stone hearted and selfish person - I am tired of giving and giving and giving and being hurt on all times?

[Anonymous]

[HollyK21]

You don’t have to be stone hearted and selfish, just set healthy boundaries with the people who try using you. Learn how to say no to people in the way you feel most comfortable. Remind yourself that you aren’t a bad person for declining something, and if anything, the other person is shitty for taking advantage of your kindness.

[dynamicyandere]

Be careful what you wish for.


Going that way can make you feel suicidal when you can’t feel anything or experience any joy in life anymore.


You just need to learn how to set boundaries and stand by them.


If you’re sick and tired of being taken advantage of, require people to earn your trust, rather than to give it indiscriminately.


Make sure that you take the time to negotiate things.


Look for win-wins.


Sure they may be getting what they want but are you getting what YOU want as well?


Learn to create arrangements where everyone is happy with the outcome, rather than feeling like getting a bad deal all the time.


Moderation, my friend.


No need to swing to either extreme.

[goaded]

I agree with almost all of this, the only exception is the "require people to earn your trust" part; I start with that, but accept that people are going to lose it.

The golden rule is to treat people the way you'd like to be treated; I use that same rule on people who treat me badly, it's obviously the way they want to be treated!

[serious]

You have to stop caring for that, make yourself tough from the inside and mentally.

[LazerBean]

You don't have to become a jerk to stop that from happening, just be smart.

[johnnyknows]

a 30 to 35yr old female? Don't give anymore.. now it's time for you to RECEIVE. If you can't receive as well as you can give then it's time to let go of that controlling habit and start letting someone treat you. It's only healthy.

Either way, you'll figure it out. we always do as we age

[goaded]

Don't stop being a decent person, just get better at spotting people who will use you without giving anything back.

[goaded]

Saying "no, I don't want to do that" is not being selfish, but anybody who gets upset about it is (they're allowed to be disappointed, but they should respect your needs and desires).