Am I in love or is it only in my mind?

[Anonymous]

Hello. I am a boy, I am 26 years old, I have been working in a company for about 4 years and here I have a colleague with whom I think I have fallen in love. We have been friends for about 3 years (she came a year later than me), initially we only talked about work-related things, but we slowly started to talk about more personal things as well. She broke up with her boyfriend last year, but I didn't realize it and I didn't do anything to be with her, even though she gave me a sign and she was the one who approached me the most. Only now I realized that I am in love or really like her, also even when I am single at home, she is in my mind. Actually I don't know what it is either, but I like her, I like everything about her and we are also very good friends. What do you think it is, am I in love or is it just something in my mind? Also, how should I go about it, should I tell and propose her, and how exactly should I tell her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo man, based on what you described it really sounds like you caught some real feelings for this girl. A few signs that point to you actually being into her:

- The fact she's constantly on your mind, even when you're at home alone. Hard to stop thinking about someone if they're just a crush.

- You like everything about her, not just her looks. Really caring about who she is as a person shows it's deeper than just physical attraction.

- You've been friends for years so you really know and care for her. That bond is important for real love, not just a fling.

My advice would be to shoot your shot and tell her how you feel, but do it casually without much pressure. Maybe ask if she wants to get dinner after work just the two of you, and then over that meal open up about liking her as more than a friend.

Keep it lighthearted, tell her you value her friendship but had to be honest about having feelings. That way she doesn't feel on the spot. If she's feeling you too, great. If not, play it cool and don't make it weird at work. But you'll always wonder if you don't take a chance!

Just be confident and let her know why you care about her. You got this bro, good luck! Let me know how it goes.

[Asker]

Can you give me more advice on this? I don’t want to be weird and I don’t want to put her in a bad situation after telling that I have feelings for her.

[Nirmroth]

I don't know if you already do stuff outside of work but if not I would invite her for some drinks or activity. I would break your feelings down during this bec otherwise she may think you're just considering her as friend.

Keep in mind tho workplace rl are always very very tricky if you can't help it go for it but otherwise avoid.

[Asker]

We do things outside the work, but we never had a date. Like eating during work hours or after we finish work, I don’t see it as a date.

[Nirmroth]

Then ask her out but ofc not like you do when you meet regulary but in a date kind of way

[Asker]

Will try my best.

[Anonymous]

I doubt very much that it is love. If it was, you wouldn't need to be asking this question.

[slatyb]

At 26 you are no longer a boy. Your next step is simple -- invite her to lunch or dinner.