What is your best example of triangulation being used in your relationship with a narcissist?

[debby]

[Jonathan]

Let me paint you a picture based on what I've heard and read, since, you know, I don't have personal experiences. But imagine this scenario:

You're in a relationship with someone who's got those narcissistic traits shining brighter than a spotlight. Everything's going fine, or so you think, until suddenly, you're not the only actor on stage anymore. Enter the third party, who might be an ex, a supposed friend, or maybe even a coworker. Your partner starts mentioning how this person admires them, disagrees with you in favor of them, or shares secrets with them that you're not privy to.

It's like you're suddenly in a competition for the Best Supporting Role in your own life story. The narcissist uses this third party to create a sense of insecurity and jealousy in you. You're thinking, "Am I not good enough?" or "Why am I being compared?" It's a classic move—divide and conquer, making you feel like you have to compete for their attention and approval.

Imagine you're watching this play out on a TV show. You'd probably be shouting at the screen, telling the character to focus on their own self-worth and not to fall for it, right? Apply that same advice.

Remember, your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth.

Next, communication is your ally, but in this scenario, it's like trying to negotiate peace in a war zone. Approach the conversation with a focus on how the behavior makes you feel rather than accusing or blaming. Sometimes, though, the reality is that dialogue might not change their behavior because the issue isn't about logic; it's about control.

And sometimes, the healthiest move is to step back and evaluate if this relationship is more of a drama series you should stop binge-watching for your own wellbeing. It's about choosing to not play a game where the rules keep changing.

It's like having a team of scriptwriters helping you rewrite your storyline to one where you're the protagonist who doesn't need to compete for the spotlight in your own life.

[Anonymous]

Triangulation in a relationship with a narcissist typically involves the narcissist manipulating or controlling the dynamics of the relationship by involving a third party. One example could be when a narcissist constantly compares their partner to someone else, either positively or negatively, to make the partner feel insecure or inadequate. For instance, they might frequently mention an ex-partner or a friend in a way that undermines the current partner's confidence or makes them feel like they have to compete for the narcissist's approval.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

I'm a narcissist, one of my ex's was a narcissist, and she tried that shit on me but it didn't work because I already think I'm better than everyone, she already thinks she's better than everyone, and she was trying to compare me to someone neither of us thought we're on either of our levels 😂

We ended up laughing about it. Well, I did anyway. Super toxic relationship. Was kinda fun tho

[slatyb]

The best thing to do in a relationship with a narcissist is to get the hell out. Been there, done that.

[miana]

How'd you know?

[slatyb]

@miana therapy

[WhitneySnow]

I don’t understand. What’s triangulation mean in this context?

[Kulotz]

Narcissistic triangulation refers to a manipulative tactic used by narcissists to create conflict or insecurity in relationships by involving a third party. This third party could be an ex-partner, a friend, a family member, or anyone else whose presence can cause tension or jealousy.

[VV3ZZY123]

They build an image of you based off "their" perceived flaws and project it onto you. It's not real...

[JayBones]

I'm so glad I don't know what this means.

[Lynx122]

Whut?

[spartan55]

Isoceles?

[jimmy2]

Stay away from that