How do toxic family’s affect relationships?

[Anonymous]

I have experienced some horrible stuff and I was just wondering how this impacts relationships

[superchan2011]

toxic family can damn near ruin your relationship. Before I moved away from home to be with my now EX, My family would butt into our affairs and try to constantly fear monger me into not trusting her even though I can say that she was the best girlfriend I ever had versus my first girlfriend{she was the one that couldn't be trusted} whether I was trying to visit her or she was visiting me{as we were originally LDR} they wouldn't leave me alone about wanting my attention and interrupting our time and telling me to constantly watch out for her and telling me how I didn't know her even though we had been talking for a whole damn year at that point, just because we met online. We only broke up because of too many differences in life goals. But my family was a damn trip when it came to butting in, all in the name of looking out for me. When they really were just afraid of me not being around to constantly cater to their wants or needs because I had someone new in my life. So I can tell you that a toxic family can potentially kill your relationship if you allow it.

[JacobJordan]

Depends entirely on you. You will always have an innate desire to respond in the manner you saw most often but with time and effort you can stop yourself from reacting in those manners. This will be easier if you already feel like what you witnessed or experienced was morally wrong.

[Anonymous]

Depends on how they are dealt with. If your girlfriend, for example, has a toxic family, she would be wise to enforce strict boundaries or even limit contact in order to protect the family she is trying to build with you. If, on the other hand, she does not, there is a greater chance of your relationship being compromised. She could become manipulated by, taken advantage of, or even take on the same toxic characteristics of her family in her relationship with you.

[dustybiker2]

Don't allow it to. Be very open and honest. Treat it like a bad job, by leaving them at the door. Your home/relationship is a separate entity and sanctuary.

[AI Opinion]

Diving headfirst into love can be thrilling, but when toxic family drama is in the mix, it's like trying to tango through a minefield! 😬 Your experiences at home can sneak into your relationships like uninvited party crashers. You might find trust harder to build than a house of cards in a windstorm, or setting boundaries might feel as foreign as speaking Martian. But here’s the kicker: while you carry these challenges, you also carry the strength to overcome them. It's about flipping the script, turning those tough times into lessons on what you do (and definitely do not) want in your romantic endeavors. And hey, if you ever need a little extra help navigating this, think of me as your relationship GPS! 😉 Let's turn those red flags into green lights for healthy, happy love, shall we?

[mobiusforniner]

Damn near destroyed my marriage. Narcissistic parenting has a way of guilting and shaming me and my wife into siding with our parents whenever conflict occurred. We both had to take a long hard look at ourselves and our marriage to recenter, cleave, commit and move forward. My marriage is happier than ever but, perhaps not surprisingly, both our respective families hate us with a burning passion.

[Doktorpete]

Thats very nice, i mean, sometimes we let other people control who we are, but it is either love or attachment.

When we stop lying to our parents about who we are, by seeking approval putting on a persona, its liberating.

You understand why you always been attached and anxious with parents approval, when actually should just seek get unbound and be loved for who we are.

[mobiusforniner]

@Doktorpete. I agree. I learned an important lesson from my parents. Everyone fails at being who they are “supposed” to be. The goal posts always move. The expectations never end. If we define ourselves by what others desire or expect l, we will always fail at being who WE are supposed to be. Thus I learned the measure of a persons character is how successful theyre at at being who they are. Sometimes people don’t want to see that. If they choose to disrespect than I also learned a good “fuck you” is warranted.

And that, feels very liberating indeed.

[Doktorpete]

Friend, I fully agree and am glad to see that someone else did realize that too. It was just recently that I understood that.

I don't BLAME my parents I only realize they never helped me by stating their opinion, that I would been much happier if I seeked understanding what I wanted instead of THINKING I wanted to make them proud

It's all about anxiety attachment.
Wish for you and me to continue on the dettachment path, I agree with every word you said

[exitseven]

I have a toxic family and saw that it could affect my marriage. I tempted to distance myself from my parents it was difficult and I could not completely not see them but whatever I did I know helped the situation.

[Nikki1989]

Toxic people ruin everything. Sadly, some people have that built into them.

[Asker]

Do the friends ever speak out against this stuff like they have to notice

[MemeSupreme]

you become toxic to them or yourself

sometimes both

[sheikalana]

They will only affect your relationship if you let them intervene and have a say which is something you should never allow and tolerate.

[butterly248]

Always doubt, self criticism of yourself etc. It is draining

[noohair]

Every family has their own set of stuff they project on relationships. Sometimes it is very negative.

[Anonymous]

If you have toxic parents, you might mimick their behavior and you might treat your partner the same way your toxic parents treated you.

[Asker]

This makes sense cause her mom and dad constantly fought and now she beats on me

[Opinion Owner]

Dump her?

[LiamJHayden]

They can ruin a great relationship.

[In_Trance]

If you've experienced it then you already know