Why would a colleague be super friendly & flirt wildly with me but change around his friends who are petty & make fun?

[Anonymous]

[robhazelnut]

I have no favor towards anyone in this situation.
On an instictual level, ostracism gives a similar brain reaction to being punched in the face. The more people ostracising, the more "punches" felt, unless one has deep command of their brain. Deep down, his mind was most likely more afraid of losing social access to all of his bros than to losing it with you.

[Asker]

Yeah, lacking in a back one really I guess.

[Asker]

*backbone

[robhazelnut]

That sort of backbone can be strengthened by a willingness to see what happens while maintaining integrity- in his case, willing to see if his bros would actually support (or at least accept) him flirting with you.

[Asker]

Yeah. We’ll see

[robhazelnut]

Yeah. We'll always see 🙂

[HateyouxD]

I had an ex boyfriend who would do this. They only change because that's how he actually is and is different with you because he wants something from you

[Asker]

Yeah my thoughts exactly