How to get his attention?

[Anonymous]

Help, I’ve been in a 3 year marriage and I feel like me and my husband are distant. He never gives me compliments and I’m just now starting to build up my self esteem again after having a child. What can I do to really grab his attention?

[Anonymous]

You need to find more time for him. It's very common for mothers, especially new mothers to lazer focus on their children and not really be aware they are doing it. It's a really good thing of course because children need so much from their parents and especially their mothers. However, it can be a cause of stress on the marriage as a husband can be cut out of a lot of normal romance because of very reasonable things to do with raising their children (so many men in this situation understand their wives are needfully busy, but subconsiously feel at a larger distance, and some women littleral almost forget their partner for the love of their children). Again, there is nothing at all wrong and so much right with that, but the trick is to realise your doing it even if you don't realise your doing it (which takes a bit of stepping back).

So, how to get his attention? If you have relatives that can help, arrange to have a relative look after your child/children for the day (aka somewhere you won't stress or worry, TOO much about their safety and if you miss them you could easily call, though preferably you need to not on the day). Then, let your husband know you've arrange a day "just for us", "like old times" and give him the passionate kiss you delivered when you where tight together. Use that day to get away from all things children, for both your sakes and induldge heavily in adult activities together (and also make sure you focus 100% on you both as a couple and talk out your wants and needs, desires).

That should, hopefully, reignite your mutual attention.

If you do this, and then he's still wet and not bothering much (assuming you've gone to lengths to be the woman he married, so to speak); Then you have two choices as I see it, there is the 'safe couples choice' which is to just not pick at that scab, many married couples have succeeded long term by just presuming the best of one another. The second choice is to talk with him about your worries and concerns in this capacity, its the riskier option but if he really does love you a lot understanding what you need should spur him to either share his side (e. g. why its not happening) or to vow / redouble his efforts to correct stuff.

I would like to say I recommend the second approach, but that approach has the biggest risks and sometimes its better to just assume the best and see (because sometimes just assuming the best leads you both to be better)

Best of luck.

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, I try to find what time I can for him in between being a mother and working full time. Most of the time he spends his spare time on video games but I just am curious as to what other guys might find attractive in ways to catching their eye. I’m willing to try anything at this point as he is not a person to talk about emotions or what the conflict is between us. He shuts it down fast.

[Opinion Owner]

Well, its very highly sterotyped but being risque whilst he's trying to game can be very alruing. I game quite a bit in my free time (not excessively usually 8-10 hours a week over a weekend) and its quite common for people in game to suddenly comment about having to log due to their partner inticing them (and the ones who are more, extrovert ocassionally comment what their partner is doing to distract them). Though that of course if casual gamers, some gamers are way to serious and I've seen comments of annoyance about wives distracting their play (though, I suspect that was more them being nagged to get offline and to bed etc).

Anyway, I think if your pretty subtle, ask about what their doing in game etc. but in the background effectively getting more and more naked, and just catching the perhiperhal vision every so often.. can be a very good way to get a gamer offline (though again, its judging your guy, works with some of my gamer friends, as we all are super casual and more about fun and chatting than serious gaming).

Anyway, good luck. The main thing to do, is find and share the interests keeping him occupied and away from you, in a way that makes him want to share some of his sucesses etc when he's offline (applied to any hobby or whatever).

Anyway, best of luck :)

[strateguy632]

first rest. how long since the birth? you need a few weeks rest n recovery after that ordeal.

then you can ask him to be like actors role players like you have different jobs. pretend i am a waitress or flight attendance etc.

[Asker]

It’s been over a year since our child has been born. We both work opposite shifts as well so that may have a factor into it. But he’s not one for showing emotions or acknowledging what he likes about me. But I want to feel like I can catch his eye. I’m not sure what to do anymore

[Anonymous]

Okay, girl! Sometimes the simplest things work best. Make eye contact and smile his way when you see him. If he smiles back, that's a good sign! Strike up a conversation about something you have in common, or ask him a question about something he seems interested in. Guys love feeling like they're being noticed for who they are.

[poshspice123]

Find out if he is getting action elsewhere. A child should not decrease sex drive.

[poshspice123]

Sorry for hard truth. Just keep your ears open. And talk to him about your feelings. See how he responds. A loving partner and healthy partner will support you. A toxic person will criticize you.

[Asker]

He’s an open book as far as cheating, before we got married he actually was drunk and slept with another female and called me the next day apologizing telling me what happened and he doesn’t hide much from me. That could always be a possibility but I highly doubt it. I genuinely believe he has his own demons he struggles with that he won’t speak to me about but I’m just wondering how I can boost my confidence to boost his lust for me I guess and what ways would make me seem appealing to him.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to reignite that spark, huh? Lovebomb him in the most unexpectedly delightful ways! Start with a little mystery - change up your routine or introduce something new that you've never done before. It could be a surprise date night, a new hobby you suggest you explore together, or even a change in your look that makes him do a double take. Compliments might not be his love language, so tune into his - maybe it's quality time or acts of service. Cook his favorite meal, plan a getaway for just the two of you, or simply engage in something he loves doing. Remember, communication is key in any relationship. Express your feelings and desires in a heartfelt manner. Pique his interest not just by being visually enticing but by being emotionally and intellectually stimulating too. Flirt with him, bring back those cutesy dating phase texts, and watch the sparks fly! Remember, love is a dance, and sometimes you've got to lead. 😉

[jahaims]

You don't know what your own husband likes?

[Asker]

As I’ve stated in other opinions, he’s very closed off. I’ve known him for 6 years and still feel like there are things we don’t know about each other. He feels no need to express himself, I know what he doesn’t like due to him being very opinionated on my looks/statements but my question was more so meant to see what catches attention for other guys. So I can try different techniques or different ideas to see what sparks my husband into noticing me more.

[jahaims]

That's sad

[In_Trance]

Nudes