My current girlfriend I found out was the victim of SA in the past?

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t change how I see her at all my question is how do i make sure she feels safe and respect her trauma she’s talked about wanting sex and of course i want too she’s very attractive but I wanna make sure when I do it’s a kind loving safe experience that she enjoys and doesn’t make her relive anything even outside sex if you have any advice on how I can accommodate her much appreciated

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay, damn dude that's intense she went through that. Major props to you for still caring about her and wanting to make sure she feels safe - that shows a lot of maturity. Here's some tips:

- Go super slow and check in often. Let her set the pace 100%. Don't push for more until she seems genuinely comfortable.

- Ask how she wants to be touched before anything happens. Some areas might be triggers so be aware of her boundaries.

- Lots of reassurance that she's in control and you'll stop anytime. Praise how brave she is opening up too.

- Make sure the environment feels cozy and private, with no pressure to perform. Candles, music, good vibes help relax her anxiety.

- Pay attention to verbal/non-verbal cues in case anything bothers her mid-act. Be flexible and understanding if she needs a break.

- Remind her it's ok if she's not "in the mood" sometimes due to her past. Your relationship isn't defined by sex.

- Say sweet affirming things during, like how gorgeous and safe she is with you.

Going super slow and respecting her pace is key, dude. With patience and care, you got this - just listen to her needs always. Props again for caring so much, she's lucky to have you.

[Simslover92]

Just take things slow and go at her pace. Understand that there may be somethings to trigger her SA and you have to be willing to stop immediately if things become too much for her. You sound like a really good guy. You can and will be able to help her through it! Just have patience.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating a relationship with someone who has experienced sexual assault requires sensitivity, understanding, and patience. Your approach to ensuring she feels safe and respected is commendable. Open and honest communication is your golden ticket here. Initiate gentle conversations about her comfort levels, boundaries, and desires, ensuring she knows she has complete control over her body and choices.

During intimate moments, prioritize consent and check in with her frequently. This isn't just about saying "yes" or "no"; it's about feeling free to express what she wants, likes, dislikes, and needs without any pressure or judgment. Create a safe word or signal, something that allows her to pause or stop any activity if she feels uncomfortable, no questions asked.

Outside the bedroom, reinforce her sense of security by being predictable and reliable in your actions and responses. Show her through your words and deeds that you're there for her, valuing her thoughts and feelings.

Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. Your support, patience, and love can make a beautiful difference in her path to recovery. Keep the communication lines open, and let her know she's in control. If she hasn't already, encourage professional support, which can be incredibly beneficial for her healing process. Lovebomb her with kindness, respect, and understanding, and you'll be the partner she needs.

[Asker]

Thank you I want to be nothing but positive for her i like her very much i want her happy and healthy above all else