He forgets things I tell him how to deal with it?

Question

He cannot focus on two things at the same time.. Whenever he plays video games or looks at his phone he imitates as he listens but in the end, he always forgets the things I say which makes me super mad and I cannot control my anger about it anymore.. I find it very irresponsible. How to deal with it?

comedy · Accepted Answer

When someone forgets things you've told them, especially if it's because they're distracted by games or their phone, it can feel like they're not valuing what you say. Here are a few ideas to help manage this:

Choose the Right Moment: Try to talk to him when he’s not distracted. If he’s playing video games or on his phone, he’s likely not giving you his full attention. Wait for a time when he’s more available to listen.

Get His Attention: Before you start talking, make sure you have his attention. Ask him to pause his game or put down his phone. Eye contact can really help here.

Be Clear and Concise: Sometimes people forget because they’re not fully processing what’s being said. Try to be as clear and concise as possible, and maybe even repeat the key points.

Follow-Up: After you’ve told him something, follow up with a quick reminder. This could be a gentle verbal reminder or even a text message.

Positive Reinforcement: Praise him when he does remember something important. Positive reinforcement can sometimes be more effective than expressing frustration.

Express Your Feelings: Let him know how it makes you feel when he forgets. Be honest but not accusatory. “I feel really frustrated when you forget things I tell you because it makes me feel like I’m not being heard.”

Set Boundaries: If it's a recurring issue, you might need to set some boundaries about phone or game usage during certain times, like meals or important conversations.
Consider Underlying Issues: Sometimes, forgetfulness and inability to focus can be signs of underlying issues like ADHD.

Self-Care for Your Anger: It's also important to manage your own emotions. Practice techniques to calm down, like deep breathing or taking a break when you feel your anger rising.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Resentment isn’t a good sign into a relationship… Hmm what is it he’s forgetting, important things or just small things? Maybe let him know you wanna have more quality time and his full attention to be able to connect more. And when he’s playing games, give him that space to enjoy it separately.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Solution is not to tell him important stuff while he’s playing, yeah?

Guys are visual creatures. When you’re talking to him, make sure his eyes are on you so you know he’s listening and hearing you.

Chazmatazz269 · Accepted Answer

If it’s just daily jibber jabber, you’re probably overreacting. If you have something important that it’s necessary he remembers, tell him when he’s not distracted and, this is VERY important, tell him how important it is to you that he fully listens and retains what you are saying and WHY.
Most women talk more than most men. Contrary to popular myth, women are NOT better communicators. We say everything that needs to be said in fewer words; sometimes no words at all. So we learn to tune out the constant hum of a woman’s nearly endless chatter. We are, however, extremely good at remembering the things that are important, as long as you can communicate that much effectively. The ‘why’ is extremely important to men. “Just because it’s important to me.” isn’t enough. It’s literally nonsense. I don’t know if your mother ever said “Because i said so!” to you, but i assure you that’s what a man hears if you can’t properly express why something is important to you and therefore why he should prioritize it himself.
If you can do all that and he still lets things in one ear and out the other, your values are likely too different. The clock may be ticking on your relationship and you should consider how much more time and energy you are prepared to invest.

DannyUk2017 · Accepted Answer

That`s what happens with the new "gaming" generation... that is the frustating part, as Games/Gaming will come 1st, and family and kids and house priorities/life itself will come..2nd,3rd... I don`t know where you women find these "men"...

DrPepper12 · Answer

He has an alarm, calendar and notes app. Fucking use it! Slap a post it on his wallet or underwear for the day or on the TV when gaming. Make him repeat what you said like a child until it sinks in and then time him from ask to complete. Discuss why it's important to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Talk about consequential things when he's free of other activities, not when you think he should listen.

It's fair to ask if he is free.

But ultimately, this is unlikely to change so you both need to find a way to communicate. And that probably doesn't mean he should just be more like you.

MrExperienced · Answer

Text him as you say it if it is important. Also sleep with his friends and have them do what you ask him to do and cut him off and when he says something play a video game!

molonski2 · Answer

Never trust an addicted gamer , this guy just remembers what he wants to remember.. " Where in the Fck is (my ) remote? " Where did YOU put it?  Sorry , he's a moron.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

ask him to pause the game or lock the phone screen for the time you talk to him or agree on a better time if he is busy and can't reschedule

NathanDavis · Answer

find a better moment to speak with him about important things...

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Call him out. He's pulling out his phone and playing video games when you're talking because he isn't interested in what you're saying.

dustybiker2 · Answer

You will not change him. Pointless getting upset. Either accept him how he is or find someone else.

jahaims · Answer

It has nothing to do with responsibility. You are talking to someone while they are distracted. That is on you.

Anonymous · Answer

1) Don't speak to him when gaming/distracted. 2) Ignore his needs as he does to you. Simple and gentle, but God how effective!

sirderpsalot123 · Answer

Don't tell him anything important when he's gaming or on his phone?

FuqUFggt · Answer

Tell him more important or interesting things. Time is precious. Stop wasting his.

DreamLife7 · Answer

He's not forgetting he just doesn't like u lol 🤣. Men do things for women they like

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Who is he? A friend? Brother? Father?

spartan55 · Answer

Maybe you talk way too much.

Zenpanda · Answer

You make him look at you.

He forgets things I tell him how to deal with it?

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