Why do we waste more time and tolerate too much while men leave?

[Rainbowxoxo]

Given that we have a biological clock and have more to lose if we can't get a serious, family-oriented man during our good years, that should be a major reason to dump bums asking us for money, men not proposing within 2-3 years or less, drug addicts, abusers, too much drama, etc. Yet, we tolerate that for so long, limiting our timeframe.

Meanwhile if a marriage proposal gets rejected, most men would dump her right on the spot and not even want her as a friend. If a woman starts making a fool out of herself being acting too jealous or getting drunk, the relationship ends faster. Men have an extended time for kids and yet they (generally) don't waste years stuck with a toxic girlfriend nor stick around if a proposal is declined.

So why are we staying and tolerating too much BS if we have a biological clock?

Updates

+1 y

Then as soon as the men dumps her for good, it's really over and not even sex will work on getting him back. He wants absolutely nothing from her.
With us it's different though. We can end up dumping him and sometimes still take BS just because he lovebombed us with sweet words or sex happens.

[Anonymous]

This is a problem created by women. Men don't want to get married anymore because women have ruined marriage for both sexes. Women have made marriage too expensive and sex too cheap. Unfortunately for everyone, that genie ain't going back in the bottle, and all of society is paying the price for it.

https://ifstudies.org/blog/sex-is-still-cheap-marriage-is-still-declining-a-response-to-wolfinger-and-perry-

[Zbrody1997]

Feminism, that’s why. Feminism is against marriage and kids and it’s litterally the notion being made. That women don’t need men and so of course men who want to be natural providers and protectors aren’t willing to play any more games but feminism is basically shouting let the games begin. It’s a cancer to relationships.

[Anonymous]

By WE, what you really mean is YOU. So the question really is, why do YOU tolerate such behavior? And only you can answer that question.

[Rainbowxoxo]

Well the most I've tolerated being in a relationship with incompatible goals was 2 years and then I broke up. Afterwards I would break up after 6 months or less. I've heard of other women being stuck for 8 years or so with the wrong person or waiting for the marriage proposal they'll never get.
I meant we as in general because it's always more women tolerating more BS when they're just boyfriend and girlfriend than men. Very few men would tolerate getting strung along for 5-8 years, mainly women are stuck in those positions.

[Opinion Owner]

Why do you think it is that women want marriage so much more than men do today?

[Rainbowxoxo]

Assuming it's for the right purpose of love and real commitment (the real definition and not the sociopathic golddiggers) with the correct person, it's to secure their fertile years and have a child on time. Not just today; we've always benefit more from marriage than just living together for so long. Men and women are different creatures. There isn't much benefit for us to have date around for endless years and stay childless without commitment. Even biological evolution explains it.

[Rainbowxoxo]

Youth and fertility has always been our main market value and have to use it wisely.

[Opinion Owner]

And what is the benefit of marriage to men today? Why should a man choose to take on all the risks modern marriage poses to them?

[Rainbowxoxo]

With the right person it's different. There are tax reductions and him with our representative if I were ever in an accident and can't make medical decisions on my own. Then obviously raising a child in a suitable environment with both parents involved in his/her life.
Now if you can answer what is so beneficial for US about giving a man all our youthful years and just living together as a girlfriend, childless? Why should I move in with him without getting engaged just because of words he promises? Why should I believe in his words that he'll propose and I have to risk giving away years in cohabitation? Or what's so good about being a single mother with 3 kids from 3 different men? Those children don't deserve absent fathers, a miserable life for them.

[Opinion Owner]

So tax benefits and medical decisions are the only benefits for men anymore? Do you think those things are enough reason for men to choose to take on all the risks men face in marriage today?

[Rainbowxoxo]

Just like you think our agenda Is a risk to you men, we think your agenda is a terrible deal for us. I will obviously not be excited about something that I have more to lose.
In an ideal world, both parties (both men and women) should be happy and benefit equally. We need to find a solution to this all.

[Opinion Owner]

But that doesn't answer the question. Why should a man get married when half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them and men get screwed in divorce court and child custody? Why would a man choose that? Yes, we need a solution, but we don't have one, and marriage is dying as a result.

[Rainbowxoxo]

Funny that I've answered your question and actually interested in solving the inequalities faced today but you skipped my question and our concerns?
Why should I should sympathy towards you when you clearly don't care about women's issues, just on yourself. I would like to solve both women's and men's issues.
Are you forgetting I've mentioned having well raised children too. That's a different. Then you guys can live longer (longevity benefits) since you would be less likely to smoke and drink. If she cooks (the good, dedicated wife) then you'll have healthy meals in comparing to go outside, buying junk food.

[Rainbowxoxo]

Well there are prenups and that help out not get screwed too much.
I would like the solution to be no monetary incentive unless she and the children have been real legitimate abused victims or the guy had an affair and got another women pregnant. In case, he would be a truly horrible person and no sympathy for him.

[Opinion Owner]

I have answered your question, you just didn't pick it up. The problem about which you posted here is a direct result of the fact that women have made marriage a bad deal for men, so men are avoiding it. It's that simple. Today's marriage if far more risky to men, and far less beneficial to them, than marriage of the past. The only solution to men's AND women's problems with marriage/relationships is to make marriage attractive to men again. Women have complete control over that, and they are the only ones who can solve the problem.

[Rainbowxoxo]

I said the solution just now on how to make marriage attractive. No monetary incentive (none) unless in two exceptions such as legitimate abuse towards her and the kid or he had an affair and impregnated another/other woman/women.

[Rainbowxoxo]

This means making it impossible to get monetary incentive unless for extreme cases.

[Opinion Owner]

The longevity and health benefits of marriage to men only applies to men in lasting, healthy marriages, and those are the minority. Half of marriages end in divorce, and some of the ones that don't are unhappy, unhealthy marriages.

Here's the problem with those statistics. To determine who lives longer, married or unmarried men, researchers by necessity must wait until men die to qualify for the study. That means most men included in the studies are old and were married during a time when marriage was very different than it is today. And equally important, men whose wives divorced them are included in the "unmarried men category, so those poor guys skew the results. Men whose wives divorce them have heir lives destroyed and often commit suicide. There is an epidemic of suicide among middle aged men today, and divorce (and this marriage) is a leading cause.

[Opinion Owner]

Your solution is only part of the equation. The answer is that women need to change and be better human beings.

[Opinion Owner]

Women need to have a sense of commitment again, like women of the past did.

[Opinion Owner]

To illustrate my point, look at the divorce rates among heterosexual, gay and lesbian couples. The rate is highest, by far, among lesbians, and lowest among gay men. In other words, the more women involved, the higher the divorce rate. Monetary considerations are not a factor, but commitment is. Studies show the biggest reason for divorce is lack of commitment,, and women cause the vast majority of divorces. That is very telling.

[Opinion Owner]

Why should you sympathize with men? Because men's issues with marriage are caused by women's behavior, and it is women's behavior that must change if women's issues are to be resolved. That is the bottom line.

[Rainbowxoxo]

In order to have a sense of commitment, men and women need to be taught as far as their early childhood years to cooperate with each other and be friends. They do that in other countries that don't have monetary incentives and men aren't much into pumping and dumping. Education about cooperation, values and morals need to taught about home.

[Opinion Owner]

That I agree with, but it's only part of the solution. The bigger problem is that we don't hold women accountable for their actions in the US, and women don't see themselves as the problem. The first step is to expose that and start holding women accountable. Men are blamed for everything, and although men do play a role in it, women are by far the biggest offenders. That needs to change, and given the current sociopolitical climate, I don't think that will happen any time soon.

Personally, I think the institution of marriage is doomed.

[Opinion Owner]

A big part of the problem is the gender war and the ever increasing divide between men and women. Feminism started that, and now we have men's groups like MGTOW, MRA and so called incels who are returning fire. Feminism sees those men as the problem when the fact is those groups only exist because of feminism. It's a vicious cycle because they just feed off of each other's hate and it just gets worse every day.

[ManInChains]

What do women believe they're tolerating from men?

[Rainbowxoxo]

It's mainly women stuck living together for 5-8 years or so with bfs, waiting for their marriage proposal, waiting and waiting in sadness but not dumping him long ago. I've just read a post here about a man whose marriage proposal was declined and the woman told him to propose again in 2 years. Unlike those women waiting for things to change, he dumped that woman right on the spot and moved on, married someone.

[Rainbowxoxo]

It's always the women wasting her fertile years when they're stuck in boyfriend and girlfriend stage while men don't tolerate too much.

[ManInChains]

That's because women expect too much from men while boyfriend and girlfriend and expect more before they'll accept a marriage proposal thinking they have all the time in the world to change their boyfriend to meet her preferences and standards before enslaving him so he leaves to find someone who won't say no. 🤷🏻‍♂️ he isn't obligated to have to wait another year or so until she's ready

[Anonymous]

I don't tolerate that nonsense. Why do you?

[Rainbowxoxo]

The most I ever tolerated was 2 years of incompatible goals but I've heard of other women putting up with BS for 8 years or so, destroying their fertile years. I only said we in a general term, not necessary all of us.