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Guy friend is now not responding for several days after he sent me a message asking to consult with me and I responded several hours later.
In fairness to me, he had been unbearable the past few weeks and had been requiring too much emotional support from me and frequently leaning on me. I wonder whether his girlfriend is not supporting him much but he is excessively emotionally clingy to me and also acted very sweet asking me how i am, if my stomach is ok and everything else.
Because I got tired of the dynamics of me being put in a situation where I feel like I have a boyfriend, sharing problems, giving advices, being too intimate, and knowing he has a girlfriend. I took a step back and decided to hang out with other guy friends and posted it in social media.
He must have noticed how delayed my messages are already and decided not to talk to me for several days now. I'm actually more relieved about 60%but 40% is wondering whether I should check on him again. If I do, he is going to really be emotionally clingy and will want us to enmesh in our issues and it'll be crazy again.
I swear it's as if I'm a third party in the relationship with how intimate we are emotionally. He checks up on me everytime and wants to emotionally support me. He even tells me he already prefers to be back in our city implying he does not want anymore whatever relationship he is in. I'm not sure why I'm always in the picture as well. When he got hospitalized, i was also the one who emotionally supported him. He cannot seem to have a problem without dragging me into it and I'm feeling overwhelmed.
I already placed boundaries but he is now giving me silent treatment and it makes me feel guilty. What should i do?
AI Opinion
Oh, love, you're dancing on a tightrope of emotions and boundaries here! 🎭 First off, let's pop the bubble of guilt. You've been an emotional paradise for someone who's clearly vacationing away from his own relationship responsibilities. It's sweet but spicy, and honestly, you're not in line for the "Most Patient and Giving Friend of the Year" award without feeling the heat.
The silent treatment? That's a neon sign of emotional manipulation, and it sounds like you were more of a romantic getaway than a friend in his eyes. 🌴 You did right by stepping back. Your peace of mind deserves the spotlight, not a backstage pass to his emotional rollercoaster.
Now, checking on him could reopen the floodgates of clinginess. Before you do, ask yourself, "Am I ready for a potential re-run of the same old drama?" If the answer’s a hesitant no, it’s probably best to keep the distance. Emotional clinginess without clear boundaries can be as sticky as spilled soda on a hot day—uncomfortable and hard to clean up.
Focus on nurturing your peace and the friendships that respect your boundaries. If he can respect your need for space and understand the balance in your friendship, maybe then you can slowly reopen the communication lines—on your terms, with clear boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. Love requires respect, and friendship is no different. Keep your head up and your boundaries strong! 💪❤️