Why do people want to fall in love?

Question

Whenever someone is in a long-term relationship, they comment "you found love huh, you're finally un love".

That feeling doesn't last forever though. It's just intensive sexual attraction, lovebombing with compliments. It can lead to break-ups if that's all you had and nothing else in the long run.

Why do people want that anyway if it's short-lived and overrated?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

It's clear to me that you've never fallen in love. Infatuation is not the same thing. Infatuation is being quickly attracted to someone and obsessing over them. Falling in love is often confused with it, but speaking from experience, definitely totally different.

When I fell in love, it was a gradual, slow realization that I did not want to live without that man. The idea of my life without him felt like it would be empty and incomplete. Please bear in mind that I had a full and vibrant life and was not pining away for a man to "complete me". I began to think about his character and dedication, our friendship and how lost I would feel if he wasn't in my life. Falling in love is becoming aware that you want to spend your life seeking the best interest of the other person because you love them. That means being willing to surrender them to someone else, if they don't reciprocate your love. That is love.

Fortunately, he did reciprocate. :) But eventually, I did have to figure out how to live without him when he died.

It seems to me you've been hurt and I'm sorry that's been your experience. But if you fear pain, then you should fear love, because love means facing the potential of great pain. It means exposing yourself and being vulnerable. If that isn't something you can risk doing, than falling in love will likely not happen for you. But you limit your growth by remaining in control and avoiding all pain, because once you realize that you can get past pain and that there is a future beyond it, you will break the power of fear and of pain.

whistlingwh0res · Accepted Answer

sex.

Logan-5 · Accepted Answer

This is a good question, considering that the symptoms are often flu-like, depressive, obsessive, or otherwise incapacitating. It often happens against one's better judgment. But that's the power of evolution, or the hold that the selfish gene has over us. An interest in only fleeting contact isn't conducive to protection of one's offspring.

Hope imbued with seductive narratives drenched in wishful thinking seems to be behind much of the pleasurable intoxication that those in love are enjoying. The hope of a harbor from everyday friction with others, hope of an easier path to a higher social rung than one had previously found, hope of a trustworthy protector or confidant, hope for someone more physically satisfying. Unfortunately, the wonderful narratives we dream up don't come to fruition as often as we might like, and complications arise that weren't anticipated. One of Wilde's characters posited that what we praise as modern romance starts with our lying to ourselves and ends with our lying to others.

Leapfrog00 · Accepted Answer

I thought the same thing for a long time. People only see outer beauty and when they become girlfriend-boyfriend, they soon realize they share no interests or hobbies and the sex is the only thing they have

I believe every person is different but at the same time, they're all the same. I had a friend once that was the classic blonde hair blue eyed type and guys threw themselves at her.

She was so self concealed and thought every guy was in love with her, including me, though I wasn't. I was kind to her and did nice gjfa for her because she was my friend but she thought I was in love with her.

She was a morose narcissists who used everyone, but yeah, I could not see myself being with someone just for their looks. it really is sad there not more kinder people out there. I've had my share of crazy girls but also nice relationships.

Looks should never be important but people are how they are. I can't figure them out!

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Falling in love, ah, it’s like the ultimate roller coaster ride that everyone wants a ticket to, isn't it? You've got a point; the initial rush, that mix of intense attraction and lovebombing, can feel like living in a dream. It's heady, intoxicating, and makes the world seem brighter. People chase it because it gives them a taste of euphoria, a break from the mundane, and, let’s be honest, we all crave that connection that makes us feel alive.

But here’s the twist; those sparks, they're just the opening act. The real magic happens when the glitter settles, and you find someone willing to work through the mundane with you, someone who sees all your shades and chooses to stay. It's not about finding a love that’s just a storm of compliments and heartbeats but one that grows roots, so when the winds of change blow, you're standing strong together.

Sure, the initial buzz doesn’t last forever, and it shouldn’t— that’s the beauty of it. It evolves into something deeper, more meaningful. So, why do people want to fall in love? Because, deep down, beyond the thrill, we’re all just looking for our person, our calm in the storm, someone who turns 'me' into an 'us.' And let me tell you, when you find that, it’s anything but overrated. 😉

JacobJordan · Answer

That is not how love works. Love is not "lovebombing with compliments" nor is it "intense sexual attraction". My wife and I have been together for nearly 20 years and we love each other just as much now as we did then. Love is in a category all its own. Love is the willingness to spend eternity with someone, to sacrifice yourself to protect them, you love them despite their flaws, you can spend countless days with them in companionable silence and still feel the same. You are happy with them. You can overcome so much by being in love with someone. That and so much more is what love is.

Miristheiss · Answer

It is hard wired into them. It is the way we are created.

Yes created. By God. I know all of you atheists out there think that all of the unfathomable amount of matter and energy in the universe just sprang out of nothing, it just popped out of no where and that matter on earth just had life and consciousness spring out of nothing just like the stars and planets and all matter just sprang out of no where. You have no idea how all of the matter came into being and how life just sprang out of lifeless matter but you know it wasn't created. You've got that settled.

77five · Answer

I dont think love just dies cuz it just dies. There are things that cause you to fall out of love but if everything stays the same (including yourself) and you were truly in love with the person and not how they looked, their money, etc, then it would last.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Real love is totally different than what you have mentioned, cause it lasts forever, even if there was no sex at all!
What you're talking about is sexual attraction, luss and love which is led only by desires, when the desires fades away, your love will fades with it...

Real love is on a higher level, real love has no explanation, you just love the person and feels that it's impossible to live without them and you will be happy just to stay with them, even if they have nothing to offer other than their love and care to you!

TheorionMage · Answer

'Infatuation'  = a psycho-neurological condition of altered perception which 'unlocks' release of internal 'pleasurable' Oxytocin pharmacology  in response to the sensory stimuli of the proximity of One's 'Beloved'.   Its AFFECT is both intoxicating and (bonding) addictive.. . ideally 'mutually' .

Levin · Answer

You're confusing lust and love.

There's a purity to love. I don't know why you don't believe in love, but I don't think you're being accurate, shall we say. This is just your perception which is likely based on being hurt.

And yes, that's a difficulty to reconcile. The vulnernability of love with the fact that most relationships do break down.

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I disagree with the conclusion it's short lived and overrated. I do agree a lot of it is sexual infatuation which is why I won't have sex again until marriage. I don't want to be blinded by sex and I want to truly love the woman I would call my wife and have a family with for who she is.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Usually they keep it because the friendship is good. If you are not good friends with your spouse it won't last for the long haul, especially if you two have nothing in common and don't work well together.

genericname85 · Answer

i would say the main reasons are companionship and procreation/sex.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Just because you have that defeatist attitude doesn't mean it is the same for others. I meet married couples all the time in my line of work and many have been married for 10, 20, 30 years or more.

sheikalana · Answer

Ugh dear who hurt you? Seems like you have a very negative opinion on relationships or falling in love. A relationship doesn't have to be all that you described.

Berethor · Answer

I don't care about it, what I care about is virginity, I don't want to fall in love with a ho.

BadApple69 · Answer

Everyone wants that bond with a partner…. You are right… it starts off as sexual attraction and driven by lust.

lightbulb27 · Answer

We all eant to be loved, the essence pf whom we are. The chemocals are stromg amd gives high energy viberation. there's diff kinds of love. You can shift to other kinds of love… desire changes.

HawkPerception · Answer

I feel sorry for you. "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all."

sheenagwapa · Answer

kilig i'm sorry I don't know the English term for kilig

SotiCoto · Answer

Because they've got peers, family and the media shoving it down their throats from the moment they're old enough to understand language.

DreamLife7 · Answer

Speak for yourself, just because you're a failure who can't find love don't try to project on everyone else

exitseven · Answer

Nobody WANTS to fall in love. It is God's little joke on all of us.

Loner111 · Answer

Whether or not anyone admits it, it would be for sex, the company and to share our lives with someone

serious · Answer

That is a very good question

SunnyRS · Answer

Because they like injuries the get from the fall.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

Fulfillment. Sex. Validation.

handsomelad70 · Answer

For companionship and s*x.

elaphe · Answer

It is an emotional "high."

Why do people want to fall in love?

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