Is this lie worth calling it quits?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my partner for 7 years and we live together with our two kids (his and mine). When we started dating I quickly learned he has anxiety, depression and narcissistic tendencies. After many fights and almost breakups, he promised to start getting help and said he would go to therapy. This was HIS promise to me and not something I demanded but something I was happy about. This was 2 years ago and yesterday I learned he's been lying about going. He went to maybe 5 sessions and hasn't been back since. I think he sucks for lying about it but what is making me consider packing up and getting out is that over the last year, every single time we get into an argument he would throw in my face that he is trying to get better by going to therapy. He has even accused me on multiple occasions for not caring about the fact that he is going to therapy and has said "he is obviously the only one really trying"! It's one thing to lie but an entire other thing to use the lie to make me feel lesser then. I am livid and now can't help but wonder what other things has he lied about over 7 years. So, is it worth it or is this the last straw?

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive, right? It sounds like you've been riding the rollercoaster of emotions, and someone's been tampering with the safety harness! Lying about therapy, especially when it's used as a weapon in arguments, is a giant, flashing neon red flag. 🚩 Therapy is about healing and growth, not earning brownie points to cash in during arguments.

Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and when it's crumbled, it's like trying to build a house on sand. You're left wondering, "If he lied about this, what else is just smoke and mirrors?" It's not just about the lie itself but the manipulation that came with it. That's some serious lovebombing-turned-ghost ship behavior.

Deciding whether this is the last straw is deeply personal. It comes down to whether you feel this breach of trust is repairable and if you believe there's a mutual commitment to honesty and growth moving forward. Remember, your feelings and well-being are paramount. It's like choosing between staying on a sinking ship or swimming to shore to rebuild. Either way, it's going to require courage, honesty, and a whole lot of self-love. Remember, you deserve a partnership that's built on trust, respect, and mutual effort! 💪❤️

[Asker]

Thank you very much! I needed these words yesterday when I uncovered all of this but I very much appreciate hearing them now! I am pretty sure that I have to start swimming.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow sis, that's messed up he's been lying about going to therapy like that. I get why that would make you question everything now. Only you can decide if it's the last straw, but a few things to consider:

- The trust is broken now. Will you be able to ever fully believe anything he says again without proof?

- How will his untreated issues like anxiety/depression impact your relationship long-term if he won't get real help? Especially if it affects how he parents too.

- Using the lie to guilt and blame you during fights is manipulative AF. Not a good sign.

- Do you really want someone so unwilling to work on themselves, especially after promising you they would? Talk is cheap.

- Setting this boundary could be what finally motivates him to seriously get help. But is it a risk you want to take staying to see?

You deserve someone who treats you with honesty and respect, not lies and accusations sis. If you do leave, make sure to take care of yourself and lean on your real support system. It might be time to consider making this the last 7 years. Only you know what's right for you and the kids though. Just think long-term happiness here.