Girls always want guys to be there for them, why does it always seem like when it's the other way around they're too busy to care?

[Anonymous]

There's a reason I ask this, I seen a recent question touching on this. Sadly this is so true also. I'm friends with dudes, the sad part about this is there's been multiple times with different people where I've actually been there for them and their girlfriend is nowhere to be seen.

Believe it or not I actually care about people even though I act terrible on here sometimes. In real life this has happened a few times to save time I'm only going to talk about one instance.

My friend and I were hanging out, we decided to play video games. At some point during the night I noticed something was wrong. I don't know what it was and I don't think I ever will but this has happened multiple times to where I just noticed something and it's been with different people so it's kind of weird.

I found out that his girlfriend was pretty much complaining to him unfairly that he was never there for her when she needed it even though I can completely denounce that considering we're friends. Unfortunately I found out that she is the one who's actually never there for him.

Due to respect I'm not going to talk about anything he said other than that, but I was like the only person that actually sat there and listened to him and actually encouraged him to let it out. This is sad because it should have been his girlfriend doing this and it frustrates me because this has happened multiple times with different friends.

To be clear this isn't actually talking about every female but if you know you know when this is directed towards the dudes that are dealing with this bullshit.

Do better and stop making excuses, I'm sick of seeing y'all hurt my friends. The one that hasn't actually been in a real relationship is the one actually ending up making your boyfriend break down and cry because I'm the only one that will listen it says a lot about y'all.

A little rant has been complete but I just had to get that off my chest.

Updates

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I love people's opinions on this, I had a prime example of what I'm talking about on somebody's opinion. Check out Minky17's opinion and let me know if you agree or disagree with what I said. I don't like the person personally because of what I was talking about so I blocked them and they made a duplicate account saying that's funny coming from a 16 year old. Lol even tho they left the original opinion on the question. 👉🏻👈🏻 say it ain't true, lol.

[Finchie40]

Because sadly a lot of people are selfish and only really care about themselves and what is best for themselves , Females and Males’ can have this type of selfish mindset. I experienced it , witnessed it a bunch of times, sadly it’s one of the seasons most relationships do not last the long haul , selfishness destroys the foundation a relationship is based upon, Sadly most people get into relationships only thinking about themselves and what is best for themselves , they don’t factor in their partners’ feelings , they only care about themselves and what they feel is best for themselves. Having that kind of mindset will get you nowhere in a relationship

[Asker]

I 100% agree with your opinion so many people who are selfish and only care about themselves. Fortunately it seems like we've both witnessed that. In those situations it's always the best thing to get out of that relationship but it's so difficult for them understandably. It hurts seeing my friends go through that, they don't think there's any way out of it. It takes getting some of their other friends that they play video games with or Hangout with to realize hey it's okay. In return it helps them find really good friends that they didn't realize were there. It's always the best feeling when that happens.

Like whatever they were dealing with alone they don't have to deal with anymore. Selfishly I love that feeling so much that's why I keep doing it.

There is so much people dealing with this issue, than People realize.

[college-student2021]

Yeah I seen this a lot.


Many of the girls I see do something like this are either narcissists or learn it from their disfuncional household. Unfortunately in our generation they aren’t being taught how to maintain a relationship.


Maybe it isn’t my place to comment on this but my suggestion to your friend is that if she not willing to work out things and is hurting his feelings she clearly dose not care about him and maybe he should consider ending that relationship. I seen my friends who been in toxic relationship for a long time still get dumbed in the end and their feelings stay hurt for a long time.

[Asker]

I think you have every right to comment on this because you're saying exactly what I'm saying. I 100% agree with you I also love that this whole question came from like another question that triggered me. Lol

[college-student2021]

Thanks. Oddly enough I did a rant like this with a friend. Honestly I tell any guy I ever talked about this issue is to dump a girlfriend if she not willing to work out things or is doing things to hurt him without caring that it bothers him.

That’s how I avoided becoming jaded like many of my former classmates.

Your friend’s story unfortunately isn’t the worse i heard.

I hear of a nasty story that happen to classmate I sort of knew, his girlfriend not only was cheating on him with her guy friend but shamed him when he didn’t give her money asap. She later made him wait for two weeks meanwhile she stayed at the other guy’s house and then officially broke up with her boyfriend blaming him for the relationship ending. At the end he basically told everyone he found out his girlfriend mother was supporting the cheating all along.

I know other stories similar or even nastier than that.

That’s my rant for today

[Asker]

Damn that is tough that's definitely worse than anything I've heard

[college-student2021]

Probably because your young or maybe in your area it hasn’t gotten cra cra.

And that’s a harsh story , I felt bad for the guy. I hope your friend feels better and his situation improves.

[Asker]

Cra cra lol I haven't heard that in a minute I hope so too

[college-student2021]

That’s why I use it , I haven’t hear that in a whole year lol.

[Minky17]

I had an ex who refused to tell me anything bc he said I wouldn't be able to help so I didn't push him to talk about it since he swore he didn't want to talk about it. He never did so I let him wallow in whatever self pity of his choosing.

I had to pull tooth and nail to get information out of him and honestly that bs is super annoying. Some guys don't want to be vulnerable or they choose to be vulnerable with women they want to have sex with.

If a man is vulnerable and y'all aren't dating - he's getting free emotional labor out of you. That's just something I wouldn't do if there's nothing invested for my time and energy.

[Asker]

I was waiting for a comment like this, I'm about to go in on you.

You're the type of person I'm talking about, you make it sound like you were trying to force it saying it was like tooth and nail trying to get information. Don't view it as information it's so much more than that.

What is BS in super annoying is when you try to force it out of people like you're owed it it makes them not want to open up.

Don't tell me you didn't cuz there's a lot of anger when you say he never did so I let him wallow and whatever self-pity of his choosing.

Your Logic Falls flat on its face when you say they choose to be vulnerable with women they want to have sex with because I am a prime example of the opposite of that.

You need to do better because you're saying if a man is vulnerable and you aren't dating he's getting free emotional labor out of you.

Lady I'm the one who initiated with people like your ex when they were about to break down.

I let them know hey everything's going to be okay and I hang out with them and then eventually I let them know hey if you want to talk about it we can talk about it, I can see it's bothering them.

With everything rolled up in a ball to put it simply, it says a lot more about you than you've realized.

Thank you for this opinion this is a prime example of what I am talking about. Have a great day

[uniquelyshy]

To be honest I'm not sure. But I can say about myself I try to be there for my man or any man who needs it honestly, it's just hard I guess cuz men sometimes don't like to admit it and even when they do it's hard to figure out how to help them cuz sometimes they don't know how someone could help them and it's hard to help them when they ways we do know don't work but I keep trying anyways because I wanna be there for others and especially my man but us woman sometimes don't underthe way we phrase things sometimes hurts him more than we think.

[Asker]

I want to start this off by saying thank you for at least trying. You might not think it helps them but it really does you're a good person because this is just an assumption I could completely be wrong but you come off as a person that doesn't think they're owed it if that makes sense like them opening up to you. Also don't come off as somebody who tries to force it out of somebody which is really good.

be like a snake slithering in the in the grass waiting to strike, maybe that's a bad analogy. Lol 𓁹‿𓁹 always be ready to strike inject your Venom. You now have food for the winter.

[Chazmatazz269]

We haven’t socialized women to be supportive. It’s literally never been a part of women’s role to support men in any direct way. We wouldn’t necessarily punish a woman for trying, but we absolutely would punish a man for needing a woman’s help. As a product of women who aren’t expected to support their men and men who are expected to not need support from women, modern women just aren’t made that way. It will take generations to change not just their nature, but how we socialize men and women in those respects.