Should you tell your partner when someone is hitting on you?

Question

My boyfriend said he had something important to tell me this morning and when I called he said that someone from his past was calling him love and said he was on her mind. He told me that he was over her because she would randomly leave him on read months/years ago when they did talk and that he wasn’t sure how to reply. He asked me how to reply and I told him to just not reply but I’m not really sure if he should’ve told me in the first place.
Guys hit on me all the time and I don’t tell him about it because it’s nothing significant to me. I just reject them and move on.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I’m saying no. But at the same time I’m saying yes. Here’s the thing. When it comes to women, women can get really mad if you don’t tell them. It turns into why were you hiding this from me, when he wasn’t. So rather than it pop up on his social media or something he’s letting you know up front that way you don’t turn into an “alley cat,” claws ready to fight. Plus it’s someone from his past who sounds like they had a history. That’s even more of a reason I would think to tell you because this isn’t some random stranger who just hit on him. W your situation sounds like they’re just random men, so I get why you wouldn’t tell him. They’re random dudes who you don’t give a rat’s ass about. It’s possible that he may just be trying to get a reaction out of you. Don’t know how your relationship is w him. Maybe he feels like you’re not giving him enough attention. It could be like I said, he doesn’t want you to get mad at him cause you found out on your own some how. Now it looks like he’s hiding it. Now you start to wonder how long has she been contacting him? Has he been talking to her. I think either way as a man telling a girl he’s going to be wrong. He doesn’t tell you then he’s hiding it. He tells you now you’re wondering why.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

Men will never get as much attention as women. I hate to break it to you, but most women that are even average in terms of physical attraction, get tons more attention than guys at the same level of attraction.

So when he tells you about some attention that he gets it's not necessarily about bragging, although it could be. It could simply mean that he's trying to be open and honest with you about who's trying to communicate with him.

Here are some fun stats. Women on dating apps have an average match rate of 10% and men have an average match rate 0.6%. That means women match with every 1 out of 10 guys and guys match with 6 of every 1000 girls online.

About 54% of women using dating apps feel overwhelmed. Conversely, 64% of men report feeling insecure about the lack of messages they receive.

So whenever they're feeling down, women can go to dating apps for an ego boost.

Rei13 · Accepted Answer

I generally tell my boyfriend when it get hit on, I just don’t go in a lot of detail and sometimes I forget to. He is weird about it tho. He is glad I tell him but other times he wished he didn’t know because on some days it happens a lot depending on how I’m dressed. But if I don’t tell him he’ll ask me why I didn’t if he found out separately. I think the only time I went into detail was an ex coworker, that was married mind you, put the moves on me and my boyfriend knew him from when I’ve run into him outside of work and questioned why I was full out avoiding him when we saw him at a festival.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I tend to tell my man everything just because I want to be honest and not hide things from him… I always think it’s just better to be honest with someone. But I also know that it bothers him, though he does know that clearly there’s no one else I’m paying attention to. A bit of a catch 22 🤷🏻‍♀️. I still say it’s better to be 100% honest to build and maintain trust… ultimately he knows that if something is up you’ll tell him about it rather than deceiving him. It also helps promote honesty from him as well.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to add a little spice to your love life, let me tell you, communication in a relationship is like the secret sauce—keeps it flavorful and interesting. Your partner opening up about someone hitting on him? That's trust in action, a sign he values transparency and wants to keep things crystal clear between you two. You choosing not to share when others hit on you could be coming from a good place, wanting to avoid unnecessary jealousy or drama. But imagine this: sharing these little encounters could actually strengthen your bond, making it as unbreakable as the love between peanut butter and jelly. It's all about finding that sweet spot where honesty complements trust, without turning it into a daily soap opera. So, next time someone tries to play Casanova with you, consider sharing it with a pinch of humor. It's not about the action but the intention behind sharing it. Keep the love strong and the communication stronger, and you're both on your way to becoming the ultimate power couple. 💑✨

Finchie40 · Answer

Only if it’s out of control , meaning the person that is hitting on you, isn’t taking no for an answer, and they keep coming on to you, that’s when it’s respectful to tell your partner what this other person is doing. So your boyfriend should of just ignored her message and deleted it , so the fact that your boyfriend told you immediately might just mean he doesn’t want to keep secrets from you or he is trying to get a rise out of you? It’s hard to answer this question based of what you described. Have things been going good on your relationship with him? Does he get jealous when other guys’ hit on you? Maybe he is trying to get you jealous? Who knows , that’s something only you can figure out

coachTanthony · Answer

No god no. No reason to do that unless it's out of hand or something like that.

hahahmm · Answer

Let's just say that when you start arguments with him, especially the kind that make one wonder if the relationship is going to last, he will clothes his eyes and see her AMAZING tits. The woman who is begging him to let her back into his life. Probably begging him to move to where she is or to let her move to a place down the street from where he is now. I bet she has perfect proportions and is really, really, really good at wearing the kinds of outfits and acting the feminine way that really get his juices going & he has around 1,000 hours of photographic memory videos of her in his head. Poor guy. The torture must be rough.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I'll tell if it's likely to come up later. Like someone at work who might try to get smart when my girls around or the cashier I always see at the grocery store.

Problem is if you tell her about every single one, eventually you'll either miss one and she's wondering or a misunderstanding will take place and you're in deep shit.

But if you never tell her, she'll eventually see how comfortable you are around one or more of the women flirting with you and think it's a problem.

So I think you have to use your judgment and just make sure your woman doesn't feel like "the last one to find out"

It's hard to explain but I've also kinda been developing the skill of flirting back in a way that just makes them jealous of my woman and praise her. Lol probably I just date some crazy types but it usually works pretty well when done right.

ZackBan · Answer

If you're turning down any and all advances then all's good. Telling him or not won't really matter.

Men don't get hit on. Ever. So if someone is doing it it's a big event hence why he told you.

You can tell him that you trust him and he doesn't need to share these things automatically so long as he turns them down I'm sure he'll understand.

Anonymous · Answer

If he told her no and he's with you, don't worry. He might of just told you that because he doesn't get hit on by the typical passerby, and maybe him telling you both gave him an ego boost and a chance to be honest.

I get hit on often and I don't bother my hubby about minor details like that, when I just want to spend time together peacefully and talk about our day. He knows I get hit on, and he trust me. Now if his good friend, a persistent ex, or someone crucial, ofc I would tell him and let him handle it.

Nirmroth · Answer

Well an average guy can probably count on one hand how many girls hit on him at the end of his life. He was probably just exited bec its rare and wanted to share it with you.

sheikalana · Answer

I usually tell my Husband but it’s also okay if you don’t tell them. If your relationship matters that much to you you should not engage in conversation with anyone who’s hitting on you instead just block them.

Darkchild25 · Answer

Depends if you feel uncomfortable and the other person isn't stopping when asked. If it were my partner I wouldn't mind. She'd be beautiful so I'd kinda expect it. Again it's just if it becomes an issue for her she could always talk to me about it.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It’s fine if he told you. Shows he’s being honest and really cares about you. Plus he cares about your opinion since he asked you how to reply.

JesseP1nk · Answer

I think you guys haven't talked what is ok in relationship and what is not. It might be obvious to you but it might be obvious for you - i think you guy should sit down and talk about it. What I think happened was he just wanted to be honest so later if that comes out you would not feel bad about it.

jazzyjic78 · Answer

He probably told you because he's an honest guy or it's a warning that he was thinking about her too and might be creeping soon. If he didn't tell her he's with you and block her number then he wants her to. Keep us posted 🙏🏾💯

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

I always tell my boyfriend if I have a romantic interaction with another person, but that's a me thing

DrPepper12 · Answer

She used to tell me but hasn't bothered in a while because then she knows I'll wanna hear the whole story because it amuses the fuck out of me. I don't mention it to her cuz she's easily jelly

Nikki1989 · Answer

No need for that. Fight your own battles.

electromagnetic · Answer

I tell my husband when it happens and we chuckle about it.

LaurenM1997 · Answer

Yes if it makes you feel very uncomfortable I would tell my partner regardless

Anonymous · Answer

I assume your boyfriend was the one who asked you out

jahaims · Answer

Depends on the context

DreamLife7 · Answer

You sound so childish grow up

Anonymous · Answer

Only if it's become a problem.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

he is such a gigolo.

Fireguy17 · Answer

sure, why not?

MacDaddyRico · Answer

Yes, always.

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