How long do you stay in a relationship waiting for a spark to develop?

Question

If you are in a relationship with a great person but you don't feel that spark, how long do you hold on hoping to find it?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

If the spark isn’t there , than it probably will never be there , something is definitely missing from your relationship with him , that is making you feel this way. Ask yourself this question? if he was no longer a part of your life , and in a relationship with you , would you be ok? If you answer Yes, that’s your answer to move on from him , if the answer is No , than you are best to try figure out what is missing from your relationship and have a sit down talk with him and try to somehow , someway ignite that spark with him before it’s too late. Really ask yourself what is missing that you feel like you aren’t receiving with him , He can’t read your mind , so this has to be your decision. Do you find yourself comparing him to other men? Do you compare yourself to other Girls? If you have the type of mindset , you will never truly find a spark with anyone , because you are constantly comparing, stop comparing of that’s what you are doing. For someone to choose you , you need to choose them as well. If you can’t do that? You are best to walk away and focus on yourself. Life is too short to waste your time on someone that you don’t have a spark with

loveslongnails · Accepted Answer

By "spark" I take it you mean "sexual attraction" or that undefinable thing that gives you butterflies when you're with him or think of him? Hmm, if that's really important for you and it's not there, the rest of the checked boxes are for comfort. Perhaps you've already talked yourself out of that ever happening with this guy, since it wasn't there to begin with, I don't know?

You need to decide quickly if that's a deal breaker for you because you can't string this guy along anymore while you try to develop your fire ( or not ) and live off the comfort he provides. It sounds like you've been with him long enough already.

Caroline91 · Accepted Answer

That's a difficult one to address. All of the things you say are all good reasons for being in a relationship. They are also good reasons for being in a friendship. I was in a year long relationship where we had all of that, but the spark never did develop... for me. He became the only ex that I ever stayed friends with after breaking up. I then got married young and he, at 35, has finally just gotten married. What I didn't know all these years was that I was the reason he didn't get married sooner. He brought her to meet me before he asked her to marry him. She and I were chatting without the guys right there for a bit and she told me how he felt about me. She said it was important to meet me. Now I'm friends with her too and so happy that he is happy. I love him! You know what didn't work? The whole pheromone thing was off for me, but apparently not for him.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

Give it up to three months to get the fires cooking. While some people feel the spark instantaneously upon meeting one another, others take a bit more time to test the waters (I’d say a few weeks). When you know you have so much in common you COULD wait a bit longer, but honestly not more than the three-month marker from when you met. If the passion’s not there, it’s just not there. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Diving into the world of sparks and butterflies, are we? Honestly, love doesn't always strike like a thunderbolt. Sometimes, it's more like a slow burn that gets hotter over time. Think of it as marinating your favorite dish; it takes a bit of patience to get to that mouthwatering stage. If your partner checks all the boxes of a great mate (you know, supportive, makes you laugh, shares your values) and you enjoy their company, give it a few months. Relationships can surprise you! Plus, sparks can sometimes be hiding under the comfort and trust you're building together. But if after a heart-to-heart with yourself (and maybe your diary) you find those butterflies haven't just been late to the party but seem to RSVP 'no,' it might be time to reassess. Remember, forcing a spark can end up feeling like trying to light a wet match—a frustrating effort with no cozy fire at the end. Keep it light and see where it leads you! 😉

1

PointlessNonsenseGuy · Answer

It kinda depends on what you mean by "spark."

Like are you only gonna have a spark with a guy if it would piss your parents off to know you're dating him? Does a spark involve you saying things like, "This is so wrong, I should NOT be doing this"?

Because if that's what spark means to you, you might be better off in a relationship without a spark. But really, it all depends.

Just be honest with yourself about what a spark means to you, and what you want out of your relationship.

Good luck.

beaves11 · Answer

Um.. I mean to me you don’t enter into one without a spark? I’m so confused by this-and this is why high standards are good. You’ve got to find them good looking at first glance. If that’s checked then you’ve got to enjoy their personality and have the same relationship goals. If that all lines up there’s a spark.

wiltingrosepetal · Answer

It took me three weeks to realise that there wasn't a spark, then promptly leave him. And that's coming from a teenager with almost zero dating experience so I feel like if you're still dating them after a month despite there being no attraction... what are you doing...

Kelley1 · Answer

No more than 30 days because I don't have time to waste. I need to get married now, while I am at my peak sexual desirability; not in 5 years when my sexual desirability has dropped to the point that guys I reject will no longer want me because they prefer younger women and not some 25 year old that has lost her bloom.

meepmeeperton · Answer

Seems like you chose a “good” person on paper rather than someone you actually like. The spark should already be there, and be what drives you to peruse the relationship in the first place.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

I thought the whole point of being in relationships was  because  you felt a spark. If that’s the case I, as an asexual aromantic person, could be dating anyone and it would be normal? Y’all lied to me and got mad at me over nothing lol

LazerBean · Answer

I don't know why anyone would commit to someone else to begin with if they don't feel a spark.

naartjie · Answer

Sorry what?  I’d never get with someone of the feeling is just not there. Sounds like a waste of time to me. Stay friends if you enjoy a laugh or hanging out. Not everything needs to turn to dating

sheikalana · Answer

I wouldn't get in a relationship with anyone without feeling the so called 'spark' if you're in a relationship with someone just because they're great but don't feel the 'spark' that seems a bit forced and chances are that 'spark' may never happen.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope... if they're not special... then I don't start a relationship I'm not into generic stuff like that..

sage2021 · Answer

You should feel the spark almost right away. If it's not there in the very beginning it's not going to happen. Sorry

Anonymous · Answer

there's probably someone better then. but, don't think life is a fairytale, because it's not. what do you like about him? you said all good things about him in your update. seems like a good match. again, life isn't a fairytale.

BetaBucks · Answer

Two weeks of dating, max. Even then, it should be obvious after the first date. Maybe two if the first date is just a quick coffee.

serious · Answer

Usually I think within 6-12 months one will come to know if the relationship will be long lasting or not.

mandyfire98 · Answer

I don't even start a relationship unless there's more than a spark.

LiamS95 · Answer

I wouldn't get into a relationship unless there was a spark.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

That's a sign you both aren't compatible long term as strong chemistry must be there in my opinion. He can be a great guy but he isn't for you nor you for him.

JJones03 · Answer

I haven't been in a relationship but I wouldn't go in a relationship if me and them aren't both feeling something for eachother. I don't get being in a relationship before there's actual feelings involved

In_Trance · Answer

Why would you get in a relationship if there's no spark? You should know by the second date

DrPepper12 · Answer

I think 3-6 months is enough time to realize the connection isn't there

LiamJHayden · Answer

All I care about is that she is a good person and treats me right and I her.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

What do you mean by spark? There is no such thing as spark, it's either you love them or not...

KrakenAttackin · Answer

You will feel that spark after you dump him and he finds someone else.

noohair · Answer

Chemistry is there or it is not. I don't know if that is the answer you are looking for.

Enginn · Answer

I just have lots of sex with her. Thats a good spark

QuineJessica · Answer

About three weeks ~

Viking_Girl19 · Answer

I think it should be within 1-2 months

GeminiDiamond · Answer

I felt the spark the first date.

paledreams · Answer

Spark or i'd not even start

FlamingLass · Answer

It depends on who im dating

Emmytexrex · Answer

From day one if the spark isn't there is no need

Iron_Man · Answer

I make it happen

jahaims · Answer

Felt the spark prior to the relationship

impalabill77 · Answer

I would stay a moonth.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That all depends on the person

CubaPirate · Answer

Years and years

shortster · Answer

5 dates.

Anonymous · Answer

Never.

Jason2469 · Answer

13 seconds

bubblyanne · Answer

A few months…

How long do you stay in a relationship waiting for a spark to develop?

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Once the infatuation phase has ended, how to you keep the spark alive in a long term relationship?

How long do you stay in a relationship waiting for a spark to develop?

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What Girls & Guys Said

Once the infatuation phase has ended, how to you keep the spark alive in a long term relationship?

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