Once the infatuation phase has ended, how to you keep the spark alive in a long term relationship?

[Anonymous]

How do you keep the spark and chemistry going in a long term relationship?

How do you know if it’s time to call it quits or if this is what the majority of people in long term relationships go through?

What about those couples that seem more in love after decades together. How do you know if this is just part of relationships or you are just settling?

[Finchie40]

The only relationships that last the long haul are the relationships where both partners’ choose each other and prioritize each other no matter what , if one of those partners’ is selfish? That relationship more than likely won’t last the long haul , Selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers and sadly we all have selfishness inside of ourselves. If you or your partner have a hard time removing selfishness for each other? , your relationship will more than likely not last the long haul. Basically what you don’t want your partner doing to you , needs to be the same exact rules or boundaries for you as well , not the other way around. Whether you agree or disagree with your partner your partner should always be your top priority over everyone else in this world , over your friends’ over your family etc. if you can’t do that for your partner? , do not expect them to do that for you. Most relationships fail because of this reason. So if you can’t fully commit and stay loyal to someone , do not get into a relationship period , you will just be wasting your time and theirs.

[sawno]

My last relationship my body didn't sustain infatuation. It switched between feeling that and not having any feelings for her at all constantly. But it didn't matter, i loved her so deeply it didn't matter if I felt it or if it was suppressed the love was real and pure. So even during the moments I was numb to it I truly deeply loved her for who she was.

Its the deep affection and love you have for someone that should count, the part where you love who they are and love having them around. Its not about the drug. That part comes and goes at least for me.

[Vesuvius87]

To be honest, after a certain age you shouldn't even enter a relationship just base on feelings. You should seek for compatibility (like-minded goals and values), communication, respect, trust. Along with all those components comes love.

Otherwise you would be wasting both your and the other person's time if all you had is the initial infatuation stage. Would you buy a cell because you're in love with it and it's cute without knowing its usage, price, purpose, battery life, operating system, speed, etc. Same thing if you're seeking for a long-term relationship.

Seeking for infatuation is for kids and teens. That's just the chemicals in your brain doing the job for you. How about actively deciding to love and commit?

[Danielle93]

If you need to constantly feel butterflies in your stomach and rely on fantasies about them being perfect in order to continue the relationship (rely on the high), then you never really loved them and the relationship was never meant to be. If you feel infatuation towards them, you don't love them and don't even know what you want out of the relationship. You probably didn't even do a good vetting process to find out if you guys even have compatible goals, if there is even communication, respect and commitment.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the ever-elusive spark! Keeping it alive after that infatuation phase is like keeping your favorite pair of jeans forever fresh 😂. My advice? Keep things playful, be spontaneous, and never underestimate small gestures! Those couples more in love after decades have mastered the art of communication and understanding each other’s love languages. If you're both willing to grow and adapt, it’s likely not settling. You've got this, love guru! ❤️✨

[DishLady]

If you're working too hard to do it then it's probably not your person...

[Caroline91]

I found growth is key to keeping the spark going. If you stagnate as a person, the relationship is in danger of stagnating. My husband and I have never stopped surprising each other. New thoughts and ideas, new desires. Share the growth, and as we expand as individuals, the relationship expands. It never gets stale.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Infatuation phase doesn't end, If I like something I don't get bored of it.
This goes for objects, relationships, pets, games, etc.
I may need variety, but I will always be infatuated with every piece of that variety.
In the case of relationships, playing video games with her, making art with her, creating cosplay outfits with her, being silly with her, and humping her is sufficient variety.

[DianaPearce]

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[Nikki1989]

You don't have an infatuation phase, simple.

Make is serious from the get-go, and don't waste your time or energy on someone that might just be a passing fling.

[Vesuvius87]

This basically. I never had an infatuation period with my husband. We were in for serious commitment. I fail to understand why so many people want that infatuation phase (it's really a waste of time) if in the end, that means nothing because you don't really love the person for who they are. They're just in love with a perfect fantasy, an idealization of the person.

[Anonymous]

I like the 222 method. Go on a proper date 2x a month, do a mini staycation or short getaway every 2 months, and go for a proper vacation every 2 years. Basically just keep on “dating” your partner. Don’t stop the compliments, the teasing and flirting, act like you’re still pursuing them and trying to get them to date you.

But honestly, just build a friendship with your S. O. - nothing lasts forever but friendship never ends right?

[Ironic_Method]

It's been a decade and I still get giddy every time I see my wife. Waking up like that everyday even after a year is how I knew.

Also, we didn't have an argument until 6 years in.

[IslaTheWitch]

if you care, you put effort into your relationship... :D

[molonski2]

Great question , wish I could answer it.

Part B , so many just simply stay together because they are scared to move on , this is reflected in all the numbers.

[chrissykerdock]

giving him lots of blowjobs helps keep the spark going

[LazerBean]

If you pick the right person and are being a good spouse to them, the spark just keeps on going.

[jahaims]

If you are experiencing infatuation you aren't emotionally mature enough for a healthy relationship.

[sawno]

Nah, you can experience it when your the most ready and mature you will ever be. The difference is that people who are not ready follow the feeling it causea and people who are follow the real love underneath.

[jahaims]

Unreasonable attachment and idealized perception is definitely immature. Maybe learn what a word means before you try to talk about it.

[Vesuvius87]

This basically. Children and teens get infautated easily. Adults (esp if they're 25 years and older) decide to love and commit.

[LiamS95]

A relationship without love and devotion isn't much of a relationship and will never last.

[Eempriyanka]

If you can't keep each other good company, then why even be with them?

[fish5505_87]

Million dollar question, seriously.

[Anonymous]

I never had a relationship.

[QuietRunner]

it never stops

[Alev121]

I guess this is not possible