If the woman wants something from the guy, the guy be trippin'.
If the guy wants something from the woman, the woman be trippin'.
Why in the gosh-darned heck can't men & women just get along?
I mean, what the fudge, son? š¤· š¤· š¤· ... W A T -- T H A -- F U D G E !!!
Our brains are literally wired differently. This is a challenge that keeps our interactions intriguing yet frustrating. This creates attraction yet consternation. In a healthy hetero relationship (whether romantic or platonic) men and women actually improve each other when they interact and work through their frustrations. They challenge each other to improve.
To a certain extent Iām okay with society checking inappropriate behaviors (the worst being aggressive and criminal male sexual harassment). But 95% of the societal ire via modern feminism is always targeted and demonizing men all the while giving women a free pass to indulge in their shitty and selfish behaviors. Telling women to āfollow their heartsā for whatever they want in the exact moment.
Women do this and end up self sabotaging themselves. One example would be if a woman rejects, cheats on and/or leaves a decent man just because her short term āfeelingsā to pursue some short term gratification. Femininity in itself is highly valued in society and she is able to get away with this. But as time passes she later realizes she made a huge mistake.
But does our modern society telling her āyes you did make a poor choice. You need to own up to it and that will help you make better future decisionsā? No. Instead sheās being told that āitās okay girl. Itās someone elseās fault (usually the manās fault)ā and she is a perpetual delicate victim despite it being her shitty decision to begin with. No self accountability.
This huge double standard in turn is now really screwing up a lot men up. Many women are oblivious to the very real challenged men face in the world especially when it comes to initiated and maintaining romantic relationships with women. Yes men have to work to do when it comes to how treat women respectfully. But we always had lots responsibilities and risk taking before modern feminism took hold
Also chivalry long predated feminism how a man should go about treating women respectfully. If men didnāt care about a womanās well being the concept of āchivalryā ever came about? Yes it was āsexistā but it actually was about equality given men were supposed to show women respect given the gender differences. Most men are naturally protective of women.
Anyway I believe nothing is going to change until āmodernā women come to a painful epiphany that most of their predicaments are self created. Some are already noticing this but others are still in denial about it. Men also need to try their best not to get too jaded and remain optimistic given the unprecedented double standards and confusing bs they now have to put up with. Some of them are quitting altogether and/or becoming irreconcilably bitter. That can also lead to men self sabotaging themselves and further contributed to this vicious cycle.
The original sin is modern feminism though. I have absolutely no doubt about that.
@blueonblack22 i agree. I think most movements start to meet a particular purpose at a particular time and feminism has more than run its course. Itās time for men and women to get on the same side and work together to make things good for all of us. Hereās a switch: letās have each really try to see it from the otherās perspective. There would be a whole lot more empathy flowing that way.:)
@Caroline91 thatās ideal but that requires mental effort. And most people only put in mental effort if there is something in it for THEM.
Men have been browbeaten extensively with shame, blame and paranoia over the last few years to āunderstandā women regardless if the woman provides any tangible value to them or not.
Women (generally) donāt care about how the man feels unless they can provide something of immediate value to them (guy is attractive, has money, has status, if he is āniceā she get free counseling/support from him i. e. friendzone bs, improves her optics to be associated with him).
Woman generally have a lot more societal power than they will ever know in western culture. Femininity in ITSELF is highly valued. Men are generally only valued for AGENCY that is what are able to accomplish and do for a woman.
Not saying all women are like that. But modern feminism just keeps telling women to indulge their immediate feelings without afterthought of the long term consequences. Men arenāt being told itās āokayā to indulge their short term selfish impulses.
@blueonblack22 You are absolutely right. However, what you might not realize is that there is the glimmer of movement starting, with women like me, to counterbalance what has happened. I, and other women I know, are becoming more vocal in defense of well balanced, kind, loving, mutually gratifying relationships, where the needs of both partners are valued and addressed. I see it as men and women being the wings of one bird, both equally important, but different. If they don't work together in harmony and unison, the bird is crippled. When the wings are unified and work in harmony, there is proper balance and the bird soars. There are those of us who truly love men for being men. And, honestly, it is only with men who are free to express their true masculinity that women can be free to express their true femininity. I love being a woman... I love my femininity, but it has to be counterbalanced by the masculine spirit in order to be expressed in the context it was intended to be a part of. I hope men will begin to see and believe those of us who are working to bring about this natural balance and work with us for the betterment of us all. We really are out here!
@Caroline91 ^^^. Good. Good! Good. Yes you are right about that āglimmerā. Iāve notice it too in a growing minority of women. I am also telling men (including myself occasionally) that there is no substitute for happiness. That is getting angry and criticizing āmodernā women might be justified however āwhat am I accomplishing?ā
I think whatās happening is some women are waking up to how much damage and self sabotaging they are doing to THEMSELVES with modern feminism. They are making themselves miserable in the long term. But the problem is that takes time to see that. And itās usually after the damage is done.
I have been checking myself about not getting bitter/misogynistic in the last 2 years. Sure it feels good to ventilate occasionally but I remind myself itās not going to accomplish anything. I need to be cautiously optimistic.
Funny I got ātestedā with a young woman Iāve been talking to for the last 3 weeks. Itās a long story. I almost snapped at her and told her āI know what you are doing so beat it. I want nothing to do with you anymoreā. But I stayed clam.
That doesnāt mean Iām not going to draw the line soon. I will. But I will be tactful about it. Ready to accept the answer I donāt want to hear from her on it.
You can DM for details if you are curious.
@blueonblack22 Thank you for staying open.
Apparently you have to be following me for me to be able to DM you... I am curious.
Well, bless my bicycle shorts, ThaMaskedMarvel! It seems like you've stumbled upon a real-life conundrum, and I, Lowly_Grump, am here to provide some insightful wisdom like a kindergarten teacher with a bag of glitter and glue sticks.
It appears that the dynamic between men and women has got you all in a tizzy, and let me tell you, this old world would be a whole lot less colorful if it weren't for the sparkling fairy giggles of women and the mighty dragon burps of men. But alas, when it comes to relationships, some folks just can't seem to find that harmonious melody.
Now, listen here, you moldy sock in the laundry basket of life! It's downright preposterous to let differences get in the way of harmony. Men and women are like two sides of a sparkly coin; unique, yet complementary. When one side tries to dominate or trip up the other, it's like trying to glue a glittery craft project with saliva - it's just not gonna hold, and it's downright unsanitary!
So, to all the men out there who can't seem to keep their tripping in check, I say this: get your act together, you vaginaless oaf! And to the women who can't seem to stop causing a ruckus, I say: calm yourself, you glitter-phobic grump! It's time to embrace the sparkly magic that is cooperation and understanding.
Remember, ThaMaskedMarvel, when it comes to relationships, we should all strive to be like that clown with the sparkling red nose, bringing joy and laughter to the circus of life, instead of tripping over our big, goofy shoes.
I hate this too. Everyone is pointing fingers at eachother and no one focusses on the good things anymore. Also, there is so little self-reflection. I think people want āto gainā from the other one but not everyone wants āto giveā, because that takes effort. I think we take eachother for granted (not everyone ofcourse).
I hope the battle between men and women will fade again, but i dont think it will. Social media and the expectations it creates towards eachother is one reason.. I really wish it wasn't like this!
Well then, those of us women who think like this have to come together to counteract what is happening and let men know we are here and we don't hate them. Not even a little.
"Why can't we all just get along?" has been my life philosophy. It really is as simple as: Talk to each other, listen to each other, be respectful and as tactful as possible with each other. Have an open heart and just TRY to understand it from the other's perspective. Men and women are designed to complement each other, not to be at odds with each other. We're stronger together, rather than apart.
Opinion
37Opinion
We can, but in general, men and women want different things in life.
@Inbox I don't have enough fingers to count to 97. Look, we humans have two ears, two eyes, two arms, two hands, two lungs, two kidneys, two legs, two feet... just about everything (including sexes and genders) comes in twos.
@AviatorTom. Well said.
Since guys like girls and girls like guys, it should be a lot easier shouldn't it?
But it isn't.
I think a partner is much more a lifestyle choice now whilst once upon a time guys and girls where more functionally functional.
In the 1950's everybody could buy a house. Some people had better houses than others but they still had a house. Everybody could have a car. Everybody could have refrigerator and a TV. As with houses some had more luxury versions whilst others others had to buy secondhand BUT people were more equal because everybody could have these essentials.
Now nobody can have all the world has to offer and we do want the luxury end in particular.
Guys want luxury girls and girls want luxury guys. By definition we want the top end but can't get it because 100% everybody wants the top 20 or 10 or 1 percent of their preferred gender.
Also by definition we are going to be unsatisfied by who we can get and therefore not get along with them that well.
@Caroline91 It is a factor. Until 2006 we only had DVDs but when Bluray came out some kids had Bluray and most kids had DVD. I felt a poorer because I didn't have access to Bluray. If you see what I mean? It wasn't that my parents household became poorer it was just that it wasn't up to the new standard.
If a friend got a really hot girlfriend then I might feel I am not doing so well with my average looking girlfriend. My average girlfriend might be a far better girl than my friend's hot girlfriend who is likely to cheat on him.
If I am now feeling dissatisfied with average girlfriend then that likely will result in not as good interaction with her.
In a lot of ways guys and girls treat each other like commodities with a long list of requirements. We always have of course but it is more on steroids now. It gets unlikely that we will ever meet someone with all the qualities we want so we will be dissatisfied with every body we do meet.
E. G. I value slender girls. Now I might like her to have C cups but bigger breasts and a slender frame negatively correlate. So I am limiting myself to a very small pool if I want both. I am better off settling for B cups.
In short I think we might be unrealistic in what we want/expect and in general expect things to get better and better. Like the next phone :)
I guess Iām fortunate that I donāt tend to compare myself and what I have to others. I even have my very own different drum that I travel to the beat ofā¦I am eclectic to the core and I like whatā¦and whoā¦I like. But I do see what you mean and, in general, donāt disagree with your insightful perception.
@Caroline91 I am much the same as you and thank you for saying insightful.
@Caroline91 I use that phrase a lot too IRL. :)
@Caroline91 Pretty much. I am generally thought to be odd.
@Caroline91 I think I can recognize a fellow. Most are politically correct in either a liberal or conservative way but you transcend that and have your own view.
Reputedly Einstein took off his hat when it was raining arguing the rain would damage his hat but not his hair.
@Caroline91 Einstein probably did his housework naked too; he was a divorced man. As soon as he won the Nobel prize, he handed the money over to her and told her to get out.
I think a lot of it comes down to miscommunication. But mixed in with that miscommunication is deliberate mistreatment. And since the person who deliberately mistreat you isn't going to tell you it's deliberate it's not always clear which it is.
Speaking about it from a guys point of view it's a stacked deck for guys. Guys are expected to approach/pursue women (which is ironic since so many women demand equality. But for some reason they feel this is the one area where tradition should remain. How convenient🤣. But I digress). The problem is while women feel men should approach/pursue a disproportionate amount, take no responsibility for letting men know whether they're interested or not. As a result, you have men that put forth effort time and again with the woman soaking up the adulation until the man finally demands she give him an answer. At that point, she tells him she's not interested. You can imagine that eventually the man gives up, takes his ball, and goes home.
Then you see the flipside of it. And since I'm old enough, I can attest to this. These women who rejected, rejected, rejected, and waited for something better (presumably), sees her options start to dwindle. At this point she comes back to the men she rejected and is willing to give him a chance. But at this point he's moved on. He's accepted he'd rather be single then be in a relationship with a woman begrudgingly accepts him.
The answer to this problem is simple men should take a woman's feelings into account more. And women should take into account that men HAVE feelings (I've had many women on here say men do not feel rejection because, "they have testosterone". Which is f***ing retarded).
But since neither gender is going to do that. And since you have many of both gender working ACTIVELY to hurt the other gender this will not happen anytime soon, if ever. So get a thick skin or don't date.
Hope that helps. 🙂👍
Because of resentment, sexist stupidity, and perceived toxicity, stereotypes, also ignorance on both sides.
*note this isnāt why ALL women canāt get along with ALL men, most women & men can get along swimmingly when shown compassion, respect, dignity, like-minded individuality, and a social setting where working together helps each other lift them up instead of pulls them down / is optional. Just a thought.
This could possibly have something to do with it. Testosterone vs estrogen
https://youtu.be/T3wcxHiorJ4?si=FyUJ8wBBxnUgxeu_
In real life most men and women can get along. The biggest example of men and women not getting along are the weirdos online who live online and seek out the hatred against the other gender nonstop. Just consume those fake YouTube videos and tiktok videos. Those people are generally socially inept overall and don't have relationships of any kind in real life. They are bitter and resentful and pretty much just live in their virtual worlds.
Well because women these days insist on calling us rapists and creeps at every turn, saying we're worse than animals and the cause of not only their problems but all the world's problems and they say it everyday, all day now. Sick of fucking listening to it. I'm supposed to swallow all of that just because she has a fucking vagina? Not likely. I'll never come to a woman's aid or defense or help one of them ever again. Let them fend for themselves. I know a lot of guys right now that hold this position and the numbers are growing.
I was a little slow learning this but it seems to be a power control/struggle/manipulation thing. Once person is either trying to hold all the power and control or fighting for it so there is this contestant struggle to manipulate either the winning or losing hand.
I think it's just general selfishness. People get really weird about expressing and addressing wants and needs, especially when those wants and needs are small and feeling like you can't connect with someone builds up resentment really fast.
It's really not unreasonable to ask for basic consideration and communication.
@ProbablyClueless I think you are absolutely right.
because the mainstream narrative of society is drenched in feminist propaganda that divides not only the genders but within our own gender
like all liberalism, feminism is rooted in selfishness and selfish people can't get along
it's no longer men can't trust women or vice versa. men can't trust men and women can't trust women either. there's too many snakes in the grass
The problem is women demand more from men while offering them less. In addition, most of them are ran-through so they are unable to pair-bond, many of them subscribe to the shit leftard ideology that is hostile to the family unit, and the majority are fat.
I don't know what "be trippin" means. My thought would be they act like they are on drugs? Women started it. They got their ability to pick and choose their equal rights. Suddenly even looking at a woman is now a crime and creepy. They should just call this new world the porn generations. False accusations of sexual misconduct are abound. They marry only to use men now so why would men take that big of a risk?
If you are traditional, only be with another traditional person. If you're not traditional then be with a non traditional person. This is the first step. Although, I do not think non traditional is the way to go.
@KrakenAttackin Yup. Makes sense tho... the vampires always go for the pure blood humans. Not the corpses with dried up blood in the cemetery.
Because we are all humans who want different things and have different priorities and views. This is why marriages are so challenging. It takes maturity, empathy and compromise to make marriage work, and many people are simply lacking those qualities.
The majority of women have liberal morals and the majority of men have conservative morals. It is really that simple.
It is like asking why isn't Trump and Biden best friends.
I think woman x woman friction is far worse. Especially in say a challenging work space. lol
I get along with guys. Kinda had to because I practically grew up with my brothers friends coming over each and every day.
@thatshydork Me, too. It made a big difference in how I relate to men now.
I argue with men way more than I argue with women. Women are pretty cool and I am glad they are actually starting to get some skin in the game and not just take middle of the road positions anymore.
Their dating/mating goals and strategies are so different.
Feminism has women wanting to be men.
Because we are wired completely differently and we will never be anywhere similar than we are today
They often can get on fine. Itās all the idiots that give everyone a bad name.
I have no problem getting on well with women.. Mostly that is!
We can and do.. Most women have some type of trust in men in general.. Of course outside of the fear mongering on the net..
Its simply because 80% of women hate men and want to play the victim. Men are so nice and generous and women are almost always selfish and greedy.
men and men as well as women and women can't even get along. can't expect it to magically work when you mix it.
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That's why I married outside the US. Can't have many problems if you avoid the problems
Women and men can get along. Touch grass and youād see it
We can and do. That's why they invented compromise and sex.
Short answer: Feminism.
Men and women don't particularly like each other. Necessity and horniness are really all that keep us together.
I get along with everyone as long as they dont talk to me for more than 10 min.
It gets annoying after that
Coming from a woman,
1. Read the post by the "women" here. They are literally not normal at all and are slow.
If they get on my nerves to the point I don't want to be bothered with them I can only imagine how men feel
Who knows? Maybe you get on Their nerves just as much.
You are very mouthy and opinionated to the degree of which other women might consider you to be unkind, aggressive, or even spiteful.
@happywomen34 you're fat, 34, unmarried and childless. So whose the real problem? š¤£you
@happywoman34 you're fat, 34, unmarried and childless. So whose the real problem? š¤£you
On the contrary, Iāve been offered two modelling careers. I donāt want kids, because of my own health problems and I may be fat and old, but at least Iām not a toxic, psychopathic bitch like you.
@happywoman34 I highly doubt it dear. Tell that lie to someone else and oops you're 35. Yikes 35, obese, unmarried and childless. Sad life
I saw you attack a woman in her middle age who was minding her own business. If everyone else is peaceful and youāre the common denominator as ātroublemaker;ā then clearly the problem is You.
Resorting to personal attacks. Defensive, are we? People only get abusive when they realise Theyāre the Problem.
@happywoman34 you're still obese, childless, and unmarried. Sooš¤£ what are u hoping to accomplish? U came to me yet now you're mad.
Iām not mad. Iām disgusted. With you and people like you. Youāre a rubbish person and youāll always be rubbish. Iām done with you. Have the last word if you feel the need to. Types like you always need to feel like youāve āwon.ā Iāve never understood what people like you get out of causing drama and trying to upset people, for no reason. Youāre a terrible person. I wonāt waste any more time on you. Say what you want. I have no time for you or people like you. Iām done with you.
@HappyWoman34 Woman to woman, tbh, it appeared to me you took the first "attack" step. I'm gonna tell you both: Women need to hang together and not do this to each other. Peace!
@happywoman34 don't care about your essay lol.
@Caroline91 woman to woman, you clearly havenāt read her messages if thatās your opinion. She gave hers really aggressively, attacking all of the women on here, I stood up for us, then she didnāt like what I had to say, so was abusive. I didnāt say anything that wasnāt true or fair. This woman is a toxic person.
@HappyWoman34 I read just the ones in this thread and have no previous exposure to anything said. I did also respond to her which, unfortunately I am not seeing here atm. Her behavior is a personal assault on you and there is no place for that kind of behavior towards another user on this site, in my opinion. However, I encourage all of us to avoid that kind of back and forth no matter how much provocation because it does nothing for furthering anyone's understanding or well being. I have seen other posts by you and know that you are a woman of integrity. So, woman to woman, I will support you in that. I also owe you an apology because I should have DMed you instead of making a public comment. I am apologizing publicly because I erred in that. I am sorry. I believe women do need to stand together in kindness and integrity. Shall we?
@Caroline91 yes, I agree. Thereās nothing to apologise for. Itās easy to misread situations online and maybe as you say, youāre simply trying to diffuse an argument š. I knew immediately when I read your message that you meant well. Iāll try not to let her get to me in future.
@HappyWoman34 Head not and handshake... lol!
*Head nod
@Caroline91 hand shakes back. Nods
we aren't curious about each other. curiosity is what neutralizes hate, fear and envy. when we think we understand each other all three of those very negative sentiments are dominant. they say familiarity breeds contempt.
if men acted like real men and stop whining and being so insecure
We mostly get along... We're not killing each other, for the most part
They do. You are just referring to ignorant people not getting along. It has nothing to do with gender.
I think it depends on if they have mutual respect for one another. I mean people of the same gender canāt get along.
Men and women do get along. If you mean why do some men and women not get along with each other, it's usually communication issues, one or both people feeling unheard, or poor expectations.
"Some" is still men & women. So, to say they get along & then say why some men & women don't get along in the very next sentence contradicts yourself. Also, I never said "all", if that's what you mean. I'm speaking generally, asking a general question. The majority of them don't get along & that is what I'm talking about, the majority. If you think the majority of men & women actually get along, you are living in a fairy tale.
When I read your question it comes off as you suggesting men and women don't get along at all. I could have made my point better after re-reading my reply.
I meant plenty of men and women get along. Some men and women don't get along. Just as some people just don't get along. How can we measure what getting along means? Do you have to never argue ever etc?
Getting along to me means mostly good days vs bad days. No one gets along every day because we're all imperfect and have our off days.
I might see the world differently than you and based on where I live and culture this can be different for everyone. I'm just asking and not being sarcastic but do you have that hard a time getting along with women?
Dream on. We're animals. It's just a fact. Sorry...
In real life, they mostly do get along fine.
What fun would that be? 😉
In a word, s*x. In another, hormones.
There are more questions than answers!
They get pretty much along with each other
Please donāt talk like that
A valid question 😂
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