You ever stayed in a relationship mainly for the kids sake?

[Finchie40]

My wife and I separated for awhile , but we managed to try to work things out , but that didn’t last long , We are still legally married , but pretty much live separate lives , we are just room mates mainly. We no longer sleep together or do things together , we are mainly just living together for the kids sake. She said once the kids are on their feet , we will go our separate ways again, Our kids are older and on their way out into the world Part of me wants to meet someone else , because I feel lonely and I don’t really have anyone but my kids. I miss feeling wanted and appreciated and miss having someone I can share things with and be intimate and affectionate with. My wife is aware that I am open to meeting someone else and she is aware her and I are no longer compatible for each other. It seems the only girls’ I meet now , are girls’ that are either cheating on their spouses or boyfriends with me , mainly just sex , but nothing more. Every girl I meet that I am interested in , I am honest to her about everything and don’t lie about anything. Because I want to find a real connection with a girl that more than likely will lead to more than just sex. A girl that wants to fall in love and travel and do things together , I tried fixing my marriage but that was sadly just a waste of time , my wife is a very selfish person and only wants things her way , she thinks she she should be catered to at all times and thinks she shouldn’t have to work. She acts like it’s my responsibility to provide everything, that’s why I no longer want to be with her as well , she is a very selfish person and I would be happy if another guy took her completely away from me , I will gladly shake his hand and say Have fun with that shit. I want a partner , a girl that has my back like I will have hers , that works together as a team. Anyone else experience anything like this? What did you end up doing?

[Crimsyjo]

A couple of things spring to my mind. Not saying I'm right. But is my initial opinions.

Firstly... yes I was unhappy and falling out of love with my husband after our first child was born. I held on 3 years 'for sake of our child'. Sometimes I'd think maybe it was getting better or would. But those moments never lasted.

I was so so happy when we broke up. And even my daughter was happier despite also sad for her dad. There's much longer parts to this. But fir your question this answers one part.

Secondly everyone deserves to be loved and staying for the kids is not healthy. As long as you maintain being and active, supportive and present dad in their lives separating will do both your and your wife good.

Thirdly... I doubt any genuine woman looking for a genuine relationship is going to take you seriously when she hears your story. So many "cheaters" also tell similar tales of "we are not together. We don't even have sex" but are lying. Even if you are not. A guy living with another woman whom he was intimate with let alone mother of his children will be a HUGE red flag to any decent woman. Hence you will not attract a good woman whilst still having a foot in the door of your old life.

Thirdly.. having children can put a lot of women off. Just as it can put a man off. Especially if they are quite young still and in your age group. I went to a speed date thing yesterday for ages 40 to 55 and this is what all the women were saying. At our age our kids are pretty much teens or adults and we have more freedom so we want a man with same. And if you go for younger women well it's likely they want a man to have a family with who's time and resources can go to her and not family no1. Just an observation. And it's not that everyone feels like this. Just putting it out there that finding sexual partners I'd easier. Finding love and commitment is not. But don't let that make you stay in an unhappy non-relationship. Just be prepared that you should be thinking how to support yourself and kids separate from your wife whilst also working on building a happier life for yourself and healing before trying to jump into another relationship.

[Finchie40]

Yea I am not trying to jump onto another relationship , I would just like to meet a girl that I can have fun with and take things slow. But I do see your point of view , so I guess I am better off just finding someone for FWB’s because I don’t want to be with someone based off of lies , not who I am as a person. So that’s probably my best bet

[Crimsyjo]

Yes I think that is perfectly acceptable. As a lady myself who has friends with benefits or FB relationships... it can feel a need so you can focus on other things. Otherwise we may be likely to jump into a bad relationship from a desire for sex.
After my very abusive relationship I was scared and not ready to trust a man with my full heart when I started desiring sex again. That's why a FB thing worked/works well for me.
But I have also started realising and being ready for more. Hence I have started looking for a relationship now. Having FBs still help me with this. Because as I said, I'm not going to fall for a "relationship " potential guy out of pent up horniness! I can take my time assessing if he is right for me.
I wish you luck!!

[Finchie40]

You sound like me with the FWB’s thing , I no longer jump into relationships with girls until i feel her and I are in it for the long haul and not the short haul and sadly that isn’t always the case , but I try anyways lol. We can’t read each others’ minds and we don’t know what someone else’s true intentions are. So all we can do is treat someone the same way we hope to be treated in return. Why I choose to be honest with any girl I meet , giving her a choice on whether she wants to continue seeing me or not. Why I feel lying is so stupid to do to anyone. Yea lies might help you get what you are initially after but it won’t last the long haul once the person finds out you were lying to them , so it’s best just to be honest , I usually lay everything out on the table for her to decide before I even consider pursuing a relationship or anything with her , I know the feeling of being blind sided and betrayed , so I don’t wish that upon anyone. When a girl is honest with me , her chances of getting me in bed increases big time , I feel I can trust her and respect her if she is honest with me. If she chooses to lie than sadly she is more than likely going to suffer the consequences of her actions. Basically thanks for a Good time but not a long time

[Crimsyjo]

Yes I've no problem with people having casual sex and I respect when everyone is open and honest about it! Stops and messyness with emotions!
I think a lot of guys are more open about it now? It also helps cut through any bs when you do connect with someone.
The ones that lie and lovebomb just to trick a woman into sex and then ghosting? I don't get that? Maybe they are guys who can't usually get casual sex. Because let's face it... expectations are more about finding sexual attractiveness than if looking for a relationship and then it is whether a guy/gal has a good heart and values. So you look beyond just the physical.
Well that's what it's like for me...
My casual guys are gonna be way younger than me because they look hot and I love their youth and style.
In a relationship I'd love that but it's way harder to find a guy that appeals to me both in looks and personality qualities.

[Apple1996]

That sounds like a nightmare. You should probably think about acutally getting legally divorced here soon if your kids are older

[Finchie40]

Yea , that’s the plan but we both decided to fix the house up before we sell it so we can get top dollar for it , in the meantime I want to enjoy life and meet someone that actually has a heart. So far all I am meeting is cheaters that lie about being single when really they aren’t , so my luck with girls’ hasn’t been the greatest lol

[Apple1996]

At least you never had to pay child support so that's a plus. And wow you must just attract bad women 😆

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Finchie40 I feel your pain on that one. All the chicks I get on the side are usually cheating on some guy or they're just major sluts. I detest most of them, but the money they have might keep me around as long as they're "generous" as the chicks say.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm one... here because of kids mainly, that and the wife works and pays for everything. I'm basically eye candy and I spend my days lifting weights, and playing video games... and of course, spending time with my kids. I still fuck the wife because sometimes I just need a cum dumpster. I just pretend she's someone else most of the time... like a black chick or a midget...

Don't know where I was going with that rant, but I bet you get the point. I cheat all the time and it's not a big deal if I get caught. "But D_Bone, why don't you work and just move on?" Did I not point out I don't have to work?

Let me show you my sleeping room and gym...

That's 2 rooms where I keep to myself... I also have the music studio with all the guitars and a garage with guns and cars... yeah long guns too for the anti-gun fags. Why would I leave this when I don't lift a finger to make it happen? Yeah, I'd rather be happier somewhere else, but I have my own space and I know the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

I'm just a man that refuses to work... but I'm fucking sexy and use it to my advantage. I worked until I was almost 27 and gave that the fuck up. Just get sexy and make bitches pay for everything. It's time for us men to have the soft guy era... Drizzle drizzle mother fuckers. Make bitches pay for everything and do all the work.

I forgot to mention my condo in Japan... which you've probably seen if you've seen me post before, but right now I'm with the big tiddied wife, not the other one. Make these bitches pay... that's my advice.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Sorry, I went off on a rant because I always get hit by people telling me to "just work and leave, get out of your situation" and I am sick of them. Fuck work... what's the fucking point of work? Most of you dudes work your ass off and then have to share it all with some chick. I share some stuff, but I get my own spaces. "just work and leave" isn't always the best answer and I get sick of hearing it.

[Finchie40]

The thing is my wife won’t work , she expects me to pay for everything, now that I was laid off I been having a hard time landing another job , she is just using me and acts like everything is my fault , I am over her shit, she is just a room mate , she knows I am open to meeting someone else and she knows I don’t tolerate her shit either. Now that I am jobless she acts like I am this horrible person when she has done nothing to help me out while i am actively seeking work. I feel like I don’t have anyone but myself , she is nothing but a fucking user and I am over her shit. It sounds like you have it pretty made man and I don’t blame you at all , if she is willing to support your ass and fuck you from time to time , Than I would be fine with that situation. lol

[D_Bone_Steak]

Your situation is shit... I'm not going to lie. It reminds me of when I was a kid watching my slut of a Mother doing that to my Step-Dad and vowing to myself that I was going to do that to bitches.

It's these fucking sex roles and I switched them up where it matters and never even thought about wearing a dress like the twisted fucks that also try to take up the female sex role. You're stuck in the quote un quote "male sex role" where you bust your ass working and the motto is "happy wife=happy life" which is doable when it's working like it's supposed to. But you obviously know how shitty it is when it's just not working like it's supposed to. I fucking think it's the shit end of a stick deal even when it's working. This could be God poking you with his dick, trying to tell you this is a shit deal.

This is what I would do if I were you... start spending all my free time lifting weights. I'd find a job or two and get the kids raised. But as soon as they're on their feet in life (and I would've explained this already to the kids), I'm out, and I'm dead sexy from the weights. If 16 isn't legal where I'm at... I'd move and show off my hot 16-year-old girlfriend and my hot 16-year-old side chicks.

Getting sexy is the game changer. Women do makeup and we lift weights for hypertrophy. I wanna see you take this situation and come out on top and much better for it. Life is giving you the red pills right now... swallow them and just do what you have to do in order to better yourself.

It's not going to be easy though... The lifting with the free time is no walk in the park or as easy as a piece of cake. I think you know this because I do remember you on other posts getting into that lifestyle. You might remember me... the treadmill for 1 hour after 1 hour of lifting guy, every single day, with no days off.

[Finchie40]

Hell yea man , thanks for the advice and yes I have been working out and getting myself back in shape and yes I remember you my man , once i I land a job , a lot of stress will be lifted off my chest and yes my plan is to get away from her selfish crazy ass , and focus on myself once my kids are on their own 2 feet. My days of being used are coming to an end

[D_Bone_Steak]

I do have to warn you... once you get buff, once all her friends want to fuck you... you know what's going to happen. She's going to go for you. The trick is to remember, just remember what she was like before and acknowledge that she changed up her game in response to you changing yours... remember who she was though. She's going to try if you get buff... mark my words on a calender kind of mark my words. She will try to keep you.

You could do what I did... and I got my current chick to tattoo my name with "property of" real big on three parts of her body with my name and made her go through a ritual to be allowed to speak to me.

But seriously... look at her and look at her real good. Even if she did her best after where you are now... just compare that to some 16-year-old pussy that doesn't have any history against you. That's my warning... Your current will try to deny you of any future... the bliss is getting a better future and her seething. Don't let her win you back, BUT, when she starts trying to win you back, you'll know you're heading in the right direction.

[BonzoInBitburg]

My ex wife and I decided to divorce when the kids moved out. It made things civil and we started to get along better. Once I moved out and the divorce was final I started dating again. I wouldn't recommend dating before that. You need to live a little, take some vacations and get yourself on good financial footing. There's no rush, it's easier to date after 50 and you've got no baggage and your shit is together

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the twists and turns of the heart's journey! 🌪️💔 I'm here to sprinkle a little wisdom on that tough spot you're in. Staying together "for the kids" is a classic move, but oh boy, does it come with its own set of challenges. It sounds like you've got a big heart and a lot of love to give, but you're stuck in Relationship Limbo. Not the best dance floor, is it?

First off, big kudos for being upfront with the ladies you meet. Honesty is the sexiest trait, after all. 🌟 But diving into new waters while still tied to the dock... that’s tricky, my friend. Love-bombing yourself into a new romance while the ink on the current chapter hasn't dried yet might just lead to more ghosting than Casper the Friendly Ghost's annual reunion.

The key? Close one book before you open another. It's not just about legalities; it's about emotionally freeing yourself from a relationship that's running on fumes. You crave that connection, partnership, and shared journey, which is totally valid! But ensure your heart is truly ready to embark on that adventure. 🚀

Navigating this relationship maze requires patience, self-reflection, and maybe a map drawn by a professional relationship coach (*winks*). Remember, transitioning from a full-time partner to a co-parenting superstar can be smoother with open, honest communication and perhaps a pinch of external guidance.

Now, onto your quest for love: Focus on rediscovering who you are outside of your current situation. What makes Brad, well, Brad? Engage in activities that elevate your spirit, meet new people with no expectations other than enjoying the moment, and let authenticity be your compass. 🧭

In essence, it’s about ensuring your own emotional cupboard is stocked up with self-love and clarity before inviting someone else to dine with you. The kind of love that builds empires, parts seas, and—yes—does the dishes together, is out there waiting for you. 🏰💞 Just ensure you’re truly free, in every sense, to meet it with open arms and an open heart.

[idonotlikeyou]

From many different perspectives, children can benefit if parents get along and don't divorce too early. However, it is important to remember that children learn patterns from those closest to them, so if the parents do not enjoy their closeness, that is the kind of relationship model they will pass on to their children. Whatever is decided must be done thoughtfully and without unnecessary emotions.

[Anonymous]

I’m exactly in your same situation. I’m sorry you’re going through that. Well, I’m actually a it behind you. I’m technically separated, we’ve tried to work things out for too many years and it’s never worked so I decided to stop trying and built a wall around me. She’s also very selfish and wants things her way. But we’re together for the kids and because weirdly she says she wants to make it work but after trying too many times I know it’s not going to work.
I haven’t had any relationship or seek one. I’ve had a couple of flings but those are not fulfilling in the long term. So I’m also trapped just waiting for the kids to be older so I can leave. Good luck man!

[NathanDavis]

a great one? yes, of course... no reason to break it, lol

[Dongie]

I've only been the kid in that fucking shit. Don't DO IT!!

[jahaims]

No, that is worse for the kids