If you found out your friend was a big cheater, would you still be their friend or tell their partner who isn't your friend?

Question

He has started secret messaging me and bragging about it. I don't know his girlfriend tho. I wonder if I should stay out of it. Part of me likes that he is confiding in me. But I feel disgusted now too. I have never understood cheating.

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

This actually happened to my wife and I. 20 years ago, my wife had a coworker, "Jane", who became a friend of ours so we even visited the coworker's home where I met the husband, "Joe", and became friendly with him too since we were all about the same age.

Some time, my wife me that "Jane" was fucking around on "Joe". This was distressing to me. However, my wife and I agreed that this was their business. Well, it turns out that "Joe" was fucking around on "Jane" as well. I think that they may have been doing a tit-for-tat philandering. They split-up, but then got back together. However, they did split-up again permanently with a divorce.

I am still FB friends with "Jane". I was with "Joe" for a while but that ended likely to his being a Trumpster and me not being on. I still liked the guy though and hope he is doing well. I know she is doing well.

But, the bottom line is that my wife and I kept ourselves out of it. Part of me wanted to intervene, but our decision ended up being the best one. By not being involved, neither of them holds a grudge against us and life moved on.

IloveWinters · Accepted Answer

Even if the friend is cheater he is still your friend. You gotta back him up on highs and lows. I will definitely support my friend and encourage him to get better.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the choppy waters when a friend spills the beans on their cheating escapades can feel like balancing on a tightrope, can't it? You're caught in the classic conundrum of loyalty vs. integrity. If their actions are making you seasick with discomfort, it's a signal louder than a foghorn that something's off. While it might feel like you're in a bit of a pickle since you're not Captain of the USS Relationship here, your compass seems to be pointing towards a storm.

Confiding is one thing, but if it's turning your stomach, it might be time to steer your ship away from the drama. As for blowing the whistle on the cheating, that's tricky when you don't know his girlfriend. Sometimes, dropping an anonymous hint could ease your conscience without walking the plank into full-blown conflict. Just remember, navigating these waters requires a mix of heart and smarts — and it sounds like you've got both. 🚢💔

Finchie40 · Answer

Since you don’t know the girl , you are best to stay out of it , his time will Come when he is caught red handed

spartan55 · Answer

I would never even be acquaintances with a cheater. Not only because of my feelings on the subject, but being a cheater indicates a deep level of selfishness, a lack of empathy, and an absence of honesty. Cheaters are liars by default, and that's just not someone I will have in my life.

Anonymous · Answer

The answer is NO…. If someone would cheat on someone they claimed to love. Imagine what they would do to you. People who cheat on and/or with someone else most the time have low integrity, morals, etc. They will go behind your back the first chance they get.

If they don’t think they will get caught it’s obvious they will have sex with someone for their own gratification.

You can say that nobody is perfect this is true. Someone doing something stupid once is one thing. But if they’re a “big cheat” or a serial cheater, especially if they have no remorse, guilt, shame, etc anymore. LEAVE THEM

BetaBucks · Answer

I wouldn't tell a partner that I didn't personally know. I'd stay acquaintances, but not true friends. Most of my friends lie about cheating so they don't look like cucks or losers, but I know they're 100% full of shit. It's a guy thing tbh.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I've had this dilemma more than once. I told them they had until the end of the day to tell their partner. If they did not, I would and our friendship would be over!

Crazzyyworld · Answer

My friends used to do that. I hated it but they did it no problem. I think his girl friend was bisexual anyway. She was cheating with a girl. And other friend’s girl friend became prostitute. She ended up at a red light district in Korea. She also cheated. I think it’s just a real world. It’s not a perfect world.

Kelley1 · Answer

I don't judge my friends on their behavior outside of our friendship.

Furthermore, I'm not a snitch. A snitch is worse than a son-of-a bitch. A son-of-a bitch inherits his condition but a snitch cultivates his.

Billlewis · Answer

If they're female, I'm fine with her engaging in extramarital/outside sexual interaction. If they're male, I'd probably be a little bit disappointed, but I wouldn't stop being friends with them.

Lokiion · Answer

Not my business however I will be distancing myself from that person for one I don’t think you are a man for doing that if you wanna go fuck other people you should have made that clear at the beginning or said that before doing it and if she doesn’t agree oh we’ll move on find another partner and two if they would do that to someone else who cares about them think about what they might do to you

Jerre · Answer

I would stay out of it and not respond to his texts

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Tell your friend that cheating is unacceptable, they need to confess, or you will.

avery58 · Answer

I'm already going through that. I'm just staying out of it and have been distancing myself, I don't trust them anymore.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You should just mind you business. But keep you eyes open because now you know what type of man he is. Don't be like these other chics you see on this app and start dating a guy like that and he mad and hurt when he cheats on you when you know he wasn't shit from the start

lightbulb27 · Answer

well I chose to stay friends, but I call her out on it.  it's been ok so far and if he asked I'd be honest with him how much of a cheater she is.

electromagnetic · Answer

If my friend was cheating on their partner who isn’t my friend, it’s none of my business. I’d definitely tell my friend they need to fess up but ultimately it’s not my call.

loveslongnails · Answer

IF I had a "friend" like that, which I don't, I would have a word with him or her, but in the end, I mind my own business. I can't say if I'd continue on the same way since there are too many variables.

NathanDavis · Answer

I ain't "covering" nor enabling that... and their partners are my friends too

MK1997 · Answer

I would stay out of it. It's their relationship.

msc545 · Answer

I mind my own business and I don't say a word about this to anyone, ever.

Anonymous · Answer

Friend? No. An acquiantance? maybe. But that's the great thing about acquaintances. You cam lose them easily enough. I would just not have any involvement with that person if I ever found that about them.

Tim2nice · Answer

I don’t get involved in other peoples private lives. Ever

OtterMan68 · Answer

No, I couldn't be their friend, and I would not tell their partner if I was not friends with them.

Ladsin2 · Answer

Depends on the friend. I likely wouldn’t say anything. It’s not my relationship to interfere with.

Vick2828 · Answer

Tell his girl, and to be honest, if he is your friend, you need to be real with him and tell him that cheating is wrong.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I'd be disappointed and speak to the friend about it, but would not tell the partner.

Jay-_- · Answer

Look cheating is a horrible and low thing to do, but that is not my relationship...

Wise4myage · Answer

Depends on how well I would know the person.

pethouse · Answer

I’d give them the opportunity to tell them before I do

nawtee_me · Answer

Did he ask you to join him? I would have…. ;)

MrGSpotHer · Answer

Well this all depends on if you want to be someone he talks too or how much a friend you are...

DrPepper12 · Answer

Ask him to stop and stay out if it

Anonymous · Answer

I don't invade someone personal life.

Guacamole409 · Answer

Keep quiet.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I wouldn’t be their friend

noohair · Answer

He is playing with you. Like a cat with a mouse.

eagle1951 · Answer

i'd tell

If you found out your friend was a big cheater, would you still be their friend or tell their partner who isn't your friend?

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If you saw a friend's partner cheating, would you tell your friend that they're being cheated on?

If you found out your friend was a big cheater, would you still be their friend or tell their partner who isn't your friend?

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If you saw a friend's partner cheating, would you tell your friend that they're being cheated on?

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