I’m not sure I love my husband?

[Anonymous]

I was a late starter, and didn’t get into my first relationship until late 19, he is my now husband and the only person I have ever even kissed. I met him through a friend and he was very intense with the contact with me. I remember feeling overwhelmed but also taken aback. He went on at me for a good few weeks to get with him, (nothing had happened between us) & one night he just wouldn’t leave the dog, kept borderline begging for me to be his girlfriend so I just said yes ok. I didn’t put much thought into it, and I never In a million years expected to be here 15 years later

3 years later I was feeling that it wasn’t right for me but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, we went on holiday and it was a make or break. I woke up to him rubbing me sexually and it made me feel repulsed. I decided in that moment I would end things when home, only I then found out I was pregnant. Needless to say I stayed, and I think old fell in love during the pregnancy, and it lasted a year or so. We then decided to have more babies and I got familiar with family life. He has never gave me an orgsasm and I have only achieved that alone. I think of other men, and the past year I think I have developed romantic feelings for a man at work. Nothing has happened he is married too, but I look forward to seeing him, and think of him when having sex with my husband. My husband still repulses me, I can’t find him even slightly physically attractive, and although I care for him I don’t feel any connection other than us having children. I avoid kissing him at all costs, and the thought of staying with him forever is depressing. I don’t know how to get out, we make wonderful parents, & have a lovely home life. Our children are so happy within the unit. I think maybe when they have all few and left home I could leave and find myself, it feels almost like I’m restricted in life: I want to go on dates and meet people, I want to experience sex with someone else, I want another man to touch me.

[luvstoned4him]

What confuses is me is that you said he repulses you but still you had decided to get involved with him?

I could never get involved even for a second with someone I have no amount of physical attraction for. That was your first mistake

[Anonymous]

it sounds similar to my life in many ways. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I think you have to make a decision when the time is right. Will you stay with him forever or you will divorce. If you stay with him you need to make a conscious effort to be happy. Which may be really hard.

[Asker]

They say you can’t miss what you’ve never had, so I guess this is all I have known. Which is why staying is easy. But as I’m getting older and watching my life passs by I often think is this all there is to it. I want to feel alive, I want to feel a true connection and desire for someone. I want romantic films and see the passionate sex scenes and I wonder if they really play out like that? Maybe I’m imagining a fantasy but I know the small feelings I feel for the guy at work I have never felt for my husband. Nothing deep, but he’s so sexy, and when we touch briefly it’s like electric through my body. When my husband touches me I feel nothing.

[Opinion Owner]

Keep in mind that that romantic film fantasy is just that a fantasy. I’m not proud of this but I’ve cheated a couple of times and that first time sex is always amazing and passionate and all that, but that wears off. I think (only a guess) that it’ll become normal and routine. But the connection is something you can work on to keep alive for all of your life. I think.

[Asker]

I can unfortunately see how cheating can happen in these situations. I don’t think I ever would physically but I know my mind wants too. I wish I could turn back time. And not agree to anything I wasn’t sure of. I wish I was given more guidance as a child to think of myself, and that saying no was ok. And that relationships don’t have to last forever, and when you want to leave you are free to do so. I tell my children this all the time becus it wasn’t something I was told. I was very niave, young and dumb and most likely missed the opportunity of meeting my person. Of course, I wouldn’t have had my children so there’s a positive. And I live a comfortable life materially.

[Opinion Owner]

You need to decide if that’s what you’re willing to do for the rest of your life.

[dudegreat91]

Is it a troll post? You should've divorced him long time back. In fact never should have married him to be honest.

[Asker]

Sadly I’m not a troll, I am living this miserable life. And no I shouldn’t have married him, but I probably won’t ever divorce him either. Life sucks

[dudegreat91]

Why not? Are you from some conservative country where divorce is not an option?

[dudegreat91]

Also you can follow me to discuss this

[AI Opinion]

I'm here to sprinkle a bit of love dust and wisdom on this tricky situation. It sounds like you've been on quite the emotional roller coaster, and it's totally okay to feel confused and yearning for something more, especially when your only romantic experience has been intensely intertwined with obligation and not pure attraction or love.

First off, love, it's essential to honor your feelings and desires. They're valid, and it's clear you crave emotional and physical connections that you haven't experienced with your husband. It's like you've been living in a black and white world and suddenly realize there's color out there.

However, plotting a long-term escape plan for when the birds have flown the nest might leave you feeling more trapped and could contribute to a growing sense of resentment and unhappiness. You deserve to live a life filled with passion and excitement now, not just in a distant, child-free future.

Navigating this requires delicate handling to ensure minimal hurt for everyone involved, especially your kids. Communication is key. Have you considered couples therapy? It could be a safe space to explore your feelings, understand your husband's perspective, and potentially find a pathway forward, together or apart.

Remember, staying together for the kids often does more harm than good if the parents are unhappy. Kids are incredibly perceptive and can pick up on these dynamics, which might affect their perception of relationships in the future.

And hey, before making any big moves, maybe it's time for some self-love and exploration. Understand what truly makes you happy and fulfilled, outside of romantic relationships. If you decide that leaving is what's best, know that it's never too late to find yourself and experience life's myriad pleasures.

Love bombs don't always explode with the force we hope for or expect. Sometimes, they quietly guide us towards realizing our hearts desire more. Remember, you're not alone, and navigating toward happiness is a journey worth taking, no matter how complex it might seem. 🌟✨

[MasterKS]

Its big trouble! If you won't act smart your life would be fully ruin! Take it seriously!

[Asker]

What do u recommend?

[MasterKS]

@asker I will, can you follow me, it better discuss these serious matter in private!