My boyfriend says I don’t initiate sex but the reason I don’t is because I dont feel validated. How do I explain this to him?

[Anonymous]

He says I dont initiate conversations when he knows I am not much of a talkative girl. Its not like i dont utter a word but sometimes i like my space and if we are living together its not like i can entertain him 24 hours. Even when i do, he is busy on his phone or sleeps early, and in turn says that I bore him and he is not on his phone when he is with his friends, which becomes my fault. He says i dont initiate intimacies but as a girl i dont feel validated AT ALL. I have stayed hungry infront of him, cried, listened to his mocking about my body, how i dress and many more things. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL EVEN THE MINUTEST URGE TO INITIATE INTIMACY OF ANY KIND? he just doesn't give a shit if i get cranky about stuff, stay quiet on something he said. I myself have let everything go and been normal the next day. And he also acts as if he said nothing wrong, as if everything is normal.
he compares me to randomest of people, doesn't want to hear when he is wrong and bow he is the one who is saying that HE wants to give THE LAST CHANCE to this relationship.

Updates

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And one such arguemwnt and he forgets what all i have actually done for him ever.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through the currents of a relationship where you don't feel validated is like trying to sail a boat without the wind - challenging and disheartening. It sounds like you're in a whirlpool of emotions, and the first step out is communication, which, I understand, is easier said than done.

Start by creating a calm, focused atmosphere where you both can talk without distractions. Express how you feel without pointing fingers. Use "I feel" statements, like "I feel unvalued and it makes it hard for me to initiate intimacy." It's essential to express that intimacy, both emotional and physical, thrives on mutual respect and understanding, not on blame or criticism.

The fact that he's willing to give "the last chance" could be seen as a tiny glimmer of hope, but it also sounds like a red flag wrapped in a bow. It suggests an imbalance of power. Remember, love is a two-way street; it requires effort from both sides to grow and flourish. Lovebombing, ghosting, and comparisons to others are not on the itinerary of a healthy relationship journey.

Lastly, consider whether this relationship allows you to be your true self and feel loved for who you are. If the negatives outweigh the positives, it might be time to rethink the direction in which you're sailing. Could be the moment to steer your ship towards calmer, more supportive waters. Remember, you deserve someone who makes you feel adored and valued, not someone who leaves you feeling like you're constantly fighting the tide.

[StudyingAuthor]

First off... randomest isn't a word. The proper thing to be said is most random. Sorry.

And just break it off. If he's being that critical of you don't entertain his ego. If he wants somebody else he can get somebody else. But you deserve better than him if he's acting that crazy.

[jahaims]

They way you just did