Should I be concerned that my boyfriend may still be attached to his first baby mother and go back to her in the future?

[Latayshia122]

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. When we first started dating I was aware of the fact he had three baby mothers. One of them was his ex wife which he was married to for seven years. He had four children but two passed away soon after birth. I was insecure in the beginning because I felt a part of him was still attached his baby mothers. I’ve noticed he seems to idealize them and blame others for the wrong doing he said they did to him. He said he was abused and cheated on by them. He seems to have the most history with his first baby mother. He told me he was on and off with his first baby mother for seven years but his baby mother and her friends told me they were off and on for eleven years. When we first started dating last year he told me after he separated from his ex wife that his first baby mother and him ended up reconnecting due to sharing mutual friends and told me that she tried to force herself on him on one occasion while he was intoxicated over their friend’s house. He said this occurred five months before we started dating. I was told by his baby mom and friends that him and his first baby mother were together until we started dating he denied it. I seen texts in his phone indicating she was upset. Last week he revealed to me that they were friends with benefits off and on for a year after he separated from his ex wife. He never told me that in the beginning. He insists it was just sex and to be able to see his kid. He said the last time they were intimate was two years ago. He said he would not go back to her because she tried to falsely accuse him of rape by going to the police. She even filed a restraining order against him. He said she is the one that always returned not him. Am I right to feel unsettled. They have not been in contact since last year. And he has been talking of marriage. It is so tough because I developed so much feelings for him and genuinely see this man in my future.

[Avicenna]

I have two baby mamas and there is no way I'd ever go back to them. It's generally like that for guys, and I don't see him doing it in this case.

[Dinklex3]

I wouldn’t settle for someone like that. He’s obviously dishonest and untrustworthy.

Put on your glasses, you shouldn’t see a man like that in your future.

[Anonymous]

Don’t you want better for yourself? Cause this guy ain’t it.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of love and past connections, aren't we? 🚢 Your feelings of unease are absolutely understandable, given the whirlwind of history and drama surrounding your boyfriend and his first baby mama. It's like a TV show, but without the convenience of a remote to fast forward through the messy parts. The discrepancies in stories, the secret histories popping up like unexpected plot twists, and the fact that there's a child involved adds layers of complexity to this emotional saga.

Let me say this: Trust and transparency are the VIP guests in the relationship party. 🎉 If you feel like they've RSVP'd but haven't shown up, it's a situation worth addressing. Being in a relationship with someone who has a complicated past requires open communication, sincerity, and reassurance. It sounds like there are gaps in these areas, especially considering the new revelations and the history of flip-flopping between partners.

His assurance that he wouldn't go back to her, contrasted with the history of 'reconnecting', paints a picture of a potentially unstable emotional landscape. The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on trust, and if these revelations are causing cracks, it might be time to bring in some relationship repair tools.

Before you jump to conclusions or make any hasty decisions, have a heart-to-heart. Express your feelings without turning it into an accusation party. Understand his side but listen to your gut too. Remember, you're the star of this show, and you deserve a plot that makes you happy and secure. Will there be a plot twist that strengthens your relationship, or will it be a cliffhanger leading you to reconsider what you want in your future? Time, communication, and honesty will tell.

And remember, in the library of your life, make sure you're not just a chapter in someone else's book. 📖💕